h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"You twist and turn, like a ... twisty turny thing! I say you are a weedy pigeon and you can call me Susan if it isn't so!" Lord Melchett in Blackadder II

"That," said Wednesday, driving off, "is the eternal folly of man. To be chasing after the sweet flesh, without realising that it is simply a pretty cover for the bones. Worm food. At night, you're rubbing yourself against worm food. No offense meant." Neil Gaiman, American Gods
After reading that I didn't sleep with my girl (at that time) for two nights, without thinking about it.

"That is why it is called the American dream because you only see it in your sleep." The Guru

Ahem. *clears dust*

All existing members wishing to quote, I think this is where we've been asked to quote.

So, to clear the dust and exercise the vocal chords.

"Do you have any idea what it's like to be living in manbot manputer's world?" - Fembot in Futurama

"If it's wrong to eat animals, why are they all made of meat?" Jo Brand.

"You have been weighed. You have been measured. And you have been found wanting."

"This Basil's wife. This, Basil. This - slap on head."

"Klytus, I'm bored. What plaything can you offer me today?"

OK, here's a handful from sublime to rediculous...

"Wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and aall the terible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So now I take great comfort in the general hostility & unfairness of the universe." Marcus Cole - Babylon 5

"I will not want what many men desire, and rank me with the barbarous multitude" W.Shakespeare (from Coriolanus - I think)

"Eppur si muove" Galileo Galiliei
(tr: "But it does move" - referring to the eartha round the sun.)

"Mum! Dad! Don't touch it! It's evil!.... " Time Bandits.

"You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just becuase some moistened bint threw a sword at you!"
Constitutional Peasant in Monty Python & the Holy Grail.

"I'd have gotten away with it if it hadn't been for you pesky meddling kids and your stupid dog."

Share and enjoy!!!!

UG

"Remember child, without innocence, the cross is only iron, hope is only an illusion, and ocean souls nothing but a name" - Nightwish, Bless The Child

"And nobody means it.
They're making up stories.
You gotta blame someone,
You can't blame the Tories!"

A, 'Took It Away'

"You f son of a b. I saw what you wrote. We're not going to forget this."
-George W. Bush to writer and editor Al Hunt, 1988
"You've heard Al Gore say he invented the internet.
Well, if he was so smart, why do all the addresses begin with "W"?"
"If you don't stand for anything, you don't standfor anything!"
"They said this issue wouldn't resignate with the People. They've been proved wrong, it does resignate."
"If I'm the president, we're going to have emergency-room care,
we're going to have gag orders."
... I've been talking to Vicente Fox, the new president of Mexico... I know him... to have gas and oil sent to U.S.... so we'll not depend on foreign oil..."
"We cannot let terriers* and rogue nations hold this nation hostile or hold our allies hostile.''
Some Bushism.

the light that burns twice as bright burns half as long.

With the above B5 quote thought I would put my fave one down

'The avalanche has started; it is too late for the pebbles to vote.'

- Ambassador Kosh, Vorlon Emissary to B5


Until later....
BCNU - Crescent

"Danger could be my middle name. But it's John." - Eddie Izzard

"McDonalds is the place to rock. It is a restaurant where dey buy food to eat. It is a good place to listen to the music. People flock here to get down to the rock music."

"Rock on London. Rock on Chicago. Wheaties: the breakfast of champions."

-Wesley Willis in his song "Rock 'n' Roll McDonalds

Actually, I think all addiction starts with soda. Every junkie did soda first. But no one counts that. Maybe they should. The soda connection is clear. Why isn't a presidential commission looking into this? Or at least some guys from the National Carbonation Council.

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'.

Chris Rock

"Jesus is the Jack Black back of religion. Put him in a scene he lights the place up!"- Dave Attel (Insomniac)

'Be good. And if you can't be good - don't get caught!'
-Marie Lance

A child is not a vase to be filled, but a fire to be lit.

- Francois Rabelais (1494-1553)

'Lord, you gave us feet to waddle,
A tux for tails and bods like bottles...
But 'scuse us if we find no levity,
Since you also gave us gravity.
But to adversity, we say nuts!
And when it's time to fly the coop,
We flap and beat to lift our butts...
...and we're left as walking nincompoops.
So Lord, I'd think you more than wise,
(and me much less a jerk)
If only once you might supply...
...some penguin wings that work.'

-Opus (Bloom County)

Can't rememeber who said this but it's very true an (unfortunately) unprintable:

"Nothing is as over-rated as a bad f or as under-rated as a good st"