h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Stuff all this waiting I'm going back down computer one to beam down. *dematerializes*

*HDS shimmers and appears onboard. He looks like hell, bleeding from rocks and talons and he only has one leg. He is leaning on a gattling gun, a bloody saber in his other hand.*

My leg hurts. Medic?

*Craxus appears on the teleport pad.*

*Craxus rubbs some of his wounds.*

Argh...those vamps got me a little.

Don't worry though some time from now it will be all healed.

*HDS sways a bit from side too side, wondering if a medic is even on board*

*rematerializes* Was there anyone else down there?

Isn't Reaper?

If you all don't mind, I think my leg would feel better if I passed out.

*Promptly passes out, hits the ground like a ton of bricks (only without all that breaking and cracking)*

and I think I'll feel better if I went asleep.

I know we left Reaper but Im assuming that he comes back up.

Right so what now? I mean after we have had a rest and a reload.

could we drop a chrono-bomb? Designed to wipe all the vamps and undead down there from time? If they never exsisted, would they not then never threaten life on the planet?

Possibly, what causes the planet to blow up anyway?

the planet blows up?

I didn't know that.

In that case, perhaps a bomb would not be the best way to go.

well anyway, what causes this loop effect in time?

[Dr. Recrash] "Us."

He pointed to some readings.

"I believe a critical part of the timeline was revealed, with the proposal to drop a chronobomb on Heval," he said. "Heval was, IS situated on a very touchy part of spacetime. Calculations show that the Chronoship is also interacting with the "Hypertemporal Spirapattern Effect" around the planet."

"I theorize we DID drop a chronobomb, are about to, thereby settin the whole damn thing in motion."

"Rot these vampires!"

should we then, not drop a chrono bomb?

To bomb, or not to bomb. That is the question. See, either could set off one of two things, which I'll explain.

(Pointing to a chart)

The Happy Versions:

To Bomb - Vampires die, we come full circle and Heval snaps out of this Sario Rip and we all go home happy.

Not To Bomb - we fly off, convinced that Heval is one f*cked up mess and it's better to leave well alone.

The Director's Cut:

To Bomb - We set off a temporal chain reaction which finishes the destruction of Heval and, by the way, ourselves.

Not To Bomb - Eventually the fabric weakens from too many repeats, and collapses, us in it.

Everything clearer?

could we leave before the destruction?

[Fester] Probably. The problem is that we don't know whether we'll save the world of blast it into an asteroid belt...

well, which is best for us? I'v heard nothing but "the planet will die and us with it" so we should look out for ourselves.

Why not drop the Chronobomb and then flee?