h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

1 Drying yourself
2 Drying someone else
3 To strain tea
4 To sleep in
5 Use as a tent
6 As a deadly weapon (when wet)
7 As a temporary umbrella
8 A boat (not a successful effort)
9 A nappy
10 A mop
11 A memory for thread
12 A coat
13 As a mattress in most weather conditions
14 An escape from reality (hidden under)
To be continued......

15) To chew when it hits the fan.

16) a satchel (hold the corners)
17) a robot trap (demonstrated sucessfully by Ford Prefect)
18) trade it (NOT RECOMENDED)
19) hyper-space travel (a must, the towel moves from under your head to under your feet while you are in-transit.... how else would you know you have arrived?)
20) Handy Guide carrying case

21) Hiding your face in shame because of your naked body.
22) Hiding someone elses shame because you've seen their's.

23) Stretching (put the towel round your foot and pull towards you)

24) Strapless dress
25) Skirt
26) Toga!
27) Turban

28. Scorpion, centipede, and rattlesnake control in the desert.

29) Coffee filter / caffine withdrawl emergency supply (this is perhaps the most usefull and important function of a towel)

30) Ummmm...Shutting someone up when they're really annoying you by talking and laughing etc. and you just want to read or watch TV.

31) Putting in the place in a pool table where the balls come out at the bottom so that they don't make a huge noise when you let them all out.

Sunbathing??
preventing carpet burn when those showers get a bit amorous and the action retires to the living room
lumbar support in bumpy bus/car rides
arab headdress at the cricket

32) Conversation Piece

33) A hip rest (think about it)
34) A bird calmer (over the cage)
35) A petrol container (take off the petrol can & dip the towel in & squeeze it in your own)
36) A flag (I landed here first)
37) A sexual aid (over the head of your partner)
38) An anti-depressant (over your own head)
39) A teddy bear (nb: make sure you use fabric conditioner and have not used it as a toilet roll first)

40) To soak in water and wrap round your hands when you have blisters from rowing too much. I don't think it works, but it's original.

41) Rubbing yourself all over.

42) a pillow

43) Weapon (wet towel, wring out excess moisture and use it to slap the back of foes legs, arms and head).

44) Use as a tent in the back garden, just hang it across the washing line.

45) To clean your ears
46) As a cape when you are superman in a carnival
47) To annoy people!
48) To hide your candies with, so noone will steal them
49) To hide other ppl's candies that you've been stealing
50) To stuff down the throat of your mother-in-law
51) To blindfold your little sister
52) To tie people with
53) To cover your keyboard with, to see how well you know the keys
54) To decorate the bare walls in a student accomodation

To jam up your enemy's printer to annoy them.

55) Scan your towel and use it as a creative textured wallpaper for your computer.

(BTW: we have using a towel as a weapon twice, so this is #55 not #56)