h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hey, yeah I play warhammer! and 40K! what armies do you play?

I play many GW games myself.
I have Orc & Goblin and Dwarf armies for FB, but I am currently playing a High Elf army that has grown to be pretty huge recently.
I have Eldar 40k/Epic armies.
I play Necromunda, Quest, Blood Bowl, you name it.

I used to spend all my time playing WH, 40K, WHQ, Necrom., etc. But then all my friends died. Not really, they just discovered decent music and girls. Oh well. I have a large Orc and Goblin army (c. 6000 pts), a large Eldar army, (also c. 6000 pts), 2000 pts of Chaos Dwarfs and about six other armies my friends left at my house when they stopped playing. Anyone fancy a game in the Herts area?

How about the newcastle area in AUSTRALIA

You're in LotR aren't ya? I have a Warhammer playing friend in Canberra.

Hey, if anyone stumbles across this by accident, just ask me anything about my armies or the hobey. I am v. informed about all aspects.

Hurrah! I've just got back from getting my Chaos army's (collective) arse kicked by some bloody Tyranids. Far too hard.

Takes me back to my friends bearby Blood Angels, who could mever beat Tyranids.

I've never played against Tyranids before, and as nearly all my army is geared for close combat, my opponent ended up opening up a *BIG* can of whoopass.

I'd have thought that close-combat troops would be ideal against Tyranids. Which Chaos god/s does your army/s follow?

when a boy plays warhammer, i consider it sad, but when a grown man plays warhammer it can be oddly attractive......not sure why i posted this.

Oddly attractive? You fool! No-one on this thread will be able to get to sleep now!

sorry, didn't know i was that scary.

Not exactly scary.... No. I won't even go there.

I frinking well hope u r not accusing me of being anything that I am not ie a mere -boy-!

Eldar are the best army because:
1) They have the best dress sense.
2) They have the best hair styles.
3) They have dead high Ld, showing they are all very smart, therefore they are all sophisticated.
4) They are just like me (see points 1 to 3)

You are particularly well suited to an Eldar army- arrogant b*st*rd that you are. Now me, I have a 40k Khornate army. Sod Tyranids opening a can of whoopass on you, howsabout running into two eight-man Berserker Terminator squads (I'm an aesthetic, and I have to use sacred numbers- eight is Khorne's) armed with lightning claws and one squad armed with chainfists and power weapons? Even Genestealers have shunned charging me.

Added to which, good news for the anti-'nids. In the new codex, 'stealers claws will NOT count as power weapons. I know this because I used to be a key-timer at the Newcastle (England) store. Yes, I know that they only employ people over the age of eighteen, but I was only just 17 when I started working there in June of this year. The downside to this news (before you start cheering) is that they will only cost 11 points, but they won't be doing as much damage to you.

And to the bloke (I think it was you, Jonny) who said that close-combat troops were ideal against 'nids, try pitting a Space Marine Assault trooper against a Genestealer using the current stats. The 'stealer stikes first, gets two attacks hitting on threes, and will kill the Marine on a role of a four. As the 'nid player is rolling 2 dice, it is a statistical likelihood that the Marine will be dead before he can even swing his mass-produced, flawed imperial chainsword. You would be far better off sitting in cover and waiting for them to charge you. At least then you will strike first, as 'nids don't have access to frag grenades.

The same applies for Lictors. Nasty beasties that they are. Either that or getting a meltagun shot on target...

Speaking of which, none of you will have seen my Biker Lord. Kind of a melding of Chaos bike and Flesh Hound: front legs for forks, face and ruff for the faring, meltagun poking out of the mouth (now that's what I call bad breath. I'll never forget the quote from Gunmen of the Apocalypse [Red Dwarf] when Kryten says to Lister: And you sir. Every time I look at you I get this image of curries and lager, and morning breath that could cut through bank vaults. Well, this guy's could cut through bank vaults.), and ridden by a Berserker. All made from Arbaal the Undefeated, a plastic Berserker and the Chaos Bike kit. He managed to kill 15 Marines (including a Force Commander) and 11 Berserkers in four rounds of combat. This was in two different games, before people get confused.

Strangely, I have not got an Undead army...

Necro.

Talking about coversions, I must be collecting the worst armies around for those sorts of things. I mean, does anyone know any conversions for High Elves? You'd expect that sort of thing to be in Shite Dwarf of Shitadel Journal, but they're too busy making money, capatalist scum.

And trust me to like the most expensive (£) army in 40K. Imperial Guard. It seems fitting that the only army I could bear to be seen with in 40K is the most expensive one. Which is probably why all my Gay Workshop stuff is gathering dust. Not that I loathe it or anything. I just wish that GW would start making things value for money, and show me some ponty eared stuff.

The new Guard plastics are quite tasty. And only £12 for 20 Guardsmen. However, it still only costs GW about 5p to make each one. And you still have to buy the heavy weapons teams and sergeants (but then you had probably guessed that...).

Pointy-ears conversions.

Hmmm.

Tricky.

But possible.

What you could do is things like arming White Lions champions with spears to characterise a Chrace army's City Draft units, or that universal (but bloody difficult) conversion; head swops. That aside, all you can do is experiment with different weapons, heads, mounts, legs, etc. I mean, have you even considered creating an Elven steed Pegasus, using the wings from a great eagle? Drill holes in the shoulders of the steed (at the same height, of course), then glue the wings in place. Smooth it in with a bit of putty, defining some wing muscles at the same time, and hey presto! An Elven Pegasus. Ideal for the Elf Lord who has everything.

And as for the Guard. There is an unmittigated wealth of possibilities! Dead bodies littered across the bases of your Ogryns, crewmen sat on vantage points of your tank, lighting the way for the driver with their mag-lights. Use your (probably over-active) imagination. It's what it is there for!!!

As for why they have no Elven stuff in the Dwarf at the moment, the reason is clear. They haven't got any new Elven releases out at the moment, and the army book has been out for ages.

Necro.-)

The new plastic Guardsmen are Catachan. I want Cadians. I've already got a few Cadians. I could just change my army to Catachans but I don't want to.

The Elven Pegasus sounds like a nice cheap alternative. If I want my army to expend over 4500 points then I suppose I should consider it.

You know the 'perial Guard tank kits that come with those blokes sitting on the sides? They're just for decoration aren't they?

Even when the new look High Elf army book was released, the only thing that was in Gay Dwarf was a scabby article that was virtually ripped out of the book. Of course it had all the mandatory "oh this army is great I shall start a new High Elf army". But they say that with every new release and it's -so- phony. And they still haven't released some of the special characters. Opportunities for conversions, they'd say. Laziness, I call it. No-one actually want Alith Anar and the lot in their armies so they haven't been very clever in designing their characters. Expending the background, they say...

To be honest, I'm thinking of selling up. I could get some nice prices for my old/decent White Dwarfs...