h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[Yar] [who has been following Marshal] Here, lemme try some aggressive negotiation with my EG-7677.

[He reaches into his jacket and pulls out what appears to be a small handgun. He pulls the triger, and it automatically transforms into a large bazooka-ish thing. A sign on the side says, "EG-7677 High-Powered Destructive Weapon. WARNING! FOR USE ON STUBBORN METAL DOORS ONLY." He points it at the door and pushes a button on the side. A huge blast of purple energy erupts from the barrel and hits the door, and the back end of the EG-7677 explodes.]

*Realising he won't be on till after Christmas, Euan, having read the backlog, climbs out of the building through the debris of several large breaches of continuity*

Sorry guys, but will have to go now. Enjoy the rest of the fight and I'll hopefully see you in the New Year, or possibly (but unlikely) before.

Merry Christmas

*Briefly wakes up, yells in pain for a few seconds amongst the agony he manages to say to Euan*

Have a great Christmas

*lapses back in to unconciousness*

*Marshal stares at the Mechs and smiles.*
[Marshal] Now this could be fun. Yar, what would the Terranic government say if a Mercenary got at the helm of a Mk IV Timberwolf with Shoulder Mounted LRM 15 launchers and twin Particle Projection Cannons?
*Starts climbing up the ladder to the cockpit.*

Craxus clutchs his chest from being shot twice from Isard. Craxus realizing that he's on the verge of death, pulls out a mini gauss clip for his tribarrel handguns. He loads it up. Craxus then raises both the guns at Isard's personal shield and unloads 4 shots from each gun into it. You see the shield flicker from each shot then the shield itself is too damaged and shuts down. Craxus some how stands up and aims one of the guns at Isard's helmet and chest plating. Craxus fires a shot into Isard's chest and he still holds one of the handguns at Isard's helmet.*

Drop your weapons or prepare to die. I won't hesitate to fire.

[Yar] [dropping the remains of the EG-7677 and climbing into another mech] I think they'd react about the same way they did when my buddy Akira escaped from that maximum-security prison and then got back those titanium claw-gloves of his.

as Isard is in the hallway, you would be pointing guns at his back, just so yah know

*Isard check's the shield indicator and is astonished to see that had to shut down before the capacitor burned out. it will be a good 10 minutes before the capacitor has cooled enough for it to be usefull again. Isard hooks the GBG back onto his backpack and slides the Desert Eagle back into it's low thigh holster. He puts his hands in the air, but doesn't turn to face Craxus. Instead he pre-programs a flight plan through the hall way and around the nearest possible corner, and eventually to the mech hanger.*

You hippies will never win you know! if we have to nuke a hundred cities we'll put you s down.

*Isard now executes the flight plan, the repulsor and rockets on his backpack (it is Mandalorian armor after all, very much like Boba and Jango Fetts'). While he flies away he drops 1 smoke grenade and 1 High explosive/Incendiary grenade not more than 2 meters from Craxus. Because of the smoke and the rapid moving and juking and jinking of Isard there is little chance that a bullet will hit him, and if it does, hsi back armor is still fully intact, so he might very well live through it.*

*3 seconds after Isard begins his flight, there was a titanic explosion, that sprayed burning jellied gasolene for about 3 meters(and lets not forget the huge painfull shockwave). Isard's sensors would have told him whether Craxus survived or not, except that he wipped around the corner only a half second after the explosion and his sensors didn't have a chance to scan for life forms*

*in about 5 minutes, Isard will arrive in the Mech factory*

* MaW, right at the brink of death, lies on the floor while his life flashes before his eyes in tedious detail. One bit of it catches his attention, and he is reminded of an incident which occurred many years before in a mountain pass on a planet in a galaxy human astronomers haven't seen yet. Slowly and shakily, he pulls an ornate knife out of his boot, touches the blade to his lips, and stabs himself through the heart *

* he screams briefly *

* then he vanishes in a blaze of rather bright light *

*Whilst in his coma starts dreaming*

Terran : "Well Since we're so close to death we might as well have a good old sing song."

Derek the C & D Daemon : "Yup. Cheer up, Terran. You know what they say.
Some things in life are bad,
They can really make you mad.
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle,
Don't grumble, give a whistle!
And this'll help things turn out for the best...
And... "

*Craxus rolls over to avoide being hit by the gernade. He throws his cloak over his body to reinforce his back from the shockwave.*

Daedalus can you stop them from powering up their mechs please? Were dieing down here.

*Still in Terrans unconcious head*

Terran #1 : "You know its incredible the conversations you can have with yourself"

Terran #2 : "Yeah"

Terran #1 : "Yeah. Now were was I? Oh yes, anyway this how the gag goes - There were three nuns chatting in a bar... , or where there two"

Terran #2 : "I think there were two mate."

Terran #1 : "Oh yeah there were two anyway..."

Terran #3 : "I thought there was one"

Terran #1 : "Ok so there was... Hang on a minute, how can one nun have conversation with herself"

Terran #3 : "I don't know. Maybe she had three heads or something"

*Terran #1 gives Terran #3 a funny look and shakes his head*

Terran #1 : "You wally. Anyway there were two nuns chatting in a bar right."

Terran #2 : "Right"

Terran #1 : "And the first one said to the other 'How many popes does it take to change a light bulb'"

Terran #2 : "And?"

Terran #1 : "Well the second one thinks about this for a second, and wonders if maybe one pope could be holding the chair straight for the other. And she tells the first nun that."

Terran #2 : "But thats not the answer is it?"

Terran #1 : "No, because theres only one pope."

Terran #4 : "Thats the worst joke I ever heard!"

Terran #2 : "Its not that bad"

Terran #3 : "I don't get it"

Terran #1 : ""

*And a fight breaks out until there is only one Terran standing. But you wont find out which . In the mean time Terran has no idea of the fighting going on around him*

*Craxus reachs over and shakes Terran violently to wake him up. Craxus then cuts loose the bounds on his arms.*

*Comes around. Lobs rocket launcher in to other room where it explodes*

Are we still in this d*mned place! Where is Daedelus for heavens sake? Wheres MAW for that matter?

*Looks around*

*Remembers the pain in his arms. Uses his skills of mind over matter skills he learned in Anti-Interrogations classes. Battered and bruised tries to get up. The armour on his chest was just strong enough to keep most of the bullets out, though he is having trouble breathing*

Were in a bad way Craxus. How can we get out of this hell hole?

*Craxus thinks for a bit.*

There is one way... To the 2nd mech lab. The stupid hero's and gov't didnt check their schematics completely there are 2 production labs. There heading to the western one. Let's go to the eastern one.

Right, you lead the way.

*Follows Craxus, while breathing heavily*

*Craxus points to the end of the hallway.*

Let's grab our friends here.

*Points to the ground.*

Don't want to leave behind some people like we did last time.

*Craxus picks up the unconcious Jade and swings her over his shoulder. Craxus going slow from his wounds begins to lead Terran down the hall to Mech Lab 2.*

*The lights flicker on the mechs as Daedalus deactivates them before they can escape their holdings. Power shuts down even further, as the lights flicker off in the whole room.*

Sorry, but I was unable to get on for a bit. BTW, sheilds haven't been discovered yet, so don't use them, please. Thanks. And the rest of the labs will contain only parts.

*Gasps a dieing breath*

Skullock why are you dieing?

In posting 132 I was shot rather painfully in the chest from a rather point blank range by a rather large gun.