h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*pulls out his *
ATTACK!!!

I'm not taking orders from you, I'm Smeg!

Both sporks hit Werekitty's frying pan, she comes up with an underarm spork thrust

Watches as the captain crumples to the floor and realises it was maybe a bit too underarm....



whacks Ralph over the head with her frying pan

Now you've done it, you've REALLY done it!









*starts turning green and horrible and a mass of slavering fangs*


ROOOOOOOOOAAAAAARRRRRR

.....

*Evolves back to a llama*
I HATE it when they make me do that, it gives me a headache.

Ok, Ok, you've shown us all who's boss

*Rimmer has passed out again, just because there was nothing else to do*

Ah battling with kitchen cutlery , just like it was in the gold old days before people strated coming in here with modern fangled assault weaponery.

*Pulls out the old trusty blood stained apple corer and leaps into the fray*

*closes door leading to fray*
There, that's the last we'll see of him!

*hears muffled screaming inside the fray*

are you sure it's safe in there?

*attacks everyone randomly with a hand whisk*

*draws a potatoe pealer*
Who cares!

*werekitty brings her whisk down onto the peeler, and the two become inextricable tangled. She tugs, pointlessly.*

*hits Werekitty over the head with aforementioned ladle*

*goes cross eyed, runs in circles for a few minutes. Then attaches the frying pan to her tail, and hold the and whisk with her hands/claws*

Prepare to face me NOW!

*Does a spinning kick which whirls her tail around to hit Ralph, then does a punch combo with the spork and whisk in hand*

You could have smiley for peace on earth:





Gettit? Its like dingbats! (if you've ever played dingbats)

*Corporal Tosh reappears dusting fray off his jacket, pulls out a tin opener and uses it open a can of Whiskas*

"Here Kitty, Kitty"

meow?

*is drawn inexplicably toward the catfood, before she has a chance to take on her full human form*

.....

*wakes up very confused and starts to hit sometihng he thinks is a giraff, but it is in fact, phoniex*

If anyone wants to give their condolensces to Simon, (aka Spook) then here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/classic/F76412?thread=238464 his mother recently died.