h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

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*Doc sees Hjik's dead body, tear streaks down one side of his face*

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I might much better appreciate the situation if I weren't currently recovering from near-death. *rolls eyes, goes on*

*Jade rises slowly to her feet and walks (equally slowly) to where Hjik's body is slumped against thr wall. She kneels down beside it and very gently closes his eyes with one hand. She lets her left hand linger on his right cheek and then gently kisses his brow*

*whispers* Be at peace, 'till we meet again. It should not have ended this way...

*she rises again, tears visibly shining in her eyes, though not falling*

We shall first take what HDS needs for cloning, and then I shall arrange for a funeral. Doc, you may aid me, if you see fit.

I'll go fetch a shovel. *walks out solemnly*

*shakes her head*

No shovel. He shall be burned on a pyre. We're going to do this one right proper.

However you want it.

I'll go get the grill...

I've made Hjik into a free floating ecto-plasmic entity, he can take control of his clone now, if you could come and get him out of my Halls, that would be great, because he doesn't seem willing to leave.

Right. Hjik, get out of the Halls, come back to the second Dojo, we'll have your clone in a jiffy. Mean while...

*HDS jestures at Hjik's lifeless corpse, it raises into the air, the blood dripping into a tele-kinetic bowl, so as not to increase Aries's already great task. HDS floats out of the room with the corpse and blood bowl in tow.*

To my room (F104936?thread=235015&latest=1)!

*A dismbodied voice drifts into the room.*

Come on, the funeral needs to start.

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*Sam walks in, in a black tai-chi uniform*

You're not burning him. His body is mine, and jade i'll fight for it if i gotta, and if you join in hds doc'll have my back and we'll all fight for the body. butr i'm takin the body. . . . .

*moves over to where the body lay and tires to pick it up*

...And you /could/ have taken it, but it's not even in this room anymore. So if you're trying to usurp it, you might want to try looking in HDS's room. Though I have to protest. Hjik deserves a decent death ceremony for his body. He fought bravely, and I was the victor (albeit the accidental one.). I'm afraid I'm going to have to pull rank and claim rights to perform his rites. ...And mostly burn his corpse. He is slated to be resurected. In very few words, chill out, all will be well.

It is too late for all that, I'm afraid. But you /do/ have a jar of his ashes. The corpse is not but dust now. But if any of you want a fight, I'll oblige you.

We can fight for the now non-existant body if you want Sam but I promise you, you will come off worse

No crematoriums in the house, I can't stand the smell of burnt flesh while I'm trying to sleep... How bout a Viking burial.. the ocean is right outside?

We burned him on a cedar pile, so the house smells of cedar and not flesh

It was a nice ceremony he deserved no less.

*A clone of Hjik walks unimatedely through the door, it has a metal band wrapped around its head. A Verpine technition follows the clone with a remote control.*

Verpine: bzzzzzzzz tzz stzz

HDS: He's finished already?

Verpine: tzzt zzzt

HDS: Thanks

*HDS hands the technition a small sack of gold coins. The technition hands HDS the remote, accepts the sack of coins, bows deeply, and leaves, buzzing happily.*

HDS: well Hjik, all you need to do now is take over the clone, when you do, the remote control band will fall off and you will be free to live your life again.....still.........whatever

I wish I had a friend who would do that for me.