h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

This should have been obvious to me since I have been using my best towel for this purpose for almost 3 years. I have a small stand in my room with my stereo on it, the problem is that the back of this stand is open to the wall behind it. (It was once used for an aquarium) Well, the problem is this. all those wires and cables back there look really bad. So I took a towel with a cool ocean design and sat the stereo on it with the towel draped down the back of the stand in front of the wires.

83) to enhance the asthetics of your room by hiding unsightly stereo and power cables.

Neener!

57) Temporary enhacement of certain body parts (by tucking in)
58) As a spice (especially after the 57 other uses)
59) Bookcover (best when not wet)
60) A DIY map (make sure the pen is water proof)

56/7)a sling for a broken limb
58) a lift (just add string)
59) a doorstop / draught excluder

we should be at # 90.

The next entry should be 91

Actually several entries have been duplicated on more than 1 occasion. Sling for broken limb has been mentioned at least 3 times. Arab headress at least 3 times. Loincloth/nappy 2 times...etc... And these are just off the top of my head.

BEFORE you contribute you really should take the 2 minutes it takes to read others entries.
1) They're usually funny.
2) You won't look like such a dimwit when you repeat an answer that's already been given 3 times.
~§~

Right! Here they all are, minus the repeats and correctly numbered for those who have difficulty counting without using fingers and toes.

01) Drying yourself
02) Drying someone else
03) To strain tea
04) To sleep in
05) Use as a tent
06) As a deadly weapon (when wet)
07) As a temporary umbrella
08) A boat (not a successful effort)
09) A nappy
10) A mop
11) A memory for thread
12) A coat
13) As a mattress in most weather conditions
14) An escape from reality (hidden under)
15) To chew when it hits the fan.
16) a satchel (hold the corners)
17) a robot trap (demonstrated sucessfully by Ford Prefect)
18) trade it (NOT RECOMENDED)
19) hyper-space travel (a must, the towel moves from under your head to under your feet while you are in-transit.... how else would you know you have arrived?)
20) Handy Guide carrying case.
21) Hiding your face in shame because of your naked body.
22) Hiding someone elses shame because you've seen their's.
23) Stretching (put the towel round your foot and pull towards you)
24) Strapless dress
25) Skirt
26) Toga!
27) Turban
28. Scorpion, centipede, and rattlesnake control in the desert.
29) Coffee filter / caffine withdrawl emergency supply (this is perhaps the most usefull and important function of a towel)
30) Ummmm...Shutting someone up when they're really annoying you by talking and laughing etc. and you just want to read or watch TV.
31) Putting in the place in a pool table where the balls come out at the bottom so that they don't make a huge noise when you let them all out.
32) Sunbathing??
33) Preventing carpet burn when those showers get a bit amorous and the action retires to the living room
34) lumbar support in bumpy bus/car rides
35) Conversation Piece
36) A hip rest (think about it)
37) A bird calmer (over the cage)
38) A petrol container (take off the petrol can & dip the towel in & squeeze it in your own)
39) A flag (I landed here first)
40) A sexual aid (over the head of your partner)
41) An anti-depressant (over your own head)
42) A teddy bear (nb: make sure you use fabric conditioner and have not used it as a toilet roll first)
43) To soak in water and wrap round your hands when you have blisters from rowing too much. I don't think it works, but it's original.
42) a pillow
43) To clean your ears
44) As a cape when you are superman in a carnival
45) To annoy people!
46) To hide your candies with, so noone will steal them
47) To hide other ppl's candies that you've been stealing
48) To stuff down the throat of your mother-in-law
49) To blindfold your little sister
50) To tie people with
51) To cover your keyboard with, to see how well you know the keys
52) To decorate the bare walls in a student accomodation
53) To jam up your enemy's printer to annoy them.
54) Scan your towel and use it as a creative textured wallpaper for your computer.
55) As a stylish way of strangling a foe from behind.
56) Fake hanging yourself when imprisoned (like in "The Goonies!")
57) Cutting in half and folding up in an intricate way to make shoes/slippers.
58) For talking to.
59) Have sex witk.
60) for NOT having sex with.
61) A table cloth
62) A picnic blanket
63) dust cover
64) camoflage (if green or brown)
65) Cretain Camoflage if bright garish colors(as in the Island of Crete, watch Goodmorning Vietnam Robin Williams in justification of his Hawaiian style shirt and not a uniform "Cretain Camoflage sir, for blending in with a crowd of drunken Greeks, there's nothing better.")
66) Lamp dimmer (drape over the shade for proper "atmosphere")
67) A curtian (for a full set move in with someone who already has a matching towel)
68) Seat cover for your car
69) seat cover for your Lay-Z-Boy
70) shirt or pants -- with a little creative pin-work of course.
71) For putting it between your hand and a nasty insect while squashing it.
72) A canvas for painting.
73) A kite
74) A sledge.
75) As a hobby ( thinking of things to do with it)
76) A cushion for piles (in a ring)
77) A towel can also be used in anger management (scream into it)
78) soaking in a really nice smell (like some nice perfume, or bacony smelling stuff or something)and sniffing when you're in need of nice smells.
79) a dustrag
80) a lasso
81) the bride's train in a wedding
82) flagellation
83) a hammock
84) a bra
85) an icepack (when filled with ice, of course)
86) a necktie
87) a sling (for throwing stones)
88) a sling (for a broken arm)
89) A mousemat
80) Tie it in a knot put a collar around it and call it Fido...It won't eat your shoes or pee on your leg!!
81) Hang from the top of the door frame to make a door.
82) sun visor
83) rain hat (albeit, only initially)
84) lift-summoner (rickshaw, horse & buggy, taxi, bus, ferry,
helicopter, intergalactic starship, etc.)
85) As a parachute!
86) To distract Bulls when caught in a spanish arena
87) Instrument of torture. Dip in water an allow to drip on forehead of tied down victim.
88) to enhance the asthetics of your room by hiding unsightly stereo and power cables.
89) Temporary enhacement of certain body parts (by tucking in)
90) As a spice (especially after the 57 other uses)
91) Bookcover (best when not wet)
92) A DIY map (make sure the pen is water proof)
93) a lift (just add string)
94) a doorstop / draught excluder

