h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Akak *sniffs the air* There is wizardry afoot. *Reaches into the shadows and withdraws a dagger.* *To himself*I will not be taken THIS time.

*A few crockery jars of condiments, complete each with a spoon or other type of spreader, like a rounded-edged knife perhaps, go levitating over to the table where Sharp is trying to "Doctor up" a sandwich*

[Sharp]: *Hums to himself*

Akak: *To Sharp* what in the name of Donka's helm was that?

[Anole]: A sandwich apparently.

Akak: Jest not. There was a large discharge of magic. What happened? *Sniffs again* And why do my shoes smell of fish?

[Jack] I would not underestermate Sharps proess with magi, even if he is a black mage, he is still capable of creating food for himself. Hey sharp, pass me some tuna!

[Gandark] Ooh! can I have some?

[Innkeeper] Um, we have pizza and drinks mostly. And the occasional cheeseburger but hey, who cares if you bring your own food
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Akak: *To Innkeeper* If you're still serving, I'll have a pizza. just a basic pizza. Oh, and a burger as well. And what drinks do you serve?

[Sharp]: *Squints to inspect the fish-he is using*
"It is as Anole had called it. You can't magic a sandwich to be precut and everything, with the bread already sliced and toasted just right, the way you like it,- on sheer know how alone. I had to use this thing here. Somehow I came into posession of it off of some earl. It summons sandwiches."

*Shows them the sandwiche medallion- amulet.*
"It is called a sandwiche. You'll see why soon."

*Moves the sandwich he has already made to one side.*
}Wheesh!{
A small flash of light later, there is another sandwich there, where before there had been some empty space atop the table.

"Here you are Gandark,- you can go ahead and give this a go if you like. For some reason, whenever I use it, it will pull up tuna. I'm stating to think that different people, can pull up different sandwiches using it."

*Looks down at where some fish had been stepped in*
"Ew. That would be why the feet would be smelling like fish."

[Sharp]: *Hands Akak a towel for his feet*

[Sharp]: "Here you are Jack,- as Akak found out,- well, it took me awhile to get the hang of using a sandwiche medallion. , might want to watch your step nearby the table."
*Hands Jack the other sandwich*

: Starting to think, I had meant. , typos.

Akak: *Accepts the towel and begins to wipe his feet.* I thank you for the loan of your towel. *Returns it.* If you ever require a service in return I will be obliged to do al in my power to help you.

[Sharp]: "Thank you. That is a privelege for which I would be most honored. Um, sorry about the fish."

Akak: Think nothing of it.

[Sharp]: *Goes over to the end of the table and uses the tup to his scythe to Draw the sandwich into triangular fourths*

...

*Puts it away and sits down again*
"Er, would you like to partake of some lunch?"
*Sweeps his hand in a gesture to indicate the sandwixh which has now been cut neatly then distributes out the sections in two of them, as though it were a game of cards*

: I thought I had typed out 'tip'. Oh man, I need to calm down. Always being hurried all the time isn't good for... aw, forget it. You guys get what I mean.

: typos. Graah... .

Akak: Thank you. I see that you are civilised and cut your sandwitches into triangles, unlike those barbarians who cut squares or even *shudders* rectangles. In my homeland those people are put to death. Or at least seriously pitied.

I would just like it to be known that Akak's views in no way resemble my own on this matter.

Oddly, Gandarks attempt results in a rather nasty peanut-butter-and-worms sandwhich that he throws out the window. It hits someone who swears revenge on his family to the 39th generation and the revenge only arrives in the 38th generation when someone decides it would be funny to use a time machine to give Gandark a peanut-butter-and-worms sandwhich at that paticular moment. So it was a rather odd form of temporal offense and revenge cycle that took on a very strange form but now we can get back to our regular programming.
Nerd42