h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"You are what you eat. And I'm a c***!"
- Bernard Manning

Very very funny.

Guess that makes me a...~~~~~~~~~~~

"Anything is possible" - Douglas Adams

"Everyone Runs" - Minority Report

I guess it does Pan....

How about:

"I want to hurt you just to hear you screaming my name"

10 points up for grabs to anyone who can tell me where it came from



Bassman

And though they were sad they rescued everone, they lifted up the Sun, a spoonful weighs a ton.

- The Flaming Lips - A Spoonful Weighs A Ton

In reply to Bassman's question, that was doubtlessly Alice Cooper with the song Poison.

The masses are asses - some guy or other

Yelbakk

My home page has a favourite quote on every page:

http://home.neo.rr.com/centralstation/

My favourite of the favourite - this one will only appeal to programmers, I'm afraid:

"It is practically impossible to teach good programming style to students that have had prior exposure to BASIC; as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration." - Professor Edsger Dijkstra

One for the scientifically minded:

"One could not be a successful scientist without realizing that, in contrast to the popular conception supported by newspapers and mothers of scientists, a goodly number of scientists are not only narrow-minded and dull, but also just stupid." - J. D. Watson

For the sceptic in us all:

"Just think of the tragedy of teaching children not to doubt." - Clarence Darrow

And for anyone who can look at the universe and not be amazed:

"Irrigation of the land with seawater desalinated by fusion power is ancient. It's called 'rain'." - Michael McClary

OK, here are a few of my faves (forgive me if any of these have been mentioned already...there are so many out there):

"Reality is nothing but a collective hunch" Lily Tomlin

"Sell crazy someplace else, we're all stocked up here." Jack Nicholson from As Good As It Gets

"I'm drowning here and you are describing the water." Jack Nicholson, same movie, that flick is full of one liners

"I'll think about it tomorrow." Scarlett O'Hara Gone With The Wind

"The worst bankrupt in the world is the person who has lost his enthusiasm." H.W. Arnold

"Success is loving life and daring to live it." Maya Angelou

"A woman who does not trust love will never know the exquisite security of giving herself to another." Maya Angelou

"You may be the sweetest person I know, but sometimes you are spicy too, which I like even more." As told to me by a co-worker when I bought her a doughnut for breakfast after we had an argument the day before

"The Y chromosome is faulty, it is like X except one of the parts is gone...and that dear is the part that is logic and common sense." my mother

"I have PMS and ESP, that makes me the b*tch that knows everything" Don't know who said it, but I have it on a plaque on my desk.

"He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man."-Dr Johnson.

"Hey everybody! We're all gonna get laid!"-Rodney Dangerfield, Caddyshack.

"I've seen thing you people wouldn't believe. Battleships on fire off the shoulder of Orion, the tanhauser gate...all these things will be lost in time...like tears...in rain." Rutger Hauer, Bladerunner.

"Losing love is like a window in your heart, everybody sees you're blown apart,, everybody sees the wind blow." Paul Simon, Graceland.

"Now I know I have a heart because it's breaking." The Scarecrow, Wizard of Oz.

"Whisper to her that I live only to hold her again for all else is dust and air..." (Paraphrased) Maximus Decimus Meridius, Gladiator.

"A man on the move, and just sick enough to be totally confident" Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas.

"What business is it of yours what I read, smoke, drink or take into my body as long as I do not hurt one human being on this planet...for those of you struggling for an answer...NONE OF YOUR F*****G BUSINESS! Take that to the bank, cash it and take a f*****g vacation from my life." The late great Bill Hicks.

"I'm praying for rain,
I'm praying for a tidal wave,
I want to see the ground give way,
I want to watch it all go down.

Ma please flush it all away,
I want to see it go rotting down.
I want to watch it go right in,
Watch you flush it all away.

Time to break it down again,
Don't just call me pessamist,
Try to read between the lines.
I can't imagine why you wouldn't
Welcome any change my friend.
I want to see it come down,
Shrug it down,
Flush it down.
Watch it drown." Tool, Aenema.

"You see, you can't make an omelette without cracking some eggs and society is just a cracked egg and the omelette...stinks." Johnny, Naked.

That'll do for now I think!

Beyond B**ch!
:::bumper sticker on my car:::

aonemantidlewave, you misquote 'Roy'
He says memories instead of things, but I'll let you off. And the last line in that bit is great too, "time to die".
Blade Runner has so many good lines, like, "If only you could see the things I have seen with your eyes."
Class.

"Insanity is hereditory, you get it from your kids." - So my parents tell me!

I heard this one from a chemistry teacher who was marking A-level papers. Apparently a guy used this as an answer:

"Nitrogen is not found in Iraq because it is only found in a free state."

Only dirty people wash

"Don't knock masterbation, it's sex with someone I love!"-Woody Allen.

Sorry for misquoting Roy from Bladerunner, thanks for setting me straight!

"I have of late, wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth."-Hamlet/Withnail and I.

"In my minds eye my thoughts light fires in your cities."-Charles Milles Manson.

Withnail and I is brilliant.

From Men in Black 1:

Will Smith "You know what they say, it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all!"

Tommy Lee Jones (fixing him with a glisten-eyed stare) " Try it"

always makes me

'Men make their own history. What they can know is what they have made'.

Edward Said
(Cutural Writer - Orientalist)

Great application for the media and a fairly good maxim for positive productivity in life but usually associated with a corporate machination for dealing with foreign culture, ie British understanding of the East and Far East during Victorian times. Later used in association with Western views on the Arabic world. See topical too.

"Is it your fault that Bronn's an insolent, black-hearted rogue? Bronn's always been an insolent black-hearted rogue. That's what I like about him"
Tyrion, 'A Song of Ice & Fire' by George R.R. Martin

"Tyrion:'My b**ch sister has sold you a lame horse. The girl's dim witted.'
Bronn:'If I wanted wits, I'd marry you.'"
Same book.

The book is actually packed with those, but those two were in the last couple of pages so I remember them best.

'All that is solid melts into air'

Karl Marx, perhaps after prayer, considering that he said -

'Religion is the opium of the people'