h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[cook] righty oh sir.

*pours the in the cup back into the pot, then sets the little replicator on the top to add some extra cafine to the mix as it pours. pours some extra strong into the cup and hands it to Scullock*

[cook] enjoy sir!

*Drinks the tea.*

Thank You.

*With a sudden fluid movement Skullock whips out his twin lightsabes, which flash an errie dark blue for a second as he decabitates the cook and puts them back away.*

*yells at a passing officer*

Hey! You might wanna get someone to clean this up!

*Slinks off down the corridor in a sith like mannor, smirking to himself with the joy of harming innocent expendable crewmen.*

*Several jainator droids pick up the corpse, clean up, and then leave, as another cook takes the place of the last at the trolly. He begins on the prevouis cook's asignment, which is to wheel the trolly about, giving to people.*

*Comm to all*
In Schrimma's absence, it seems his ships are vulnerable. Attack.
*The X Appears fully operational with gross upgrades.*
*A triplet of beams shoots out of the X, the hyper lasers are a formidible weapon. Also, mega-rockets made from the wreckage of a Vong fighter are launched, their mix of organic and inorganic matter is a new and possible massively destructive combination. Also projectile slugs of magnetic alloy tear through space at the Vong ahead of the mega-rockets.*

That and we don't have a yammosk with us

*One of the triplet beams is absorbed, the others sweeping across the forward section, causing havok, the magnetically propelled slugs pass through the dovin basal screen un abated and get stuck in the hull while half the mega rockets get throughand blow the front third of the ship off into space*

*The frigates and battle cruisers continue firing at everything that comes close*

num num num

*drops some crumbs*

Oops. Hope noone saw that...

what's a yammosk?

can't believe she dropped some crumbs.....

I know, in a shace ship, cleanliness in next to surval, has she not seen the Simpsons?

Yammosks use their insanely potent mind powers to get everyone and every thing in the fleet to work better, much better. If a Yammosk had been present for the frigates and cruisers none would have been damaged yet.

oh, my /gods/. I can't believe she did that!

*the X marvels at itself in it's crumblessness.*

*Heads to the engine room of the Asgard to see if he can help fix it. Notices several Replicators and shoots them with a revolver*

How'd THEY get on board? Scan indicated there are none left. *Sets to work reparing the engines as best he can.*

Hmm I wonder how did they get on board??

*Craxus activates internal secruity as many setry guns pop out of the sides of the halls.*

*Craxus continues to order weapons to use when fired.*

[Weapons officer] Firing the Quad Array weapons at maxium as well as phasers intertwinned.

*The starship Asgard quad array and phasers burst out and fire at all non allies.*

*Many of the shots are absorbed, but many others are not. These hollow out the middle third of the damaged battlecruiser. All Yuuzhan Vong ships continue to fire on their enemies*

*dodges blasts and blows up the cruiser*

Kill ye not our brethren!!

*waves to the replicators and finishes her biscuit*

*Craxus looks a little concerned.*

[Craxus]Fire up the plasma beam as well as the defense towers.

[Weapons Officer]Aye aye

*Weapons fire from the 4 armies against us smash into the Asgard's shields making a nice rippling gold sight.*

[Shields officer]Sir, shields at 91% and holding.

[Craxus]Good, we made need to switch to the Ancient Shield Tech.

*five Go'auld motherships drop out of hyperspace and instantly take up attack positions against the asgard. full ion cannons are being fired and shadow cutters that must have been adapted from a previous battle. deathglider squadrons are released to draw allied fire away from the motherships. 2 motherships target the asgard engines.*

*Stargates form up around the ion shots, the ion shots enter the stargates, then the stargates close doing no damage to the starship Asgard.*

*In return to the humble giving of Shal'pek. Craxus launches his mobile suits and patrol fighters for the patrol fighters to guard the starship Asgard as the mobile suits attack the goa'uld.*

*Craxus lanches missiles 1-99 at the goa'uld mother ships. These missiles contain a small naquada tip which will increase the power of the missiles tremendously.*