h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Elementary my dear Ahmed, my friend Watson was a doctor

Where in the holy "ding dong" did all this conspiracy crap come from!

Don't you guys have better things to do than to invent a reality?

Isn't there enough reality out there for you?

Sorry...just a vent. I'm an old geezer who is so tired of you young whipper-snappers inventing scenarios that make you feel in control....or feel that someone is.......

I have no idea what a "wingding" is....and I have no desire to learn. Trust me...any combo of numbers and letters can be plugged into a given formula and produce whatever results you wish to produce. Remember those number puzzels back in primary school, where the instigator, given a set of numbers by you, could tell your age...weight and the name of your first spouse!!!?

Please, guys...stick to Kennedy and UFO's, ....at least they are semi-plausible!. Leave this conspiracy to the next generation.

LOOny...should I be concerened that there is some confusion about Mr. Watsons' profession?! Forgive me if I am, a bit!

NM

Aaah! Here we go dear Strange.

So what be the confusion with "My dear Watson's" line of work? Neer the read the book as such. Bad at things old and in "Queen's English". Though I cant help wishing we were back in those days relatively simple life. When a man was not what he flew!

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, the fire dwindling nearby, Holmes said: "Watson, look up and tell me what you see".

Watson said "I see a fantastic panorama of countless of stars".

Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"

Watson: "Astronomically, it suggests to me that if there are billions of other galaxies that have roughly similar stellar population densities as represented by my view, that, potentially, trillions of planets may be associated with such a galactic and, therefore, stellar population. Allowing for similar chemical distribution throughout the cosmos it may be reasonably implied that life-and possibly intelligent life-may well fill the universe.

Also, being a believer, theologically, it tells me that the vastness of space may be yet another suggestion of the greatness of God and that we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, the blackness of the sky and the crispness of the stellar images tells me that there is low humidity and stable air and therefore we are most likely to enjoy a beautiful day tomorrow.

Why? - What does it tell you, Mr. Holmes?"

Holmes: "Someone stole our tent".

ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Very GOOD LOOny!

NM

Heard it. Good to hear it again, though...

"The tune for our anthem is actually an old English drinking song"

Ah yes..."An Anacreon to Heaven", I think someone else mentioned that it was the anthem of the Anacreon Society, and a drinking song...

Thank you for clarifying the "madman" quote, Ahmed, and for the well timed bucket of water. For what it is worth, I do agree that the acts in the US weren't perpetrated by idiots. But I also wonder how hard it was for them? Internal airline security is notoriously lax, and Logan the worst of the lot.

I still can't get my head wrapped around how they got *four* planes though. I also wake up every day wondering if it is a bad dream. I can't quite believe that the blind hatred of a relative few could set the whole world teetering like this.

I got our copy of the Nation today and read my dear Ms. Katha Pollitt, I love almost every word that woman pens. Even Christopher Hitchens impressed me this time, and he usually turns me off as being *too* far left.

My husband and I can't even talk about the issue, he is so far left he is about to kiss Jerry Falwell's ass coming up on the right. And people thing *I* am a wingnut progressive. Ahmed, if you could spare a couple of moments to assure him that I am always right...?

The following was posted in my Goatee yarn's fora. I suspect the points raised apply to more than just chin hair.

My perspective is definitely Southern Californian. This is an important datum for cultural phenomena, and I am sorry I forgot to post it.

I have no perspective for the hitchhiker rest of the world, except when I was in Vancouver BC, Canada for the world's fair in 1986, they were still wearing early 1970's style feathered haircuts, and late 1970s clothing. My guesses on the rest of the US of A:

Northern California is of two minds: the hippie marijuana culture never really distinguished goatees from any other kind of self expression, and probably is too stoned to care if they are in or out of style, and the Silicon Valley nouveau riche, who are not really californians but opportunists from just about everywhere else, are much too uptight to actually be anything other than necktied and clean shaven.

The East Coast is already doing something different, simply because they like to think they are ahead of everything.

The Midwest is just considering wearing goatees.

I speculate wildly on the eastern South, never having lived there. Outside of Atlanta, probably still thinks that goatees are what Colonel Sanders, and quaint racists who pretend they are plantation owners wear. They'll start in a coupla years, and they will never really catch on with the s**t-kickin' Bubbas.

In the Southwest, and rural/desert areas of California, they are probably mark you strongly as a pocho, and so there would be a cultural and economic class divide thing going more stongly than anything gay.

Hi LÒÒny

I was living in Vancouver in '86. Those wearing early '70s style feathered haircuts and late '70s styles were probably undercover cops trying to blend in..

