h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*spots a green feather in a jello's hat. A look of concern passes over the ant's face to be quickly replaced by a look of determination. She creeps forward and eventually reaches a stash of explosives suitably and traditionally stencilled with words like D Y N A M I T E*

*attaches a long piece of blue touch paper to some of the explosives at the bottom of the pile* retires to a safe distance*

Well, Bart, I think we're ready. I got fuses in these powder barrels here, so we can light them and roll them down on the posse. I wasn't sure how long to cut the fuses, so I got one long one and one short one. I figgur we'll try the long one first, then if it don't work, we'll try the short one. If neither work, we can just toss some sticks of dynamite from that case over there.

*lights the blue touch paper*

-----------------------------------------OOOO

*Sees smoke coming up from the pile of explosives and waves frantically from the other side of the pass*

Hi Bob

*waves back cherrfully*

*puts her claws over her ears*

-----------------------------------------OOOO

*Gets up from the rock that he is sitting on.*

Back in a minute, Bart.

*Walks over behind the pile of explosives to relieve himself. A stream of liquid heads in the general direction of the blue touch paper.*

Hey Bart! There's snakes up here! I can hear one hissing.

*Climbs up from down below just in time to hear Butch's last comment. Draws his gun for a little sport with the snake and walks over to where Butch is just zipping up his trousers.*

A snake, you say?


Not sure if the fuse is out here - it's up to you, Amy. Either way is fine with me.

*looks at the cloud of steam* removes claws from ears* watches the new, mean-looking jello carefully from her hiding place behind some rocks*



*as evening starts to fall, a bat arrives and gives a message to Amy* her eyes flash as she listens to the message* the bat flies off in the direction of the canyon*

*sits down relieved that the relieving brought relief*

Well, howdy, Jesse. I don't hear that snake anymore and I never did see it.

*Walks back to his lookout post. Squints.*

Well, if that ain't the gol-dangdest thing I ever did see! It looks like a herd of tumbleweeds!

Thinks: A herd of tumbleweeds? The jello must be losing his mind.

*Enters the pass and scans the ridges trying to spot the ambush.*

I hopes Jesse got ter warn em.

*Notices the preacher enter the pass. Taps Butch on the shoulder. Butch jumps, then rounds on Jesse with a scowl.*

Uh, Butch, I forgot to tell you. The preacher down there is coming back through the pass to negotiate with the posse. It's a mission from Jello and I said we'd let him through. So don't shoot at him.

You too, Bart.

*Makes obscure hand motions to Bob, trying to give him the same message.*

*Reluctantly listens to Jesse and glances at the preacher.*

Yeah, yeah, Jesse. But would you look at THAT!

*Points at the tumbleweeds.*

*Enters the southern-most reach of the pass and stops, waiting for his fellow tumbleweeds to catch up.*

*a huge pile of tumbleweed catching up*

*the mini mountain is close behind*

*a sudden eruption of wind comes from the middle of one of the tumbleweeds*

Ooops. More tea vicar ?