h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

grabs the Tequila and away i go!

Here are some sample questions from my nightmare exams:

1. Who invented the seed drill and the aqualung?

2. Are you still beating your wife?

3. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if it were unionized?

4. What kind of a noise annoys an oyster? Please explain in one of the following languages: Klingon, Esperanto, or Ebonics.

5. Is this the last question?

>Here are some sample questions from my nightmare exams:

>1. Who invented the seed drill and the aqualung?

Different people! Did you think they had something in common?

>2. Are you still beating your wife?

She has learned to do things the right (my) way, why bother?

>3. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if it were unionized?

I woodchuck would chuck only 1/3rd of the the wood chucked of the wood chucked by scab woodchuckers, who are paid by piecework.

4. What kind of a noise annoys an oyster? Please explain in one of the following languages: Klingon, Esperanto, or Ebonics.

De oyster duz knot like de sound of a dredger worken ober hiz bed!

>5. Is this the last question?

It had better be, as this is my last answer.



FS

nice to see that everyone has so much fun with my announcement

If we're not careful the post will try to pick us up for another piece

1) What is the length of a piece of a string that is more than twice its length?

2) Why is a mouse when it spins?

An amazing thread indeed. .

Yes, Tavaron, your announcement really started something. . What a great idea! A random theme, in this case Test!, fluttering gently into the community, like a strange feather from .. from where? .

Not that you planned it. . It probably wouldn't have been so good if you'd planned it. .

I don't venture out much into the community at large, so I discovered new names and ideas.

Amazing, all the different takes on the one theme. Like facets of a crystal. Ooh, that's poetic. .

Sadly, I know the answer to 2). It's "The fewer the higher".

Can't remember why though.


Geggs

That is disturbing Geggs


I've never run into someone outside my family who knows the answer before - you're not someone i know are you?

Test! Test! Test!

that was the 3rd test and england still haven't scored

No, I'm not someone you know Nbb. Or at least, you don't know me.

I think.





Geggs

N'owt wrong with tests. If they find and get rid of all the bugs rather than just becoming box ticking exercises


Did a quick stock take last night, 34 bottles of left.

34 bottles of wine on the wall, 34 bottles of wine...

If you choose an answer to this question at random,
what is the chance you will be correct?

A) 25%
B) 50%
C) 33%
D) 25%

Hint: A533927

Here's another question:

What is the difference between a duck?

(If you know the answer that I know, you are probably within six degrees of separation between me and my sister's first husband!)

Ah yes, CD. That one's actually an urban myth. I'm not going to perpetuate it here, not after that incident last time when the BBC Trust got involved. Highly embarrassing.

someone say vodka?

"What is the difference between a duck?"

One of its legs is both the same


One of my favorite old jokes

Actually, Pastey, the answer is 'One of its legs *are* both the same'. So there! (That's the way I heard it, anyhow.)

Oh come on! It's from an obscure kids joke book from the early 80s! The fact that I even knew it was amazing