h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Continues whipping the bull, keeping it enraged. Looks around as he comes in amongst the ranch buildings. Sees various posse members scattered about.*

Ah, so there you are! I've been trying to drive this bull at you for days. All over the pasture. Only managed to find one of you.

*Follows the bull around the Ranch house. Now, there is a gnu, followed by a bull, followed by Zello on horseback. All circling the ranch house.*

*feeling rather dizzy with circling animals making her head spin*

*raises head over the sill and takes a quick decko inside the Ranchhouse. But can't see much of anything as its rather dark inside*

*ducks down again*

*Sitting backwards on the gnu, staring straight at GL*

Get that thar bull outter my way! I kin't get a clean shot!

*Tries to fire into the ranch house, while the gnu starts frothing at the mouth*

*Tries to take the bull by the horns, but has little success in steering it. Shrugs at the Reverend.*

It's a bull, not a steer.

*holds crossbow over the window sill and looses a bolt or two with the vague possiblity of hitting something*



*the sound of breaking china is heard*

*The bull momentarily pricks up it's ears at the sound of breaking china. Thoughts of a glorious day last summer in a china shop dance through its head. A crack from a whip behind soon dispells such thoughts and refocusses his attention on his rage.*

*leans out of window in the barn, shouting towards the Ranchhouse*

Try twisting it's tail, GL - I once saw a man stop a camel that way, but be careful, it would probably stop very suddenly - I know the camel did, and I almost took a dive over its head!

*Witty is swept clean by the torrent of water from the shattered trough. She's just thinking how good it feels to have the jello slime and dirt off of her when GL gallops by on the bull. The accompanying cloud of dust deposits a healthy part of itself on Witty's wet skin and clothes.*

Dang it!

*With the trough gone, there is nothing between her and the ranch house. Witty keeps low and runs over to join Caer and X. She digs in the tote bag and pulls out a small bar shaped item.


Would you like a nutri-grain bar? It should tide you over 'til we can make a proper meal.

[X] I'll have some of it.

I have plenty in my bag, X. *Digs in the tote bag and hands a nutri-grain bar to X.*

They should all be coming around again shortly.

Thanks Witty, that has helped!

*rummages in pockets, finds a plastic box containing a Black Forest Gateau*

I'd forgotten about this, anyone want a slice whilst we are waiting for whatever happens next?


*holds crossbow over window sill, looses a couple more bolts, the sound of shattering glass follows*

*Comes round the front of the house again, striking GL with his bible*

Quit yer twistin' my gnu's tail, yer

*The gnu has a wild crazed look in its eyes.*

*The gnu, being faster than the bull, puts on a spurt of speed, nearly pulling GL over the head of the bull. GL releases his grip on its tail, however, and the gnu gallops ahead. It continues on at its faster pace and is soon out of GL's sight around the corner of the house. A few circuits later, the gnu catches up to Zello's horse.*

*Winds up to whip the bull again, then catches sight of the Gnu behind him. Momentarily distracted, his whip crack goes astray and the whip end wraps itself around a hitching post instead. Zello doesn't notice until he is jerked from his saddle when the whip goes taut. He lands on the ground with a thud (and a jiggle) and looks around bewildered.

Coming to his senses, he makes a dash for War Wagon.*

*Runs from window to window, trying to get a shot at Hardjello. Catches sight of his quarry through the window where Caer is firing her crossbow.*

Scuse me.

*Elbows Caer out of the way and fires his Gnu Gnerf Gun. Misses and runs to the next window for a shot. Fires again.*

I'LL GET YOU, HARDJELLO!

*Has a sudden idea. Runs to the back room where he had tethered his horse in case he needed to make a get away. Jumps on the horse and bursts through the back door, just after the bull, horse, and gnu go by. By the time he gets up to speed, the other group is about half a circuit ahead. Butch slaps his horse's rump and begins to slowly gain on the gnu.*

Well...that wasn't very gentlemanly! He could at least pretend he was a little bit scared of my crossbow!

I'm going to have get the Cardiff branch of the Celtic Ring sorted by the Taffia. They have definitely palmed a duff bow on to me. I knew I should I have gone to the Irish side of the family.

*all this is said in a mutter with her nose pressed into the ground*

That Hardjello fellow better look out. He's going to get trampled next time around.

I mean Zello, not Hardjello. Those jellos all look alike, don't they?

Especially when they are the same flavour of jello! I like raspberry best.