Children's View Of Religion
Created | Updated Mar 3, 2010
So Long And Thanks For Laughing |
What Is Butt Dust???
What, you ask, is 'Butt dust'? Read on and you'll discover the joy in it! These have to be original and genuine. No adult is this creative!
JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: 'The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.' Concerned, James asked: 'What happened to the flea?'
3-year-old Reese: 'Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name. Forgive us our trash baskets As we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.' Amen.'
A little boy was overheard praying: 'Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am.'
After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, 'That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys.'
A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they
Were on the way to church service, 'And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?'
One bright little girl replied, 'Because people are sleeping.'
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, and Ryan 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. 'If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.' Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, 'Ryan, you be Jesus'
A father was at the beach with his children When the four-year-old son ran up to him,
Grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand.
'Daddy, what happened to him?' the son asked.
'He died and went to Heaven,' the Dad replied.
The boy thought a moment and then said, 'Did God throw him back down?'
A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, 'Would you like to say the blessing?'
'I wouldn't know what to say,' the girl replied. 'Just say what you hear Mummy say,' she answered. The daughter bowed her head and said,
'Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?'
This particular Sunday sermon...'Dear Lord,' the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. 'Without you, we are but dust...' He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, 'Mum, what is butt dust?'
Jokes
A little girl walked to and from school daily. Though the weather that morning was questionable and clouds were forming, she made her daily trek to the elementary school.
As the afternoon progressed, the winds whipped up, along with lightning.
The mother of the little girl felt concerned that her daughter would be frightened as she walked home from school and she feared the electrical storm might harm her child.
Full of concern, the mother quickly got into her car and drove along the route to her child's school. As she did, she saw her little girl walking along.
At each flash of lightning, the child would stop, look up, and smile. Another and another flash of lighting followed quickly and with each, the little girl would look at the streak of light and smile.
When the mother's car drew up beside the child, she lowered the window and called to her 'What are you doing?'
The child answered, 'I am trying to look pretty because God keeps taking my picture.'
A mum was concerned about her kindergarten son walking to school. He didn't want his mother to walk with him. She wanted to give him the feeling that he had some independence but yet know that he was safe. So she had an idea of how to handle it. She asked a neighbour if she would please follow him to school in the mornings, staying at a distance, so he probably wouldn't notice her. She said that since she was up early with her toddler anyway, it would be a good way for them to get some exercise as well, so her neighbour agreed
The next school day, the neighbour and her little girl set out following behind Timmy as he walked to school with another girl he knew. She did this for the whole week. As the two friends walked and chatted, kicking stones and twigs, Timmy's little friend noticed the same lady was following them as she seemed to do every day all week. Finally she said to Timmy, 'Have you noticed that lady following us to school all week? Do you know her?'
Timmy nonchalantly replied, 'Yeah, I know who she is.That's just Shirley Goodnest,' Timmy replied, 'and her daughter Marcy.'
'Shirley Goodnest? Who is she and why is she following us?
'Well,' Timmy explained, 'every night my Mum makes me say the 23rd Psalm with my prayers, 'cos she worries about me so much. And in the Psalm, it says, 'Shirley Goodnest and Marcy shall follow me all the days of my life', so I guess I'll just have to get used to it.'
So Long And Thanks For Laughing |