h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*as head of the Go'auld i feel it my duty to point out we are allied with no-one at the moment. we are on our own building an ever largening fleet in the shadows and quite happy to see everyone has conflicting interests! you will hear from my forces soon enough!*

Arrrrgh a new enemy, everybody panic!!!!!
Heeeheee.
Not the the response to your threatening speach that you expected was it?

*minds change as quick as the wind on a bloodied battlefield*

Oh is that a threat?
*The X disappears.*

*it is a warning, nay, prophecy oftimes to come. the Go'auld will rule supreme and any rebels will fight in fear and darkness!*

And then spake Shal'pek I am the ruler.
But lo upon the horizon appeared an avenger of X proportions he vengence was reaped upon those unworthy of ruling.

*what army are you part of quixote, or are for hire?*

I work for no man. I see injustice and I destroy it. Um, but everone has their price.

*if you to, say, fall under my wing of protection. not an alliance just an agreement. i will teach you the ways of the ashrak, give you access to highly advanced technology and aid you in your fight against 'injustice'.*

For some reason, maybe the afore said prophesy, I don't believe you. However, if you help destroy the Yuuzhan Vong and no other, I will give you my word that until the last Yuuzhan Vong ship has fallen, I will not touch you.

*unacceptable. although i have no alliance with the vong i agree with their mission for now. you could not touch me anyhow. you have not got the power needed. seeyou in battle!*

Shal'pek

*White Star 9 comes out of the jump point and fires naqadah tipped shells at shal'pek's ship*

Shalpek, you will find us a more devious enemy than you would like to mess with.

Yuuzhan Vong ships have no engines, Dovin Basals take care of propulsion.

*B2 asorbs the mace missile with a dovin basals before it can detonate. B2 then fires many salvos of its cannons at the Outlaw Star.*

*One of the pods detonates from the inteception fire from the Outlaw Star. But the others make land fall and pop like over ripe fruit. A brown gas explodes outwards and metabolizes any life it comes in contact with, converting it all into hydrogen and oxygen, as the life on Terrania disolves into gas the size of the atmosphere doubles in size. Gunnery fire from B4, which was very close to the atmosphere before ti doubled in size ignites Terrania's atmosphere. Terrania's sun pales in comparison as Terrania burns brightly. All of the Yuuzhan Vong battleships and fighters continue to fire at the enemies.*

D@MN YOU!!!!!!

*HDS calls out to the Mega-Shadow, waiting in hyperspace. The mighty ship drops out of hyperspace and fires an energy net 2700 by 2700 kilometers long at B2. As it does several thousand quad arrays fire at maximum rate at B3.*

*Shal'pek's mothership goes into hyperdrive and exits the area having absorbed WS9's attack with minimal effort from the shields. the remaining mothership opens fire on the megashadow with massive ion bursts and omega pattern particle sprays. 100 deathgliders are launched and proceed to cause havoc with everyones targeting systems by releasing gamma radiation to interfere with scannersand sensors.*

*the gamma radiation is absorbed by the bio-energy field of the Yuuzhan Vong ships. Several squadrons of Coral Skippers (fighters or "Skips") fly after the Shal'Pek's fighters, unloading on them. The other ships all keep shooting too.*

*B2 futiley attempts to defend agains the energy net, absorbing sections of it with dovin basals, but there is too much net and too little time. The remnents of the net slam into the massive battleship, ripping huge holes in it. The battle ship, mortaly wounded disgourges a few light gunships full of key personelle, including Supreme Overlord Schimrra, before it plunges into the burning atmosphere of Terrania. The Supreme Overlord's gunship enters hyperspace, leaving control of the fleet to Commander Shedao Shai.*

*B3 takes heavy damage from the massive barage from the Mega-Shadow's quad arays, but continues to fight.*

*A wing of Coral Skippers flies at the pyramid ship and projects many singularities into the shield, draining the shield of huge sums of energy. The Skips also release many grutchins, which land on the shield and start eating through.*

*The Mega-Shadow takes the hits from the goa'uld cannons with ease and ignores the mothership until it is finished with the Vong. The ship continues pour millions of quad array shots a second at B3.*