h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*The main lobby of the Clinstar Expanse is truly a sight for any traveller to see. Marble floors, a floating water fountain, vaulted ceiling, golden staircases. After this room it becomes much more modern, of course, but the original builders couldn't withstand that retro cathedrallesque charm*

[And somewhere in the universe, a helicopter exists.]

*Drives in on his high preformace motorbike.*

*a somewhat exasperated superhero librarian arrives in the main lobby and looks around*

*starts getting over-excited at being in the lobby of such a gathering of knowledge*



*wonders if the knowledge is categorised properly*

*Drives in on his electric wheelchair, and starts doing wheelies around the lobby*

WeeHee!!! This is fun!!!

*A hologram of a blue-skinned, bearded fellow shimmers into existence and glares at the newcomers*

LibraGram-You on the motorbike! You on the wheelchair! Stop this at once, or else you will be removed from the Grand Repository of Knowledge immediately! And the closest stop to us is a tiny little Convoy Stop that's quite some distance away from anywhere, so I would suggest that you behave! *Turns to Dave* Take an example from this fine fellow. Quiet, well mannered, properly reverential. Mr.....um,....*Gazes intently through his spectacles at Dave* I must admit that I don't recall you. They must be having an influx of new students at the University, or something....might I see your Library Card?

[Several students of the University stare at the antics of the "assembled" (for lack of a better term) Heroes and Villains as Yar steps through calmly.]

LibraGram-Oh, for goodness sakes....*someone* give me their Library Card, or your entire group will be banished. Hurry up, then.

*NYC walks in, stops and stares at Justin. His henchman Rohe hands him a brick*

*fwip KLONG*

*NYC, looking innocent as ever*

[NYC] I'd give you my library card, but considering the debts I have on it, it'd be embarrassing to both of us if we had to bring it to light...

LibraGram-Debts? Sir, no debts are placed on our library cards. No actual texts are permitted to leave the Repository. The Library Card is just a verification of membership. *Suspicious sneer* And someone who owned a library card would know that.

[NYC] Oh, so you DIDN'T find the coffee stai-- err, right. Of course. My mistake.

*Corrupt swaggers in and eyes the LibraGram*

Come come, do WE really have to have a library card? We're not patrons, we're living artifacts of the Golden Age of Crime! Why, haven't you heard of us?

*Corrupt folds her arms and gives it a very snobbish look*

[Dewey Demon] This is my first visit here, I'm afraid. But as a fellow information sciences professional, I would very much like to become a member...



Please?

LibraGram-Well, I might have heard of you. But not a single one of you has mentioned his or her name to me yet, have you? But since you're clearly indicating that you don't own a library card, I must assume that the only course of action is to banish you from the library to the Convoy Stop. Unless one of you happens to be a scientist or sage or philosopher who can contribute to our repository in some way?

*smooths cardigan, adjusts spectacles*

*Sorry, symlpost*

LibraGram-*Hears Dave* You'd like to become a member? Well, what could you contribute? Do you have some form of knowledge or wisdom of which we are unaware? We're willing to accept members, but only for a price.

[Dewey Demon] Well, I have amassed a considerable body of research into superheroic librarians. And I own what is probably the only spandex cardigan in the universe. Oh, the very nearly interesting anecdotes I could tell you about that...

*begins to ramble in typical librarian fashion, so much so that onlookers are convinved that his cardigan is acquiring tweed patches*

[Yar, holding the door, grins , shaking his head, and stretches out with the Force to try and see if he can find Anti-Affy5 anywhere in here]