h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I could cause mighty mischief if I planned to resign.

I'm a Personal Assistant, and not to scare any bosses with PA's out there, but gosh we have power for evil as well as good.

I have my Boss/victim's credit card details, tax file number, business number, home email. I could get him in trouble with a few well placed lies to his wife (he is a loyal husband....but would she believe him or me?), I can send emails in his name to everyone he knows, including his staff. I could inform selected staff that they are under disciplinary attention, or fired!!! I could send abusive emails from him to his bosses and potentially get him on the verge of being fired!

Good thing I'm actually a very nice girl, very responsible and dedicated to her work. I wouldn't even be able to think of doing the above (oh hang on, I did though didn't I).

WennaKat

That’s a very devious mind you have at work there. Makes me glad i cant afford a PA (almost).
Orion

Hi Orion,

I use my deviousness for good, really! Being a PA is about being thoughtful, seeing and removing obstacles before my "guy" trips over them. Looking for opportunities to help him get what he wants and achieve his goals, keeping an eye out for all manner of dangers.

I've put myself through a risk-assessment algorithm, it's ok, I'm a calculated risk. Chances are I wont go balistic and ruin his life.

He is a lot happier and more productive since he bought/hired me.

If you ever have the chance, a PA is a good thing to have. Like a complex little guardian angel.

Just don't forget to feed her/him.

Beast regards,

WennaKat

Hello there!

A "Risk Assessment Algorythm"? Sounds very useful! Where can I get one, and how much does one cost? And why didn't I have one BEFORE I decided to have children??

And as for how much damage I could do in my job - I work in the Public Health Laboratory - how many people could suddenly receive a letter informing them that they have a nasty STD? Oh, and if my boss is reading this - only joking!!!!

Hiya Moonhogg,

Ok, I might have been exagerating a little with the risk assessment stuff....too much research lingo flying around my office at the moment. It's an alternate language I'm trying, unsuccessfully and not very dilligently, to pick up.

Re applying it to the "to have or not to have" children question, I'm fast deciding that probably the only way to actually decide to have children (barring weird condom accidents) is to put absolutely no thought into it at all. If you think about the risks, or should I say certain losses,which may/will be incurred financially and mental healthily, then no one would ever make the decision to go off the Pill. Dogged thoughtlessness is the only chance for the race to survive (barring of course the aforementioned condom accidents - but then how much do we *want* a society peopled with the offspring of those unable to successfully master a tool as elegantly (or rather inelegantly)simple as the condom?). I'm sure I started off with a point there, nevermind.

Re your ability to destroy the peace and relationships of patients within your test result database (ie "What do you mean you have a STD, what have you been doing???!?! What do you mean you must have got it from me???!!! *THWACK*) Yes, you might want to keep a lid on that little impulse, for the public good.

Nice conversing with you

WennaKat

Aww, I really wanted one of those RAA's!
Kids? Had one. Thought it was a bad idea, but after a couple of years thought "maybe this isn't so bad after all", and we had another. Realised it WAS that bad, so had a vasectomy. (Aww, I love them really...!)
I love the way you wander. My sort of loon. Fun talking to you too. Take care,
Moonhogg.

I used to temp in HR, and I was really tempted to email a spreadsheet containing everyone's salaries (and bonus's) to every member of staff before I left...

Didn't though, just left them in the lurch with no one with the knowledge to complete the office of national stat's forms

Hey,
Because i have to feed my PA (if i could afford one) do i have to take it for walks etc. or do they do it themselves? To be truthful thats the main reason i have no pets!
Orion

hi (again)
Just read that thread about haveing kids, i think the best thing to do is take out insurance against it. This way if you have kids unintentionally you get the cash and if you do plan to have them then you get a helping hand financially!!! Its a win win. Not to sure if you can get STD insurance, any one know???
Orion

Hi Orion,

Don't have to walk a PA, just feed.......in the sense of allow them access to you, throw your life open at their feet and say "help me", make sure you don't start acting like their efforts to help YOU with YOUR life are somehow a burden to you.

A little praise when they do well is nice too.

A rolled up paper thwack to the nose used to be effective for modifying naughty habitss, but many employment regulations now seem to frown on it (assault?).

Oh, and the best insurance against kids is rigorous insistence on little rubbery objects at the point of.......contention.

Your servant,

WennaKat

Now in a modern office it takes a Systems Administrator to really foul things up. Change everyone's password, including the adminstrator's, and make sure none of the services on your servers start automatically, a new boot up password on all servers might not go amis either. Hide the backup tapes, take the telephone system offline and, just for the cherry on top, take the fuse out of the water cooler and microwave plugs.

I'd be happy to come and sort it out, at the usual consultant rate

BofH

Hi,

In my neck of the woods most employees are so computer feeble that just reversing their Left and Right mouse buttons would be considered fiendish computer terrorism.

WennaKat

Jey, (its how its spelt propally in sweedish)
We did something similier to that at school, we rearranged all the buttons on the key bords Mohahahaha Mohahahahha anyway and because no one can touch type the place was in chaos!!! hehehe!!!
Orion