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So Long, And Thanks For Laughing

Cheap And Simple Ways To Ward Off Burglars


The following are a few simple ways to keep burglars out of the
house by putting a few signs in well-placed locations.

  • Dear Mr. Butcher, starting tomorrow, please leave eight pounds of
    meat for Brutus. Six pounds only makes him angry and vicious!
  • Dear Mr. Postman, we found bloodstains all over our mail. They
    must be yours. The next time you put mail into our slot, please
    be sure to keep all parts of your body well clear of all
    P.S. - Any sign of that book we sent for, "The Care
    and Feeding of Wild Jungle Cats"?
  • Selma, don't come in! The boa constrictor got loose again...
  • Dear Mr. Exterminator, be very careful when you go inside! The
    termites have eaten through most of the floorboards and you will
    fall into the basement where all of the rats are!
  • To whom it may concern: Some of the items in this house have
    been engraved with Federal Identification Numbers. Others have
    merely been wired to explode when touched. Good luck...

So Long And Thanks For Laughing

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