h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Reloads two bullets into his pistol and holsters it*

So, galp'ark, where to next?

I'm tired and hungry. We've been walking for hours. Lets camp and find some food.

Just like you kitty's always wanting to lay around all day and sleep.

*Craxus sighs.*

galp'arc - it's a good idea though. we have to climb asteep hill tomorrow.

*Jumps out of the tree and impales a passing wild boar, tail to head, with an iron rod*

I got the food, who's gonna get the kindling?

*Takes some big folded sheets and coiled ropes out of his satchel and starts making hamocks in the tree he had been standing in.*

Those are very special sheets, woven and blessed by Noldor, they are very durable, camoflaged, and evil things can't stand touching them, stings 'em sonething fierce.

*HDS now takes out two iron rods that have circles on one end, jams two into the ground, opens the circles at the top, slides the rod with the boar into the circles, closes them, and attatches the handle.*

We've got out hog spit, lets get to cook'n!

*gathers some logs and twigs and dead grass and several dried pine branches with the needles still atatched, piles them under the spit, splashes some inst-o-light fluid from a flask onto the wood, lights the end of a small bundle of dead grass with his dragon stamped Zippo and tosses the bundle onto the wood pile, which imediately ignites. HDS sits down on a comfy rock and starts to turn the spit.*

galp'arc - oh lord,won't you buuy me, a meerrceedesbenz.
my frieends allll drive porches, i must maaaake aaamends.
worked hard aaaalllll my life time,
no help from my frieeends.

*Gives galp'arc a funny look, then bastes the boar and keeps turning, fanning it too.*

I hear yah with that song. and what is a "tosh"?

Tosh is a very naughty person

yes.... ok

Row, Row your boat, gently down the stream, merringly, merringly, life is but a dream.

I have got some herbs and apples for the left over boar meat which I found nearby here. I have been making some potions from the herbs that make anyone who drinks it start wooing the nearest person next to them. I got the ideas from Tania Queeen of the Faeries.

katrine

sh*t loads of beer usually makes me start wooing the person next to me

or taquila

*HDS . HDS gets up, takes several small silver marbles from his pocket and says,"open" to them. They iris open into plates with knives and s attatched. HDS cuts off sizeable chunks of the boar's flanks with one of his many combat knifes. HDS hands the plates loaded with equal portions of boar to Owlatrons so that she can put the herbs and apples on them, after passing all but one plate to Owlatrons (the last one handed being her's) HDS sheaths his combat knife (the scabard cleans it), remains seated on the comfy rock, and eats his own portion of the boar. The boar was cooked just right, the meat peels off the bones with ease*

Yummy.

*Raises her nose at the food and goes off to find her own.

Ten minutes later she returns looking very worse for ware and picks up her plate*

Dont talk about it.

*gives werekitty a bemused look but doesn't talk about it*

galp'arc - *looks at werekitty and starts chuckling to himself*

Does anyone want apple sauce or sage and onion stuffing?

kat

sure, I'll take some of that stuff.

*eats a heaping ful of boar and hands plate to Owlatrons*

Thanks His Divine Shadow and then pours some gravy over the meat next to the mashed potatoes. Do you want any gravy? I have some Scrumpy here, and it's very potent.

kat