h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

cactuscafe, my France story is growing v-e-r-y slowly, because I rewrite so much. I sometimes seem to be going backwards.

Dmitri, are you describing the AWW as a virtual literary soiree?
Are we supposed to sit around on chaise longues saying "Oh, dahling, did you read that story? I thought it was just so fascinating."

Not at all, MVP. I would never do that. Not if you don't like soirees. I guess we're more like matinees.

Now, me, I kind of like to sit around and say 'Dah-ling', but Elektra doesn't let me...

Oh, and we're so ignorant over here, 99.9% of the population (including me) pronounces it 'chase lounge'. Shows how cool WE are.

I'm so posh, I put a white handkerchief over my finger before I pick my nose

I knowand

You're bringing the tone down, Prof.

Ah, good afternoon, dah-lings. All very interesting.

I like to imagine I am an ailing aristocratic lady (less laughter please Dmitri and Elektra), reclining on a chaise longue, eating strawberries, and peering at lupins through a laudanum haze, and then it all gets a bit DH Lawrence, concerning gardeners and things, so end of posting.

Oh, CC, don't stop just as it gets interesting! The is out there waiting. Give him/her a thrill.

CC, I was just about to email you with a .

I am desperate. Bel has run off to Blighty and left me in charge of .

And I find myself - of course, at the last minute - in need of copy.

This is a real, real, crying need.

So my question:

Can I, pretty please with sugar on top, have your 'Notes on Notes' for Monday's issue?

If you say no, I will go and do a Werther (i.e., shoot myself). Failing that (my aim is poor, and besides, I do not own a firearm), I will put together a pastiche of THIS THREAD and publish that.

Well, I asked.

Hullo dah-ling. Sorry I'm late. I hereby give you permission to use anything you want for the beloved and marvellous Post.. (Except if Elektra scripts the ending for my previous posting, then we might just be bleeped. hahah. ). I can't remember what my Notes on Notes actually are, but you, oh Editor know all. .

PS Please don't do a Werther. Who is Werther? Or, I should say, was. (cor honestly, all this Research, and all before sherry.)

Then I will make sure these mysterious Notes appear in - but not on Monday. I'll put 'em in for the following week, where they will shine like the jewels they are among what will no doubt be a flood of wonderful entries - just as soon as h2g2 realises that Bel is back.

In the meantime, I think I've got it covered. (Although there will be wailing and gnashing of teeth, just you wait...mwahaha...)

You're a dear.

http://www.werthers-original.us/

I will go and do a Werther (i.e., shoot myself)?? shot by a toffee ???

Hey Prof! OK, so the Werther situation becomes complex. mmm. . they look nice, those toffees. .We await further insights into the suicidal toffees, who gave their name to Werther. . Whoever Werther is.

Awaits further information on this matter.



No pressure with the Notes, boss. Always glad to support The Post how and when I can, but don't feel pledged just 'cos you woke up the Notes, which I had forgotten about. . uh oh ... hah! Notes take their chances. Notes are Notes. They are travellers. They can sleep on overnight coaches. They fly kites. They like donuts and dice and dominoes. They are in awe of people who aren't afraid of rats. They plan one day to write a sonnet. .... . Notes just go on and on writing stoopid things ..... .

I wish my notes did that.

My notes are boring things that say "There was a fronding of cloud today but no rain," or "I discovered that it's the sparrows that have been eating my spinach."

That's what comes of being mediocre. I'm half minded to write something on the importance of being mediocre.

'The Importance of Being Mediocre'. That sounds wonderful, MVP. I hope you'll write it, and we'll read it.

Okay, Werther was this guy, you know? Not as cool as Zaphod Beeblebrox. Like Zaphod, a fictional character. Unlike Zaphod, he got so depressed about everything that he shot himself.

This started a fad - young men shooting themselves - so the book caused a scandal.

The book was by Goethe, a great writer, who is depicted in this very funny film trailer. Note for mods: This trailer is in German, but it has accurate subtitles IN ENGLISH. So, people, DON'T LISTEN. Just watch. Then you don't get any furrin influences:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVzzru6XYMY&feature=related

haha. Notes understand cleverly disguised literary references, but they still don't know who Werther is, although they love toffees. Notes wish they had said because they think that's poetic. They would like to grow spinach also. Notes have a ways to go. They keep forgetting where they left their intentions, so they prowl through the dimensions in search of photographic illumination and books on the history of the telephone. Notes .....

OK ..... I go ... . .

Oh ... The Werther posting came in!! .....while I was going on ....

but I am one paw out of the door ... so I will return later for illumination ....

whoooooargh

I've heard that Goethe was arrested in Malcesine in Italy and accused of spying.

Of course, if he was a writer, he was doubtless going round with his note book, writing down everything he saw. No wonder they thought he was a spy.

I now's understands a werner

I could NEVER commit sue I cide, I'm TOO nosey! I might miss something

Oh! Right. Goethe. So. Goethe. I am about to drink thirstily from the fountain of knowledge, yet again. Goethe. Awesome. OK. Goethe.Kinda brilliant then. . What can I say. Nothing. Think I'll just drink.