h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So Miss Legbreaker, you are a sneak as well as participating in this disgusting display of smut and innuendo? Birching is too good for the likes of you my girl. Your mother should have taken the cane to your bottom when you were a girl and then perhaps you would have learned a little decorum.

'Breasts'? What are they? I have never heard of them.

Are they something to do with Sport?

Ooooh I know what you are - you're one of those Domina... Dominatrixies aren't you?

Yes Alex. They have a lot to do with the Sunday Sport.

That fellow with a foreign name, it appears that as you have no idea what breasts are you are one of those raving gayboys that seem to populate every avenue of life these days. IF that is so, then I suggest a visit to your GP to book your castration as you are obviously nothing but a dirty poofter pervert. People like you should be put down.

Miss Legbreaker, I am strong and frim but play no part in dirty perverse games. It is an affront to me and my deeply held principles to suggest such a thing and I DEMAND your apology forthwith.

Both of you should get on your knees this evening and PRAY for forgiveness.

Breats ... raving ... down ..... strong and firm ..on your knees......


Gosh, you're very good at it!

Today is Friday the fourth of July!

Yes, it's the day that we in the UK celebrate our getting rid of the colonies!

Therefore today I shall mostly be eating marmite and marmalade and other foodstuffs unheard of in the US of A.

Weather is overcast with a chance of rain later (Proper English summer weather) (Not American weather at all)

The Beasts shall mostly be eating organically modified genetically mighty fine spuds.

I shall mange tout.

You've just made an old man very happy...

and you had me on my and I made you when I got my and I for shame .... NOT!

Lara iwth the fabo beasts!

Right: I have decided that since I was here first, I am legally entitled to make myself Governor of This is...?. Leggy is my Deputy Governor and concubine.

In the absence of any current laws, I have absolute power, so that means that LLFB are mine to enjoy at my discretion.

Now for our next task: a This is...? Constitution. This will take the form of This is...? house rules which must be obeyed at all times:

I propose the First Rule: no one is permitted to use his/her real name in full (initials are allowed) due to a need for domestic security. Transgression of this rule is punishable by mass ridicule by other members;

Second Rule: the icon is not permitted as it could be deemed offensive to some of a more delicate nature;

Third, anyone?

The Third Rule: only one part of anyone's anatomy may be obsessed over at any one time. This is to prevent over-excitement

Proposed by Legbreaker; seconded by Alex.

Those in favour, raise their hands. No votes. Those against, raise your hands. No votes. Good.

Carried. Good to see democracy in action.

Fourth rule: potatoes - in any form or in any context - shall not be discussed.

Standing Orders: Any infringement of The Rules will be dealt with by the Disciplinary Body, chaired by the democratically elected Leggy.

So, I take it that the proposed Fourth Rule is passed?

Good. The People have spoken,

Proposed ammendment to Rule 4. This rule shall not apply when there is a "d" in the day of the week.

Proposed Rule 5: Dress code. Dresses shall be worn at all times.

Supported.

Votes in favour? None.

Votes against? None.

Carried.

Gosh, this is fun, isn't it?

I propose an overthrow of the present committee as it is rubbish. As a total anarchist this proposal is passed without a vote and I now rule the roost

Proposed rule 6. All posters shall take on a speciality subject of expertise. Any disputes shall be referred to the appropriate member.