h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"I sometimes wonder if it is not the Prince of Darkness who inspires religions with the sole aim of distorting the image of God"


- Mani (quoted in the novel The Gardens of Light by Amin Maalouf)

the agua-moose man had cost me everything

"If you can link a problem with earning money or saving money, it stands a much greater of getting resolved quickly. If a street lamp is visible from an aeroplane, half of the money spent to illuminate the street is wasted, going out into space. So put a reflective cover over the lamp and half the wattage of the bulb. Energy is saved, money is saved, astronomers can see- and the public gets to drink in the majesty of the night sky"

Astrophysicist Neil De Grasse Tyson, speaking about light pollution in the 10th April edition of new Scientist. I've never seen the problem and the solution to this problem encapsualted so well.

Most politicians look like people who have become human by correspondence course

-- AA Gill

"You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap." Dolly Parton.

...the third man says nothing, smoking his cigarette as though it's part of his search for enlightenment.

...girls who leaned sexily as though auditioning for parts in a play ... traded pocket mirrors, lipsticking themselves like four year-olds determined to crayon one spot to a waxy patch.

he then made a fist, signifying --she supposed-- strength. ...she nodded as though she understood, though she felt she never would. things simply made all of them cry and sigh. things dredged from the bottoms of their souls brought them pain at the strangest moments.

----- zz packer

"If i were creating a world i wouldnt mess around with butterflies and daffodils, i would have started with lasers 8 o'clock, day one."
- Evil (David Warner) in Time Bandits

“I’m going to make a suggestion that might help you, but I don’t want this to be taken as an indication that I like you.” Toby Zeigler, The West Wing.

"Imagination is way more important than knowledge" Albert Einstein
"The Truth will make you Fret" Terry Pratchett

“Opinions are like backsides – everybody has one.” Ronnie O’Sullivan

ha! that reminds me - opinions are like gold chains, everybody has one -- truck


everybody wants to get backstage, backstage must be all of the rage, but backstage is just like turning another page, in a book you just want to throw out the window, backstage.

you bribed yourself out of a place in the sun, but you had some change to spare, so you said you wanna spend it on me, and shook the blues out of your hair. such a beautiful way to break your heart. such a beautiful way to break my heart.

i'll feed you fruit that don't exist. i'll leave graffiti where you've never been kissed. i'll do your laundry, massage your soul. i'll turn you over to the highway patrol.

engineer, slow down this old train. cinders and chaff, laugh at the moon. night birds will cackle, rotting like apples on trees, sending their dead melodies to me.

tongues tied under the moon, my love is a room of broken bottles and tangled webs ...won't you lay my bags upon on the funeral fire and sing it again.

----- beck hansen

"The Truth's got it's boots on, and now it's going to kick some arse"
William DeWorde

"...and everybody was doing the funky grampa!"

- Abraham 'Grampa' Simpson, The Simpsons

On many American campuses the only qualification for admission is the ability to find the campus and then discover a parking space
-- Malcolm Bradbury

That would explain a lot


'The company of those seeking the truth is to be infinitely preferred to those who think they have found it.' - Jack Jackrum from 'Monstrous Regiment' by Terry Pratchett

"I will name him Squishy,
and he will be mine,
and he will be my Squishy"
- Dory in Finding Nemo

"Smell Bad"
-Bluto in Labyrinth

"You are not in the Universe now, you are in England." - Salmon Of Doubt by Douglas Adams (As if you needed telling)

I loved Labrynth

"You're fat and I'll throw you in the river!" Ray Winstone in Love, Honour and Obey

An absolute gem of a film

“I think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.” – Oscar Wilde

"I shot the Sherif and the Deputy and your wee doggy too"
Dwarven Rifleman from Warcraft 3


"Don't try and out wierd me, I've had wierder things than you free with my breakfast cereal" - Zaphod