Children's View Of The World

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Science Mistakes From Children

A teacher and a childThese are from test papers and essays submitted to science and health teachers by junior high, high school, and college students around the world. It is truly astonishing what weird science our young scholars can create under the pressures of time and grades.
  • "When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breath, you expire."

  • "H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water"

  • "To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube"

  • "When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide"

  • "Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state"

  • "Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."

  • "Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars."

  • "Blood flows down one leg and up the other."

  • "Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration."

  • "The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader."

  • "Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire."

  • "A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold."

  • "The body consists of three parts- the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowls, of which there are five - a, e, i, o, and u."

  • "The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects."

  • "The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have ben taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to."

  • "A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors."

  • "The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight."

  • "A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is."

  • "Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa."

  • "Germinate: To become a naturalized German."

  • "Liter: A nest of young puppies."

  • "Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat."

  • "Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away."

  • "Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky."

  • "Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot."

  • "Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives."

  • "Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative."

  • "To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose."

  • "For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then the body until the heart stops."

  • "For dog bite: put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it."

  • "For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead."
  • A child actor
    "For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat."

  • The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top, and you sit on the bottom.

  • It is so hot in some places that people there have to live in other places.

  • Mushrooms always grow in damp places which is why they look like umbrellas.

  • The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.

  • The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana.

  • Thunder is a rich source of loudness.

  • Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun, but I never have been able to make out the numbers.

  • One of the main causes of dust is DIRT.

  • To keep milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow.

  • Genetics explains why you look like your father, and if you don't, why you should.

  • You can listen to thunder and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind.

Kids Advice

A group of children all engrossed in learning different stuff around a table
  • Never trust a dog to watch your food. - Patrick, age 10

  • When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him. - Michael, 14

  • Never tell your mum her diet's not working. - Michael, 14

  • Stay away from prunes. - Randy, 9

  • Never pee on an electric fence. - Robert, 13

  • Don't squat with your spurs on. - Noronha, 13

  • Don't pull dad's finger when he tells you to. - Emily, 10

  • When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair. - Taylia, 11

  • Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment. - Traci, 14

  • Don't sneeze in front of mum when you're eating crackers. - Mitchell, 12

  • Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac. - Andrew, 9

  • Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time. - Kyoyo, 9

  • You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. - Armir, 9

  • Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. - Kellie, 11

  • If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse. - Naomi, 15

  • Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick. - Lauren, 9

  • Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat. - Joel, 10

  • When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone. - Alyesha, 13

  • Never try to baptize a cat. - Eileen, 8

Kids On Science

The beguiling ideas about science quoted here were gleaned from essays, exams, and classroom discussions. Most were from 5th and 6th graders. They illustrate Mark Twain's contention that the 'most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.'
  • Question:What is one horsepower?

    Answer:One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second.

  • Talc is found on rocks and on babies.

  • The law of gravity says no fair jumping up without coming back down.

  • When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.

  • When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy.

    When planets do it we say they are orbiting.

  • Rainbows are just to look at, not to really understand.

  • While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it is really only centrificating.

  • Someday we may discover how to make magnets that can point in any direction.

  • South America has cold summers and hot winters, but somehow they still manage.

  • Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime.

  • Water freezes at 32 degrees and boils at 212 degrees. There are 180 degrees between freezing and boiling because there are 180 degrees between north and south.

  • A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.

  • There are 26 vitamins in all, but some of the letters are yet to be discovered. Finding them all means living forever.

  • There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of the Earth because of so much population stomping around up there these days.
  • A rocket blasting off
    Lime is a green-tasting rock.

  • Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils while others preferred to be oil.

  • Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there.

  • Some oxygen molecules help fires burn while others help make water, so sometimes it's brother against brother.

  • We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.

  • To most people solutions mean finding the answers. But to chemists solutions are things that are still all mixed up.

  • In looking at a drop of water under a microscope, we find there are twice as many H's as O's.

  • Clouds are high flying fogs.

  • I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.

  • Clouds just keep circling the earth around and around. And around. There is not much else to do.

  • Water vapor gets together in a cloud. When it is big enough to be
    called a drop, it does.

    Humidity is the experience of looking for air and finding water.

  • We keep track of the humidity in the air so we won't drown when we breathe.

  • Rain is often known as soft water, oppositely known as hail.

  • Rain is saved up in cloud banks.

  • In some rocks you can find the fossil footprints of fishes.

  • Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dogs tongue will kill the strongest man.

  • A blizzard is when it snows sideways.

  • A hurricane is a breeze of a bigly size.

  • A monsoon is a French gentleman.

  • Thunder is a rich source of loudness.

  • Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound.

  • The wind is like the air, only pushier.

Proverbs As Told By Children

A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs.

She gave each kid in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest. These are great:
  • As you shall make your bed so shall you... mess it up.

  • Better to be safe than... punch a 5th grader.

  • Strike while the... bug is close.

  • It's always darkest before... daylight savings time.

  • Never underestimate the power of... termites.

  • You can lead a horse to water but... how?

  • Don't bite the hand that... looks dirty.

  • No news is... impossible.

  • A miss is as good as a... Mr.

  • You can't teach an old dog new... math.

  • If you lie down with the dogs, you'll... stink in the morning.

  • Love all, trust... me.

  • The pen is mightier than the... pigs.

  • An idle mind is... the best way to relax.

  • Where there's smoke, there's... pollution.

  • Happy the bride who... gets all the presents!

  • A penny saved is... not much.

  • Two's company, three's... the Musketeers.

  • Don't put off tomorrow what... you put on to go to bed.

  • Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and... you have to blow your nose.

  • None are so blind as... Helen Keller.

  • Children should be seen and not... spanked or grounded.

  • If at first you don't succeed... get new batteries.

  • You get out of something what you... see pictured on the box.

  • When the blind leadeth the blind... get out of the way.

  • There is no fool like... Aunt Eddie.
So Long And Thanks For Laughing

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