h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'll tell you what he's making, he's making a bloody row!
Anyway, if he wants to make weapons, why didn't he ask me? I'd gladly test them on him, er, I mean for him.

We seem to have strayed off the subject somewhat.

Yeah! that's about the best idea I've heard in a long time. I wouldn't even like children if they where my own- well maybe but they would probably drive me insane. few people understand that even though I am only nineteen I know absolutely that I do not want to have children- anyway I just wanted to share the fact that more people need to realise that children while ocassionally cute are essentially unnessecary to thier happiness as human beings and are pretty much worthless due to the sheer volume produced these days- I think supply far out ways competent demand (by this I refer to parents).

But they will grow up and look after you when you are in your dotage

Well, that's a fact. Oh look, a pig has just flown past my window!

Beware exploding sheep flying past your window. It will be the 1st sign of the end of the world I am reliably informed by Avator.

Not a good idea to invest heavily in shares in exploding sheep, then? How about if the sheep explode, then crash in flames on top of the children?
Next doors gone quiet, I think they've gone down to Cornwall to see the Eclipse. Fat chance!

In the Southern Hemispere there's nothing to see in an eclipse because the moon/sun is covered. Is it different in the NH?

A good chance to booby trap next door's backyard though.

Sorry, are you saying you don't get eclipses in the SH? Nope, they are still there, well the cars are, but it's very quiet. Maybe they've eaten the kids...
How can I booby trap the garden, I'm out of exploding sheep?!!

I haven't read all of this and I won't but I just wanted to make more pretty patterns on the forum page. It's really quite nice.

Thankyou - kind of you to say so

Thank you. My friends know me for my sarcasm, but it's always spontaneous. i can't make it up on demand usually.

And there was me thinking females can make anything up on demand. Food, beds, the list is endless

exploding sheep? see peter jackson's movie bad taste for excellent example - yes the guy who's doing lotr, yes he did some good stuff before then on no budget

span

The demand has to be sweet, and males aren't that good at sweet...
Plus I'm a lousy cook.

.... which is why all the world's top chefs are male.

Well aren't you the polite one? It's because if we were top chefs it would give men an excuse to make us cook more.

"Cooking more" is the problem most female cooks suffer from.

I don't know how many times I have had to explain to females the simple fact "you do not boil vegetables until you burn the pot".

Really? I've only burned a pot once and I was about 14 at the time. My problem is that I'm jsut too lazy. I'd rather go out to eat any day, but I don't have that kind of money.

Princess Bride, you are in luck. I just happen to have a recipe ideal for poor starvelings.

First you catch some cockroaches -

Simmer cockroaches in vinegar. Then boil with butter, farina flour, pepper and salt to make a paste. Spread on buttered bread.

Yum

wow thanks what a great recipe.