h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

My fantasy resignation, having received a colossal amount of money would go thusly:

I'd climb the ivory stairs to the fat cat managers office then stop before entering their grand doorway made entirely from the dead peasants they hunted for kicks earlier. I'd tie a big wad of my new found wealth to a string and throw the buddle, keep hold of the end of my now unravelled twine. Being cynical money grabbing, lesser employee shafting, satan helping, hardly human, evil spawn they lick their lips at the prospect of lining their designer lable pockets with yet more unearned cash and leap for the bundle.

I tug my string and they skip in time. Following in a line, down the stairs to the dark basement where they keep the staff of poor breeding where my newly purchased motor bike is waiting. I jump onto the bike, like a cowboy onto horse of old and it bucks in life. Accelerating, the cash narrowly avoiding a chubby corperate collaring, I ride out of the dungeon office up into the reception. Naturally they're folling, and following them, the workers, angry about 'no-comment' answers to important union pay condition questions!

I drive through a window (luckily criminal damage laws don't exist here. After all, it's my fantasy and I'll do what I want to!) and it spectacualarly shatters, light reflects through the tiny prisms into a bright and the usually dingy room is lit by a beautiful spectrum of technicolour! Stoney executive hearts melt, caught in the shear beauty of the moment, they smile and for the moment forget about profit margins and key proformence indicators. They embrace the proles, both their ideas and their bodies. For today, at least, they're the same.

Outside a lone biker (with possible macro-ego problem) smiles too. I turns my vechile towards the hot, sun-kissed, shimering May road and begin a long journey.

What a lovely thought. I particularly like the image of the window shattering being a thing of beauty.

Assuming that it was such a wad of money that I would never need to work (for pay) again I would first arrange a huge party for my co-workers (who have played the lottery faithfully for years and never won). When the managers peered out of their offices to find out what was causing all of the ruckus I'll just have my co-workers point them to my office where, looking out my window they would see me in my yacht sailing on the lake. Name on the boat? Freedom.

If they didn't get it I really wouldn't care. Pretty soon they would figure out that I was not coming back.

My thoughts lovely? Perhaps. Poorly written? Most definately.

Freedom, I like that. I think it'd be a good name for the motorbike in my story! That or maybe Wilberforce!

What is Wilberforce? It sounds familiar but I can't place it.

William Wilberforce was a member of Parliament born in Kingston-Upon-Hull, East Yorkshire on August 24th 1759. He championed human rights and fought hard for the the end of the slave trade and then against slavery itself.

Year after year Wilberforce would raise the issue of the slave trade only to be voted against by other MP's. In 1807 the it was finally abolished by Parliament.

Enventually a bill was passed through the House of Commons to abolish slavery in the British Colonies. Wilberforce died just 3 days later on July 29th 1833.

Ahh! That would explain why I can't place it. I know little of British history. Isn't it sad that it took the US so much longer to abolish slavery? We had to go through a war to figure out that it was unacceptable and even today we still have some who believe in it.

Are you going to set up your personal space? I went there to see if you've explained your name (which I can guess at but was curious none-the-less) and found you enigma'd.

Not that I can brag. I haven't bothered to learn Guide ML so my space is pretty boring but hey, at least I've written some blather to fill the screen. It also appears that you're pretty new to the h2g2. I'm not an official welcomer or anything but still, Welcome!

Ah-ha! That'll explain why the one of the buildings at Hull Uni is called Wilberforce... I did wonder... now I just have all the other names to figure out...

Maybe I can help? I was born in Hull and have lived in Hull all my life. I've long been fascinated with the history of the place.

Okay, we have Ferens, Larkin, Robert Blackburn, Gulbenkian, Brynmore Jones, Loten, Hardy. They're all the ones I can think of at the moment...

Researching this should keep me very busy indeed. I only about two of them!


Tom Robinson Ferens


Ferens was born in County Durham on May 4, 1847. He first found employment on the railways but in 1868 found himself working as a clerk for James Reckitt (famous Hull industrialist), eventually being promoted through the ranks to become chairman for the company.

He was an amazingly chairitable man, proud of the city where he made his name. He would donate massive amounts to Hull and it's people. A firm believer in higher education he donated about 275,000 to aid with the establishment of Hull University and the city college. He also founded the beautiful Ferens art gallery in the city centre.

He died in 1930, but will always be remembered fondly by the city, for the institutions he gave us and in the names of places throughout Hull like Ferensway, a long avenue running through the centre of Hull, and the university residence hall, Ferens Hall.


Philip Larkin


Born in Coventry August 9,1922. After leaving school he joined St. Johns College, Oxford where he was able to study only after failing a secord world war army medical.

He wrote poetry, his first poem was pubishlished in 1940.

He graduated in 1943 with a First Class Honours in Engish. then moved in with his parents and studied to qualify as a professional librarian, but continued to write and have his works published.

On March 21, 1955 Philip Larkin became the Librarian of the University of Hull, a city which he'd later write about over several poems.

Larkin received many awards for his writing, a CBE and an invitation to be poet loriet, which he turned down in fear of a great public profile.

His life ended in 1985 aged 63. Ironically, I doubt he'd be too pleased about a building being named after him.

Thanks for that!

Hi Cerebros (no longer enigma'd). I found a Wilburforce Society here in the US. Seems he had an impact on our slavery issues as well. How cool to learn the history of it.

You'll have to teach me more about the American history of slavery. I know very little about it but would like to learn more.

As for the name, I'll explain it on my introduction (which I started yesterday!). I'll give you a clue behind it - DVD Films are great because the often have different language Dubs.

I actually don't know a lot about slavery except that it took us a long time to abolish it. Even as late as the 1980s schools taught about the abolishment of slavery as a very small part of American history rather than the significant event that it was. William Wilburforce was an influence in the process of abolishing it and I think that our President Lincoln probably took some of his arguments when attempting to pass laws abolishing it but we still had to go to war for the laws to be enforced.

Ironically, even though blacks were considered sub-human up until the 1860s they received the right to vote before women.