h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Countless systems bleep away quietly as you enter, and the Captain is sat in his chair, reading over the latest status report. To his left is a chair for the Fleet Commissar, and the Officer of The Watch has a chair to the right.*

*Mystrunner strides into the bridge, takes a look around, and takes his seat.*

[Nibel] Welcome aboard. I'm afraid we're behind schedule at the moment. Primary engines have suffered technical faults, most of the officers haven't arrived, and we're missing a large portion of our crew as the transport craft was caught in a Warp Eddie and sent weeks of course. I hope that this trend doesn't continue once we're underway.

Nerd42, instead of merely WALKING onto the Bridge, materializes, in a spectacular display of multi-dimensional pyro-technics.

He quotes, "I think this new ship was put together by monkeys!"

"It might take awhile down at Engineering, for me to figure out what's going on, but I'll do my best!"

Nerd42

[Nibel] Glad to see you've arrived. I've got your first orders. I need power to the engines, as much as you can give me. We'll need cruising speed until out of dock, but then I want to see what we can do. Can you do that for me?

#A tall space marine with short, dark hair, scarred face and red power armour entres the bridge. An insignia on his arm indicates he's a Space marine Lt Cmdr attached to the blood angel chapter.#

[Gregg]Where am I posted?. I would like to know where the small(er) arms are kept,as that's where I'm most needed. Where is the brig here?

"Yessir! I'll get on it right away!" says Nerd42, and disappears just as mysteriously.

The Bridge shure seems to be the place for mysterious figures and appearances these days don't it?

Nerd42

[Nibel] Thankyou, Nerd42. As for you Gregg... I'm not entirely sure. This place is still a little messed up... I'm expecting a progress report on the Armoury at any time. In the meantime, you can busy yourself on the Gundecks or Torpedo Room.

*walks onto the bridge*
Hello, I'm the new chief of cannons.

[Nibel] Excellent! Welcome aboard! I hope you can get the Gundecks in order. Gregg should help you there as well.

Yeah, sure!

*Nibel looks over the latest progress report, Engines are at 85% capacity.*

We should be up to full weapons capability sometime soon.

[Nibel] Good, the last thing I want is to be caught short when the firing sta-
*The ship rocks violently as weapons fire impacts into the craft. Fortunately, the shields hold.*
[Nibel] Time to put those weapons to work! Where did that come from!?
[Helm] Three targets, Infidel class Raiders, looks like Pirates, sir!
[Nibel] We'll show them! Engineering! I want full power to shields! Torpedo Room! Arm and load! Launch Bays, prime all Furies and Starhawks for launch! Gundecks, fire as they bear! Get down their, Ralph! We're testing the weapons sooner than we thought...

sah!

[Nibel] Get moving, Ralph! We need weapons fast!

I can give you for'ard port right now, and starboard in a few minutes!

Nerd42 has seen the Engine Room, it's a mess. He mutters something about before having seen it, thinking it was haunted by pie or something. Through an intercom, he says, "I don't konw how long it'll take, but I've got all my engineers except two working on it. By the way," he adds with an extremely grave tone, as if we might have to find out sooner than he'd thought, "how many expendable crewmen does this ship have?"
Nerd42

[Nibel] All if needs be.. I won't lose this ship to pirates!
*There is a bright flash on the Port side, as one of the Pirate vessels is destroyed in a reactor overload.*
[Nibel] That's one! Now for the other two...

You hear Nerd42 saying something in Engineering, having not let go of the intercom button:
" Lets shiver their timbers! I want power for full weapons...."