>>Holmes: "Someone stole our tent".<<

so that's where that beer ad got the joke from

though the aussie-dumbed-down-version? "we forgot to bring the tent"

So now let me get this right...

California is either nouveau riche, or potheads. The South is either made up of racists, backwards hicks, or Colonel Sanders wanna bees. The midwest is farther behind than the south. The East is completely full of themselves and the south is suffering from Hispanic Paranoia.

You know, with that screwed up view of my country it isn't hard to understand why you think so little of it....

Perium, most people outside the US get their view of your country by the television shows you export - don't blame us if that view is skewed as a result, rather blame the programme makers...

Perium, what you call a "screwed up view of your country" was written by one of your fellow Yanks. I guess your (and others) lack of comprehension of basic points like this could help explain some of the misconceptions about what non-Yanks think about Yanks and Yankeeland as posted in this forum.

Personally, instead of blaming the TV/movie makers, I would blame the stupendously underachieving US education system and its futile fight to turn out literate students.

Charlotte am advice by my lawyer/solicitor/(I wanted to say liar but she would kill me!),nay instructed NOT to interfere with any quarrel between "...a spouse and his/her spouse..."(Dont ask me what that means!) So am not about to get involved here, especially if asses are getting licked!
But this much I can say, that ladies have, and will always be right! Ehem... if you be a lady...... but you didnt hear it from me. I allegedly insinuated the same but if asked directly, I take the fifth me good lady !!

You know there are several theories about how they managed to get through, but moderation will probably wipe them off anyway. But despite the lax security, it does make you wonder doesnt it? Especially since the "ring-leader" had been arrested by Israel sometime back and released. he was very known!

But let me go back to my potatoes in bean soup! I mean thats what she said it was! care for some ??

(he walks in with his bucket, full to the rimless brim)

Now listen here , perium and LOOn, dont go at each others ding dongs. Perium follow the thoughtline and dont take everything as a personal affront. LOOn, you could have retorted nicely, kinda like W Churchill to that lady who claimed he was inebriated. remember that? can I store me bucket away now? Its kinda heavy to be hanging about with.

Four planes all at the same time? Charlotte that freaks doesnt it? And why are pilots "not safe" flying Arab-looking males now eh?

Loony

"stupendously underachieving US education system and its futile fight to turn out literate students"

Shame, Shame, Shame. You really like to kick someone when they are down don't you. Perhaps our foreign policy is directly related to how dumb we are... That then makes it ok to put US citizens in every crosshairs of every fanatic who want so revert to 13th century ISLAM, CHRISTIANITY etc. or who is against globalism.

But then maybe your perceptions of how ignorant we are is a good thing becasue in a competition, it is always better to be underestimated by a smug competitor...

PS I guess that explains why so many foreign nationals come to the US to study or whey the US has a abnormal amount of Nobel Prize winners. Since NZ has such a sterling educational system, how many winners are from NZ. Surely a small country produces an incredible number of winners or is it that being cynical country one does not even bother to try?

Kiwis are unassuming modest people so I will mention just three of our overachievers:

Ernest Rutherford, of splitting the atom fame, was probably the most famous Kiwi until Edmund Hillary became (with Tensing) the first person to successfully climb Mount Everest. One Kiwi whose achievements are often overlooked is William Pickering. He led the NASA team that achieved its goal of landing men on the moon.

And yes, last year a New Zealander won the Nobel prize for Chemistry.

Isn't that interesting ... Rutheford, Hillary, Pickering and MacDiarmid all had to leave NZ to either get higher education or achieve their greatness. Enquiring minds want to know why?

To Peet,

I find it funny, ( in the most sarcastic way I can express this ) that your view of Americans come from T.V. Just because we sell it to you doesn't mean it represents us as a nation. In any event, that is a double edged blade there, because you are buying it from us! Who then is in the wrong.

Loonytunes,

I find it interesting that (after re-reading) your post seemed to carry the impression that you wrote the words. What would make me think that you hadn't said them? My lack of "conception" surely hinges on your lack of clarity.

But that is just me being the product of an education system that produces illiterates I guess.

Incidentally, I still find you insistance on using Yankee and Yankeeland juvenile. Like name calling at recess on the playground. Your entitled to your opinion of course, but I wonder, does it have to be so openly ridiculous........

In any event I'll stop throwing stones in your window by calling you a Kiwi, if you'll entertain the idea of at least calling us Americans. Because I am begining to tire of being referred to as a Yankee. Yank is what happens when the lights go out, it isn't the name of a nation of people.