h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

" Fester , can you read me , if you can please send down some men , i have seen the vampire "

*Mystrunner runs out of the tunnel, the odd gas pouring out after him, and bolts down further into the mines.*

Okay, just ignore that, and move it to the deep mine instead.

Well I better get down there myself then.
Computer, One to beam down to the deep mines.

(vanishes)

< through the radio > " Fester do you read me , could you tell us what this vampire looks like , will halt untill futher instructions , over "

My god! There's blood everywhere we may need backup down here Fester. (sound of gunshot) Damn miners they're everywhere as well. (static then radio goes dead)

[Fester] No information available, I'm afraid you're going in blind.

Fester, I got a blood sample from what looks like vampire blood. I'm going to send it up to you. You might be able to do something with it. Computer one phial to beam up.

A sealed glass phial containing blood appears on the table.

Time= 10:50

*Fester begins running tests on the sample...*

Time : 10.51

Contact me as soon as you find something, Cheers

No one around. Except for the steady hum of life support, the bridge is quiet.

[Chronoship] (Electronic sigh) "I feel so lonely."

Suddenly, the transport pad hums, flickers, and two people appear. One is a shapely brunette covered with obvious cybernetic implants, the other a slim man in gray, grease-spattered clothes.

[Mydalia] "Whoah, I thought this was the little girls' room."
[Doublegun Mikkie] "And I thought this was the peephole next to the little girl's room."
[Mydalia] "WHAT?!"
[Mikkie] "Erm, nothing." (Frantically tries to hide his camera.) "Anyway, where are we?"
[Chronoship] "Welcome, Vipers! You must have found of one the Doctor's tight-beam pads. He disguises them as anything. Standing order is to beam down to the mines. Bye-ee!"
[Mikkie] "Just wait a sec-" But he disappears into quantum reality.

Ryu materialises " computer beam 20000 bullets for 2 MP5s , and make sure that they are silver and garlic filled , also i would like my blade sharpened , coated with silver and some garlic essence around the blade " in a few seconds all the commands were done < radio > " fester , are you coming , lets kill some undead scum "

(materializes from mid-air) Computer refill my guns, sharpen the blade on my 12" combat knife and give me a spray gun with garlic mace please. (it is done then putting away items) Fester any luck with the blood sample yet ? I'm going back down, radio me there. Computer one to beam down (disappears)

" computer one more to beam down " < materialises >

*The ship fills with light as Dharackni teleports in.*

"What have I missed?"

With a start, Dharakni disappears again, vanishing for a second, then is brought back.

"Wow, so that's a peepshow."

"Did I hear the word VAMPIRE????"

(on radio) Yes.

*ties a strip of kevlar to his neck*
"right, I'm ready. Where's the first port of call?"

[Fester] Who knows, this thing is tough to find... Try the Mines.