h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Caves? Are there caves somewhere?

Not surprising really, we are in a canyon. I still think we should see what is behind the ranch.

*s at the animal cavalcade*

*lands next to Caer*

I wouldn't have arrived in time for a cup of tea, would I? I'm sure there's a kitchen inside this ranchhouse. Is that a packet of custard creams?

[X] ... I dunno.

A quick cuppa would be nice, if the coast is clear. But perhaps we should go and find Lil.

Do you know of any caves here about, Amy?

*places a custard cream on the ground, for Amy*

*The bull, who had started to slow down now that the whipping had stopped, catches sight of a yellow dog ahead. A yellow dog that looks remarkably similar to one who chased him out in the pasture. Or maybe it was a black and white dog that had chased him. Then again, it could have been a seagull. But in any case, up ahead is something running away, which is a sure sign of guilt. The bull picks up his speed and darkens his attitude.*

*Meanwhile, GL has heard the magic words "Custard cremes" as he rides by standing on one foot on the saddle. The next time around the house, he is in the saddle and as he approaches the spectator's seats, he swings one leg over the saddle and jumps off of the moving horse. He hits the ground with his shoulder, rolls several times and ends up sitting beside Caer.*

Hi. Did you mention Custard Cremes? Is there tea to go with it?

Nice move GL! Have a biccie and I'll make a quick brew. It won't take long and my tongue is hanging out for a cuppa.

*passes the packet round, gets out the kettle, fills from water bottle, uses carmelising blow torch to bring it to the boil, warms the pot, pops in 3 Tetley tea bags, pours the now boiling water from the kettle on to the teabags*

Tea's ready!

*Hear's the "tea's ready" and looks down at the spectators, who he hadn't noticed before. On his next pass, he is twirling his lasso over his head and throws it towards the group. It lands neatly around the package of custard cremes and tightens. The package is jerked out of the specator's hands and disappears after Butch around the corner of the house.

On his next pass, Butch is eating a Custard Creme. He tosses the rest of the package back to the spectators and calls his thanks amid a shower of bisquit crumbs.

Butch now focusses his attention back on Hardjello. He twirls his lasso and throws it. The loop looks like it will drop right over Hardjello.*

*wanders around the ranchhouse while waiting for the kettle to boil*

Oh look, a safe! *pulls a footstool across to the safe* stands on the footstool* applies the ends of her antenna to the safe door and twiddles the dial with a look of intense concentration on her face*

*Catches the packet of biccies and takes one out for herself.*

You know, I'd pay real money to see this.

[X] I'll have one ... if there's anything left of them ...

*Passes the package to X, takes a mug out of her tote bag for .*

*click... click... clunk* the safe door springs open slightly* Amy hears the call for tea and jumps down from the footstool* goes to claim her share of the custard creams*

/* Zeppo hears something behind him and catches sight of the bull. The hair on his back stands on end, his tail goes between his legs, and he decides it is time to hide in the safest place he knows - in the middle of the posse. A moment later, he is sitting between Caerwynn, Witty Moniker, Garius Lupus, sniffing up the dropped crumbs. */






















/* The bull follows. */

*Pets Zeppo*

There, there, what's the matter, Zeppo?

*The thundering hooves that normally go by, instead seem to be getting closer. GL looks up, just in time to see one very sharp horn and one stumpy horn uncomfortably close and getting closer. GL dives out of the way.*

LOOK OUT!

*Caer s Zeppo and ducks, so that both are out of range of the horns*

*grabs half a custard creme (when they break the calories fall out, it's a well known fact) and somersaults out of the way*

*The bull heads straight for Witty. Frozen with her back to the wall, Witty quickly spins the selector dial on her nano-gun. She holds her arm out to the left and pulls the trigger.

A red flag on a stick unfurls and waves from the end of the gun. The bull's head turns slightly towards the flag and his body angles ever so slightly towards it.

Witty pulls the trigger again which ejects the stick from the barrel. The flag and stick take off.

Witty closes her eyes and hopes that the bull follows the flag.*

*from barn*

Olé - olé, Witty!

[X has also dodged to the side. Whee, the joys of not posting in time.]

*Witty's red flag sails across the yard and embeds itself in the barn door. The bull changes course and thunders towards the barn. He is followed by: Zello's horse, a gnu carrying Hardjello, Butch on horseback and another gnu.*