Introduction? To what?

I am Hjik, the Walking Dead. Everything else about the character will be made known in time.

Okay, that's the b******t part, now for the real me and not this character s**t. I'm sorry guys, but this is b******t. I'm not saying that it's not fun and not a good way to intellectually stimulate yourself, especially when your computer games require no brainpower, (though they require far more patience with an inanimate object that I can stand) but it is still b******t.

My name is Micah Joel Desiderious Methodius T____. No, I'm not taking the risk of angering the gods and telling you my last name. I wasn't born with my second middle name, but added it on legally just for the heck of it, and why not? I don't mean to dis this place, but it tends to bend reality. Its fine to bend reality when you having fun with fantasy, but its never good to live in fantasy.

What is real, how do you define real? This place, this forum, is a forum for the pure exchange of written language and ideas. Humanisticly, you might think of these places as Holy. But. . . .

But, the real world is out there people. Have you ever thought to connect with the person sitting next to you as well as online? As so many sit filed anyway in computers at coffeehouses colleges and librays's around the world?

My real name is Micah, though I have a slew of other nicknames. These would include Desi, (for Desiderious) Father M, (M means manslut, and no I was not molested by a priest) and the Walking Dead, cause I usually am pretty tired. I am Roman Catholic, and I'm proud of it. I'm proud of unity with the Church's history, tradition, and complex theology. I like complex theology, because folks, the world is complicated. Love is the meaning of the life, not the ways things are. And while God is love, our world is just plain sick and in need of some serious attention. God relates to the world simply in love, but God is also mysterious and the ways he intervenes are complex to the point of them being beyong understanding.

I am a thinker and I am a writer, and I hope to be great at both.

I am 19 years old and I don't know s**t about the world, and what I do know scares the living bejesus out of me. I've been around the block a few times and all that has done is make look at things through different eyes.

I have given serious thought to going into ministry, (in spite of the celibacy ramification of being a Roman Catholic Priest) and I would love to be empowered by the spirit and love of God who is lord of all.

I was once engaged to be married to a physically beautiful young woman. But we had a lot of problems during our relationship. In our relationship I was miserable, but I loved her so I endured being miserable. I hoped and believed that it would get better. But because she made me miserable, she also made me quite useless, and so she didn't love me anymore and dumped me out on the street. This nearly destroyed me. But I rebounded and realized something:

I am handsome and intelligent. I have a sense of honor (this can enable me to be chilvilrous), I have talents, and I know how to be a gentleman. If I am not meant to be in a relationship, than it is God's will, because its not like I can't get a girlfriend. I found that when I was a heathen and lived in sin it was so much easier to go out and get women, (although back then I was looking to get laid and not looking for a relationship). I realized that whatever will be will be. This is so hard to accept, but if you accept it, life takes on a whole new meaning.

The only person that you have to live with is yourself, and even if the time you have with the other people you love is limited, if you show them that love, you can feel better about yourself as well. We make our livings by what we get, but we make our lives by what we give. And so I try to be generous, not because I'm good person, but because I like the way I feel when I am. Some people show love in differnet ways. People often show love because they want to be loved. Often people don't admit that and pretend that they do it just because they are nice people. My answer to them is there is nothing wrong with being human. Human beings want love, care and affection, and want to give it to a degree as well. If you know that God loves you, you don't have to leech love off of other people by being nice all the time. Because if you know that you are loved, it empowers you to be mean in the times then you now you need to be mean. The balance lies between filling the self need of being loved and also keeping ones own self respect and not allowing oneself to be degreaded to receive love. Becasuethe Lord's limitless love comes to you for just the way you are. And of respect for that love, you shouldn't let anyone degrade you. Plus, people need to have a little self-respect for God's sake.

I know that I sound fairly arrogant, and in a way I am. But know this, as much as I am tortured by the horrible things that I have done, (of which there are many) if I didn't have confidence in my positive traits I wouldn't have much of anything to stand on, because I certainly cannot stand on how I have morally conducted myself in my lifetime. I am a recovering evilholic, as it were, and this is not easy. It is not easy to struggle with our own sinful natures.

But still, we must continue to be ourselves, respect ourselves and each other. That is the only way to be truly happy.

People need to realize that they are not going to be happy all the time, and that suffering is a part of life. But we choose whether or not we are miserable, though we do not choose if we suffer. Unfortuneatley we are raised in a world that often defines reality as misery and suffering (to quote the Matrix's agent Smith). We must define ourselves not by the fire that burns us, but by the steel and marble that remains.

Wisdom is knowing not to make the same mistake twice.

Knowledge gives me the ability to do the things that have to be done, when they have to done, as they have to be done, whether I like it or not.

It seems that the greatest sayings of wisdom are very simple. This is often not true. Wisdom is not simple, because if it was more people would have it. BUt it is true that wisdom is a lot of complicated things in few words. Lao Tsu, the founder of most of the philosophies behind modern spiritual and martial disciplines, gives us these tenants and commandments.

Tenants of Lau Tsu

1. Courtesy
2. Integrity
3. Perserverance
4. Self-Control
5. Indomitable Spirit

The first four are passive, and the last comes as result from the first four.

Here are Lao Tsu's Master's Commandments

1. Cleanliness
2. Truth
3. Humble
4. Mercy
5. Spiritually Awake

Once again, the first four are passive, and the fifth one comes when you passively practice the first four. But the axe cuts both ways. If you learn to practice the fifth, you'll find that the first four tend to passively come to you.

While I am not totally ignorant at combat, I am a pacifist, unless someone I love is in danger. This does not include myself, however. I will take a beating if someone wants to give me one. As people who strive toward mortal enlightenment, we must not resort to violence, and we must not degrade ourselves with hatred. Christ showed us the way and Ghandi in India showed it could work. Passive resistance is always creates a more powerful impression. But self-sacrifice is not self-righteous martyrdom. A martyr would give his life rather than renouce his beliefs, but he'd much rather live for them.

And that is what I do, I live for my beliefs. They are worth living for, and dying for. Notice that I did not say fighting for. Notice that we Christians keep on murdering and imprisoning people in the name of freedom when our pocketbooks are threatened? Paul writes in Ephesians 6, that our enimies are not of blood and flesh, but against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this present darkness, and against the forces of evil in heavanly places. And so we are all our own worst enimies, and the only solution is to truly love one another. This does not mean that we should bind ourselves to loving everyone just to be loved back, but to love for love's own sake. And as I believe that God is Love, for Christ's own sake.

As Tiny Tim said, God Bless Us Everyone.

Saints and Ministers of Grace Defend Us.

M.J.D.M.T.


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Hjik, the Walking Dead, compadre of His Divine Shadow, servant of a different guard, Angel of a different choir

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