The h2g2 Post 25.09.17

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Posted: 25th September 2017

It's late. Your cat knows where you are.
You had better be reading the Post.

Molly looking to see what she can steal from the Editor's desk drawer.'Ah,' you say. 'That Molly is a professional cat. Look how she poses for pictures.' Wrong. The Editorial Assistant Kitty is just interesting to photograph because a) she's always trying to rearrange things, and b) she pays absolutely no attention to anything you happen to be doing at the same time, like fiddling with a digital camera. When this picture was taken, Molly was trying to winkle things out of the Editorial desk drawer. But since she looks like she's inviting us all to read this week's issue of the h2g2 Post, we will read her actions resistantly. Which, believe me, is the only way to go when she purrs in your face at five am. Those whiskers tickle. . .

This week, we have yet another issue that is chockful of fun, games, and surprising Stuff.

Speaking of kittehs – which we never go too long without doing – Uncle Fluff, the babysitting tomcat, is back for a return engagement. The Hoggetts got a guesthouse (it's a work in progress), and Fluff considers himself the proprietor. Help caption, please.

A short time ago, I wrote Willem a poem:

Willem sits in the baobab tree,

Drawing all the monkeys he can see. . .

He's still at it. View this week's delightful monkey below.
You see that sunflower over there? It's courtesy of the story-telling lady at the public library, who is a friend. A couple of years ago, she told the kids a really cool story about sunflowers, and since then, out back of the Post Office, we've just had to plant the big yellow blooms. They take a long time to come up – 100 days, says the seed packet. When they do, they provide an interesting surprise for those parking in the municipal lot on the other side of the wall. Sadly, though, when they flower, we know that autumn is upon us.

The story-telling lady knows about autumn, too. Last Sunday morning, I'd just had a discussion with Galaxy Babe about whether people in the US knew the word 'autumnal'. Then the story-telling lady told the kids at the local church about autumnal happenings. She explained that 'autumn' was another word for 'fall'. And we knew why it was called 'fall', right? And she held up that bane of our autumnal existence, a black walnut. Yep. They fall all over the yard. . . thunk. . . it's like an aerial bombardment, without fighter cover. . . just a fat grey squirrel to fetch them away. . .

All of this is just to say: send us pics of the changing (or unchanging) seasons in your backyard. And don't get hit by flying walnuts. Remember: Create are ringing the changes this week still (and later, if you're inspired). Next week, we're going to surprise you with a challenge you won't see coming. (Sinister chuckle.)

So what else is new in this issue?
  • FWR concludes his nerve-wracking Ha'penny Dreadful this week. Finally, you'll be able to sleep at night. . . or will you?
  • FWR also has a story for lagniappe: he calls it 'Another Ha'penny's Worth, Not as Dreadful'. Like the sequel to Night of the Living Dead, it takes place in a shopping mall.
  • Awix has been to the cinema again. Did he like the film? Did he hate it? You'll just have to read and find out. From the discussions lately, we gather you've all got opinions. Share and enjoy this admittedly ground-breaking film.
  • We have humour. Some of the jokes are real antiques – call it steampunk. Very high-tech, too, what with the zeppelin cartoon.
  • Speaking of humour, SashaQ has been messing around with that chatbot again. See if Cleverbot appreciates a jest.
  • Dance
  • We have quizzes to test your own cleverness, and maybe your sanity. One is about dancing. Another is just way strange, and then there's Bluebottle. Take your time. We recommend frequent reality pauses.
  • Cactuscafé is back with a novel take on the idea of 'ringing the changes'. This musical collection of art and essay required the help of a musician and an angel. You can't beat that with a stick.

As you can tell, you've got your work cut out for you, readers. That's a lot to absorb. Fortunately, you've got all week. We'll be back in seven days with something even more inexplicable.
Stay safe out there, and enjoy your week!

Stop-Press News: Yet another h2g2 writer has surfaced on the open market. Are you a fantasy fan? Then you're going to want to read Willem's new novel,The Disenchanted Kingdom. First review to be sent to the h2g2 Post will be published. Okay, so will the second and third, but the first one gets the honour.

Dmitri Gheorgheni

  • Samango Monkey by Willem.
  • Fluff is in charge of the new house.



  • A boot crushing a cigarette.
  • Player with a synthesiser


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