h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[X is just out of the line of vision of every single person there, Posse or Jello.]

/* Strikes a tumbleweed pose. */

@@@@
@@ <-- tumbles

*more tumbleweeds move into the pass*

*peers out through a gap in the tumbleweed*

Call me sceptical if you wish, but isn't a large conglomeration of slow moving tumbleweed something of a give away?

*A patch of tumbleweed sets a bowler hat shaped piece of tumbleweed on its head gratefully*
I'm sure if we are quiet, and reasonably tumblly we will be fine. I haven't noticed these ruffians being terribly bright so far. Unlike this damnable sun.

I don' feel no wind, but there's tumbleweeds blowin' in ter the other end a' the pass. Sure is a lot of'em. An' they's big.

*Continues towards the tumbleweeds.*

[Cut to a closeup of X raising his six-shooter, then cut back to the near-closeup of the Rev.]

*Looks around at the assembled tumbleweeds. Tries to count, but gives up as they all look the same to him. Assumes they are all there and turns back to the pass.*

Well, here goes!

*Kicks his horse into a gallop.*

*followed by a second bunch of tumbleweed*

Lookit them tumbleweeds kick up! It's a twister! 's gonna wipe out tha'posse afore I gets my hands on that manual an'rock! 's gonna come this here way an' wipe out me!

*Takes cover behind a boulder.*

*Bonnie picks up speed as Caer and Witty hang, neither able to see much of what's going on*

*Stands, open-mouthed, staring at the sight of huge clumps of tumbleweeds rolling through the pass. Scratches head.*

*Pierrot chooses this moment to reappear. He flys down and lands on GL's diguised shoulder.*

Pierrot: Awwwwwwk, can't fool me!

GL: Pierrot! Get out of here! You're giving us away.

Pierrot: Awwwwwk, I'd have to give you away - nobody would buy you.

*GL tries to shoo the bird away, but only succeeds in dislodging some of his disguise.*

Butch, look!

*Points at the tumbleweed with a bird riding on it and a plaid-shirted shoulder sticking out.*

Those ain't no tumbleweeds! It's that durn posse. And some of them are almost through!

*Starts shooting down into the pass at the tumbleweeds.*

*Hastily runs over to his prepared barrels of powder. Hesitates for a moment, then chooses the one with the longer fuse. Lights the fuse and starts the barrel rolling down the slope towards the trail. He grins as it approaches the road and rolls across between two tumbleweeds. His grin fades as it continues up the other side of the pass. As it continues to climb, he starts to look worried and shouts and waves at Bob, who hasn't noticed the barrel approaching.*

Darn-it! - - I-can't-see-a-thing.

*bounce-bounce-bouncing-in-time-with-Bonnie's-gallop*

*Signals to his troup and Apes open fire from behind rocks on both slopes of the pass.*

*Waves at Butch. Waves some more when Butch keeps waving. Looks where
Butch is pointing and sees barrel. Dives out of sight.*

*The barrel comes to a stop just below the far lip of the pass and then starts rolling down that side. It rolls all the way down, across the road then starts up Butch's side. Butch watches with horror as it approaches, then dives away from the edge. Jesse and Bart do the same.

Butch lies face down in the dirt with his hands over his ears. He waits. And waits. Nothing happens.

He gets up and cautiously looks over the edge of the pass. He quickly scans for the barrel and sees it nearing the top of the far side. As he is breathing a sigh of relief, he sees Bob's head appear over the far side.*

*breathing a sigh of relief Buckeroo Bob sticks his head over the precipice at the precise moment that the barrel of gunpowder reaches the top of the pass. To his horror he sees the last of the fuse burn down and ....... *

Dang !

*The far side of the pass disappears in a blinding explosion sending shards of rocks, stones and wood over a great distance. One flaming object sales back over the pass to land amidst Butch's store of explosives and another wet object sails across to land in Butch's lap*