h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Here are the barracks for Regiment Gazpacho

ah ha. first come first serve
*walks round barracks testing comfortability and eventually chooses bunk nearest door as it has a table and room for a chair*
yes, this will do nicely! thankyou brit*salutes* and terran*salutes again*

creachy> mp to the

*if you were say a fly in the gazpacho barracks at around 06:45 on sunday 22/12/02 the following scene would have gone like this:-

buuurrrrgh *cough cough*
ing bloody stupid bloody......wheres my key? shtupid er, i dunna need a frippin key

*door bursts open creachy, a little, ok a lot worse for wear stands in the door way.*

any-'buuurrrrp' anybody in? thatsh good, i didn wanna talk to ya anyway, ha

*staggers to his bed just left of the door and collapses into a heap........on the floor beside it!*

zzzzZZZZZZ *sound of wind being broken*

*if you as that fly stuck around for half an hour you would see creachy rise like a zombie and walk over to the lockers on the far wall, open one and relieve himself in it! something no doubt he will regret in the morning!*

*Sits on the fly*

What was that?

*Breaks wind*

hello every body *salutes where appropriate*

sorry about the mess earlier, i did clean it all up.
just to let you know that on christmas eve morn at 22:00 until 02:00 you can listen to yours truly on the internet at www.youthradio.co.uk
i will be under the guise of john bugwa.
gotta go and get ready for the show, c ya

creachy mp to the

*wanders in and salutes anyone who seems vaguely important.* So this is where we're meant to sleep these days then?

creachy mp to the returns from his mysterious yet forewarned absence from the army and slumps onto his bunk pulling off the amazing trick of being asleep before head hits pillow.

*The proud Corporal Tosh walks in, subtly trying to draw attention to the new stripe on his arm. Walks over to an empty locker and emptys a large collection of kitchen implements into it, just in case its needed later on.*

*creachy gets up from his four day slumber(i like that word, it has a certain finesse about it) stretches, groans and wonders if there is any chance of a fry up?*

*Frederick walks into the barracks and salutes all important people.* Good morning everyone. I am Frederick what are your names? Just like to get to know my comraddes.

Welcome, have a nice bunk.
Or wichever one is avalible.

Thank you Brigadeer Rimmer. I think I will chose this one. *points to bed nearest back wall and window with room for an end table so he can make and * *unpacks bags and then returns to ask Brigadeer Rimmer a question* Brigadeer Rimmer, who are we fighting at this present moment and where do we train? And where can I talk to you about a promotion?
Frederick (first sniper)

Well as you may have noticed, we are a bit unorginized at the mo, we cant even spell unoriginized (I think).
But right now we are not fighting anyone like I said before we are on full combat alert and we train at...
Well, that will have to wait.

Ok. Thank you.
Frederick (first sniper)

You're welcome private.
*walks out of the barracks*

So does anyone want a cuppa or ? I can make some. Where is everyone anyways? Well give me a holler when you need something. I will try to assist you in any way possible.

*standing like a mountain in the dorway blocking all light is what used to be known as creachy. turning to what used to be creachy's bunk the dark creature rips and slashes away ina rage not capable of mortal man. all of creachy's old bolongings crushed the creature/man mountain turns and leaves the barracks that now has a certain bark air about it.
the death of creachy is now complete.*

THE PHENOM

*kicks down the door and stomps up to Rimmer. She is quite obviously fuming* ///RIMMER!/// I just got /shot/ by one of the snipers of /this/ regiment! What do you plan on doing about it...? http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/classic/F108649?thread=234338&post=2894642#p2894642 *has a definate "kill" look in her eyes*

WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!?! YOU WERE PART OF THE VILLIANS AND I AM PART OF THE TERRANIC GOVERNMENT I HAD ORDERS TO SHOOT ENEMIES! I HAD A WHOLE TEAM THERE! YOU NEED TO BACK THE HELL OFF!