- - - - - - - - - - My contributions - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
95) As a cheap neckbrace for when you have whiplash.
96) As a weapon. (Put a couple of rocks in it and tie all the ends together. It makes a good blunt pummeling weapon.)
97) As emergency toilet paper. In case there are no leaves available.
98) As a napkin and/or bib for when eating lobster.
99) To cure colds with. (It's sure to eventually have mold on it from food, drool, etc...and everyone knows that penecillin comes from mold.)
100) As a Welcome Mat outside your cave/hovel/home.
101) To create smoke signals with. (Note* Towel should be dampened thoroughly before using for this purpose, otherwise it ends up as 102 or 103.
102) As a fire accelerator.
103) For wrapping around a branch to make a torch.
104) As a Molotov Cocktail component. Tear into strips and stuff into the top of open glass bottles filled with gasoline, add liquid dish soap for a napalm-type effect.
105) As a breathing filter. (Wet and place over mouth and nose.)
106) As a bolas. (Tie rocks securely into each end, whirl over head and throw at target.)
107) Impromptu armor. (Wrap around one arm to fend off dog, knife, rabid wombat, and insensed chicken attacks.)
~§~ WW!

What happens now?
^. .^
= ' =

now we go for 200! ummmm... any ideas?

108) A dust cover for yout computer/printer
109) A privacy screen for looking at naughty pictures in your school's comuter lab

I guess that I should have sid a cover for your computer/printer. Or just a general cover for things. be sure to get a cool looking towel though, not a 1972 throw-back

56) Eye bandage for Sporting Lisboa's next game.

I saw this one today in the parking lot

111) A dash mat for your car

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^. .^
= ' =

At a loss for words Clelba?
~S~

112) Hey what about intergalactic hitchhicking??????

At a rush for words actually, and haven't we had that one El fishslayer?
^. .^
= ' =

Clomping

I meant clumping

Nobody knows what you mean.
^. .^
= ' =

56. Poison (ie if someone ingests the towel it will probably expand to cartoonish proportions in the esophagus, stomach, etc., causing extreme pain and blocking absorption of nutrients. Eventually, the ingester of the towel will die.)

57. To drape across a room, signifying that one half is yours.

58. To hide things in.

59. To read under.

60. For squishing various small vermin.

Good ideas, but you need to check the consolidated list and get your numbers into the right sequence. Your #58 and #60 have already been suggested if I'm not mistaken, but the other two are good ones, keep up the good work!
~§~