h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Butch marches in with Zero at gunpoint. He takes the key ring from the hook on the wall and unlocks the cell. He frisks Zero and removes anything that looks like a weapon. Then he shoves Zero into the cell and closes the door. He hangs up the keys on the hook.*

Hope you enjoy your stay. Ha ha ha.

*Affy steps in and sees no one on duty except a sleeping "deputy" jello. He walks over to the cell and looks in*


Zero! You're one of YK's guys, aren't you? What're you doing out in Peta Gulch? Look, something weird's going on. I wouldn't be surprised if there're some level-one governmental conspiracies going on. Any idea what your bail is? I could probably get you out of here if you knew.

[Zero] [whispering] Since when do I need bail money? [smirk]

[He warps out. Then he warps back in again, outside the cell.]

[Zero] [whispering] I was just following to give 'em a false sense of security. So, what do we do now? Should I go full armor and beamsaber?

/* Nose to ground, Zeppo sniffs his way into the jail, sniffs at Zero, decides that's not who he is looking for, and sniffs his way back out again. */

[Zero] .....

#approaching what looks to be a jail and wondering if she can sneak a look inside (maybe Lil's there!), spies a couple of familiar figures*

Zero! You're all right! Have you seen Zeppo? d'E's awfully worried. And cross. Is Lil in there? What's going on the town seems deserted... And is that Affy?

*spots what she thinks is movement from out the corner of her eye and is spooked. Doesn't wait for an answer - an occupational twitch in governesses...*

Anyway, never mind that... Best be getting back to the others... Coming?

*smoothly sets off for the edge of town, which is not quite where the trail starts, pausing to casually glance into the jail cell as she passes*

[Zero] Zeppo sniffed his way in, then sniffed his way out. No, Lil isn't here. Yes, that's Affy.

Wait, there're more of you people here? And you're looking for Lil?

*Several gears snap into place in Affy's mind. His jaw drops for about three seconds*

That wasn't a radio I heard! That really was Lil!

*Affy's watch beeps and he checks it. 320 out of 350*

C'mon, take me to the rest of the group. I think I know what's been going on now.

*Affy hoists his burlap sack back over his shoulder and prepares to follow Zero*

[Zero] [exiting the jail] ... Okay. Should I get into my armor for this? [randomly selects a number between 2 and 5 and picks 3]

*flies quietly into town, keeping to the shadows* spots the jailhouse*

Thinks: that's a possible place for them to put Lil.

*flies in through the barred window but finds no prisoners* notes the prints of a dog and Affy* finds some incredibly long blonde hairs*

*flies back out into the town and notices a lot of tracks going into and out of the Saloon* flits from building to building* spots three webjellos hidden as if expecting unwanted visitors*

*Affy looks into the sky*

That's Amy! Heh. Looks like those modifications I made to her DragonFlybot are working out pretty well. Anyway, Zero, take me to the rest of the group so we can pool info. I think I've figured out what's going on around here.

*red eyes glow excited*

Ant Lady flying! Food Lady kidnapped! Affi finding treasure! Robots using bullets! heh heh heh followed Affi out of mine.

Cowboys hiding in houses! *squeaks and jumps up and down with demonic pleasure*

Styx! How're you doing? Styx, you've gotta know something that we don't. You always seem to. Why don'tcha head back with us?

[Zero] That way. [points in a F90857?thread=187125&latest=1 direction] You go on ahead. I'm going to show up unexpectedly.

Thanks, Zero. Chat later!

[Zero waves goodbye, then warps away.]

*An Ape and an Indian run into the jail building. The Indian takes the key ring and unlocks the firearms cabinet. He takes out a rifle, loads it and tosses it to the Ape, who misses it and it clatters to the floor, then goes off.*

You catchum bullet next time, not gun.

*The Indian takes another rifle and loads it. He bars the door, then begins firing out the window, into the street.*

~whispers through door~

Joe - Joe - it's me Yeller. Let me in.

*the door opens*

*Joe opens the door and lets yeller in barricading the door shut once more*

Yellum ! I give offering to great spiirt to get help for poor Joe. Me think me only Jello left. Butch, Doc and The Big Green Chief flee west and Reb flee east. Mellow, Sunjello, LittleJoe and BigHoss are toast. Not good news !

Now. No one see you come here yes ? We wait until dark then sneak off to RRR yes ?