h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

No here A570953 is better!!

Yuuzhang Yong. I recommend the above link for you. Let it all out.

get out......
why

Why what?

i am confused........

Their problems go a lot deeper than all the psychatrists ever born can handle.

*The Ultra-Shadow begins to phase, but not entirly in time, the ventral wing is cliped by several blasts which do enough damage to drop the ship back out of hyperspace.*

*The Ultra-Shadow comes around, lines up on a strafing run, and fires several shots from the quad-arrays and a few sweeps from a Shadow Cutter.*

*The battleship absorbs many of the quad array shots with its dovin basels, and most of the Shadow cutter sweep, what they don't get picked up, does moderate damage to the yorik coral hull.*

We do NOT need your heretic psychology!!!!

*The fighters begin firing plasma cannon and volcano cannon shots at the Terrefirmia, the Starship Asgard, and Mystrunner's mech. Meanwhile, the battleship brings as many volcano cannons and plasma cannons to bear on the Ultra-Shadow as it can, firing all of them it can, creating a massive wall of energy and hot volcano shots*

*The Ultra-Shadow begins to manuver towards the edge of fire, strafing with quad array and cutter as it does, the leading edge of the Battleship's fire clips the Ultra-Shadow's aft sections, and tips it forward and down, sending several of the quad array shots stray, but still on target.*

*Craxus shouts at his men.*

SHIELDS!!!!!!!!

*The shields of the starship Asgard burst up into life around the massive battlecruiser.*

Load missile tubes 1-60, prep the goa'uld long range lances.

*The crew begins to move very quickly to obey there leaders orders.*

*The Fighters continue to fly straight at the Asgard (and the Terrifirmia and Mystrunner's mech) still pouring volcano cannon and plasma cannon fire at the forward sector of each ship's shields and/or armor. When they get close enough, they begin to fire grutchins, (which, when they land on shields and armor, begin to eat through). As the vollies of plasma and volcano fire continue, the grutchins get ever closer.*

*Meanwhile, the battleship continues to pour fire at the Ultra-Shadow, but takes some damage from the Ultra-Shadow's stray quad array shots.*

*shelds go up*
arming weponry......

Aim randomly, don't fire on the same spots, the more predictably you fire, the more easily they can block with those black holes!

*The Cutters and Quad Arrays begin to fire towards random points on the Battleship's hull, but at no less speed.*

*The Fighters are still firing at the ships, and their grutchins are almost upon the enemy's shields and armor.*

*Meanwhile, the Battleship is faring well against the Ultra-Shadow, but the speed with which it fires its weapons is taking its toll on the Dovin Basels, the ship begins to turn on its long axis, and brings fresh and rested Dovin Basels to face the enemy, but not before a stray quad array blast hits one of the plasma cannons in its ammunition sack, detonating it and causing damage across a 30 meter radouis.*

*Mystrunner flicks a switch on the controls, and the cockpit is suddenly filled with hundreds of coloured lines and dots, showing ships and their paths. Mystrunner kicks the throttle open to full, and hurtles into the fighter formation, spinning and twisting around in such a way that no ship seems to be able to stay locked on for too long. Mystrunner sweats, and begins to pour fire into the enemy fighters, friendly fire already taking its toll on the small fighters.*

*The Ultra-Shadow weaves through the fire, taking shots and pumping out its own, and eventually lines up on the 30 meter dent in the Battleship and starts pumping as many quad array shots and Cutter beams towards it as it can.*

*The fighters around Myst's mech only seem to kill each-other, but the Dovin Basels the fighters were using to try and slow the mech down, also absorbed the shots from the other fighters. The fighters pass by the mech, then close formation to the point of being almost touching, and strafe with plasma cannon and volcano shots.*

*Mean while, the Battleship swings as many of its Dovin Basels to bear on the Ultra-Shadow, attempting not only block the shots, but also to rip the shields away from the Ultra-Shadow. Some of the shots make it through and detonate on the hull, or cut a bit of the way through. The Battleship continuies to pour as much fire at the Ultra-Shadow as it can.*

*The Ultra-Shadow's sheilds suddenly fail, torn away by the mini-singularities of the Dovin Basels. The Vorlon/Shadow armor of the Ultra-Shadow works very hard to reflect the energy away and disipate it across the surface, respectively. The armor is beginning to wear away as the Ultra-Shadow manuvers as fast as it possibly can to get away from the point blank range it finds itself in.*

*The Ultra-Shadow swings away from the Battleship, firing as many guns as it can.*

His Divine Shadow: Lets use this ship the way it was designed to be used

Helmsman: Ayi, Ayi sir!

*The Ultra-Shadow swings back around, its shields restored, and begins a strafing run with very evasive manuvering thrown into the mix, all guns firing, all thrusters thrusting, the ship bobbing around at 99% speed of light.*

His Divine Shadow: Whooo Hooo!

*As the Ultra-Shadow nears the nose of the Battleship, it vears sharply to port, and flies sideways! Firing as many guns as it can, and still moving at 99 psl.*

This may sound rather fantastic, and it is, that's why its Science-Fiction. But if you watch Bab 5, you will note that both Centauri Vorchan Cruisers and Shadow Battlecrabs (which the Ultra-Shadow is a combination of) are insanely manuverable, and in one battle seen in the late fourth or early 5th season, you will see a Vorchan flying sideways, blowing an enemy ship up.

all weponry ready sir.......
exept the gun........

White Star 9 ready and waiting Sir she's been refitted with shadow technology (like Earthforce cruisers were at the end of S4) and upgraded Vorlon and Shadow weponry, spoiling for a fight and ready to kick Alien butt Sir

*Craxus looks over at his weapons officer.*

Status!

[weapons officer] Weapons at full power sir, missile tubes 1-60 is ready for launch.[/WO]

You may fire when ready.

[WO] Yes sir[/WO]

*The starship Asgard moves into an attack run. All forward torpedo's and missiles launch from the starship. In the mean time, all 7 of the long range blast lances fire continuous fire. Craxus also launches his fighters.*