(6*9)-((8-2)*2) = 42

Well, for those of you here to find out more about me, I'm completely and utterly mad although most of you knew that already. I'm also the most surreal of the researchers, finding "Being John Malkovich" to be a quite sensible story. I'm also the Muse of Writing, Keeper of Bizarre Statements, a Maths Editor for the h2g2 Maths Institute and a Judge with the h2g2 Kangeroo Court.

Lately, I have been finding myself an existance as the Zen Cook. I don't cook, which is I suppose part of the zen, but I do distribute zen wisdom through the Zen Cookbook and my posts around h2g2. I can be found with the Thingites and hovering around Dragonfly (it isn't stalking if its accidental!) in my normal self (yes, Joe aka Arnia IS my normal persona .) To people wondering what the core tenet of Zen Cookery is, Ommmmmmmmm!

To see your latest conversations please try this new widget from the Towers

The Swanny River Meet

Coming soon is the Swanny River meet as the southern answer to the Spring Onion. I'm one of the researchers helping to organise it for the 11th August starting at 2pm in Oxford. If you think you can come along, please check the page to find out more.

Places on h2g2 I haunt

The Municipal Park:
A place to cool down, play sports or take a stroll through the woods overlooking the beach from the clifftop view.

The Campaign to Rename Thursday "Thing": As a member of this worthy fight, I am often asked to develop new technology or find ways of exploiting old. Below is a list of those who risk their lives on my gadgets

The Proud Members of Clan Thingite:Clive the flying ostrich - Warlordacidbath - Grand VisierParrferris - Minister of Defence
(& Occasional Offence)Amy - High Priestess of ThingShea the Sarcastic - Captain of
the
Thingite GuardThe Gook - Sir Loin, Master at
ArmsBob - (Temporary) Commander
Thingite
Suicide SquadLady Elly - Assistant
GV/Commander
Amazon DivisionHappyDude - Camp FollowerInkwash - Speaker of the UnderpassSt. Redfish - Director: Thingite
Intelligence
Agency (TIS)Average Joe - Thingite Tactical
AdvisorÞing -
Guardian
of the Sacred ThornM'Alice - Keeper of the Sacred AleEkki Ekki Ekki - Chieftain of
Clan
McThingUncle Heavy - First GimplingJon Quixote - Official Suggestor
of
Good Ideas Acolyte Hezher - High Chocolater
PixieMinister of Occasional TablesHiram Abif - Imperial Architect
of
all Things ThingyTJ - Royal Protector of the
Thingite
WitEris - Resident DeityKatie of the Redheads - Donna and
Mother
Head of the Thingite MafiaSt Trin - Official operator
(Thingite
Legionaire)Mr.Mike - Thingite Sandwich MakerEvilRoy - Maestro of the Thingite
OrchestraE G Mel - The maker of small
electric
gadgetsQueen Alamsy - Thingite Guard of Smilies Ice - Thingite Neuro-Surgeon Yeliab - Thingite Engineer ABI (!!!)- Captain of Reconnaissance. Frankie Roberto - Thingite Propoganda Chief. Joe AKA Arnia - Head of R + D for the Thingite War Machine. Dastardly - Principle Dragoon of the Thingite Legions (Llamas Div.)

The h2g2 Kangeroo Court: Have an odd idea of justice? So do we! I'm a judge with the h2g2 courthouse. If you have any grievances, please plead your case

I am a member of the h2g2 Musicians Guild,
which is a virtual club for musicians, singers, composers, and other
music aficionados at h2g2.

Joanna's Doughnut Stall: The best doughnuts in the whole of cyberspace. Just ask for a metallic hydrogen cooled HUD on me. (Note: Do not ask for an S42, the abbreviation for, "Superbly sickly super star shaped Science Site Special, stomach soothing sanguine strawberries spaced shrewdly, safely showing several secretly seedless sultanas, shaken silently stimulating sublime sensations, seductively smooth sloe sauce smothered surface, stunning sherbet sprinkles, spectacular shortcake sensationally sliced, side salad served separately.")

H2G2 Waterworks and Beach: The ideal place to rest by all things wet.

The Gurus

The Gurus are a group set up by h2g2 to answer questions. We act as the first line of technical support for the site. We don't just answer questions of a technical nature though, we also deal with design questions, editorial questions and more.

I specialise in design questions, feature requests and bug reports. Click on the links to ask me a question on these areas.

Muses

The Muses are here to inspire you at your daily tasks. Visit them at the Musehome to get a inspiration granted.

Contacting me

Email: [email protected]

ICQ: 10446635

The H2G2 Mathematical Institute

I am a founder member of the h2g2 mathematical institute. This aims to make maths more interesting for the layperson.

• Numbers and Logic: An introduction to basic number theory and some of the more common logical tools used in mathematics.
• Great Mathematicians: Biographies of the most influential mathematical minds of the past 3000 years, warts and all. After reading some of these tales, your impression of mathematics may never be the same.
• Algebra: Methods and tools used in algebra. Introduces key concepts of symbolic manipulation. Substitution, rearrangement, simultaneous equations, polynomials and more.
• Introduction to Analysis: A logical discussion of differentiation, limits, integration, standard results and examples of use.

This is only a small section of my larger plan. If you want to take on one of these projects then bear in mind the following tips.

1. Keep it light. Just because it is logical, doesn't mean it should be boring. Add humour and anecdotes to make it interesting.
2. Describe the history. One of the best, and easiest, ways to make maths interesting is to describe the (sometimes checkered) history of a concept. It often makes a great story and image that fixes the idea in the reader's mind.
3. Give examples. Where it is possible, include examples with commentaries. Describe applications, give sample working. It often clarifies what you mean if you show the tools in use.
4. Give questions. Questions give interested readers the chance to try out what they have learnt and can give a lot of satisfaction. Include an answer page along with the article with working where appropriate so they can see how they did and what they did wrong.

The Darklands

Welcome to the Darklands, a loose collection of cities, towns and villages populated by the outcasts from the world above ground. Down below there is a land of perpetual gloom where the lichen provides an eternal twilight. A land of power struggles and despots occupying a thin area of space allowing the fearful planes to leak through.

The Darklands stretch for miles under many worlds, all batlling for control over this forsaken labirynth of caves and rivers and have become the home of those hated by those on the surface. One of the many worlds that has an entrance to this place is h2g2. A wall of rock in the caves provides a gate to the tunnels, but finding your way out is more difficult than you can imagine.

Watch out, because someone is watching you...

Who am I?

Researchers I spend far too much time around

Tinkerbell, Demon Drawer, Joanna, AGB, Uncle Heavy, Bob and the lovely Dragonfly are the main culprits *official glares and smiles* but the following also eat up my time (not that I am complaining of course ;-) ); Jake, Abi, Peta, Greebo T Cat, Monsy, Shazz, Pastey, Aendr and many more.