h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Sol was just geting her mecha beack under control and preparing to go after the Dervish again, when GDZ's reappearance and weapon offload covers her in bird netting. Her mecha takes a few steps forward, gets thoroughly entangled and falls gracelessly over. There is a big splash.

This causes the torpedo heading towards her to utterly miss, however. It detonates against the side of the stadium close to where the KL is standing. Sol thinks. She's a bit preoccupid spitting out water and trying to stand up in the now sideways and waist deep flood.

Incidently, on her way down she knocked a lever. A small comb spronged out of the mech and landed near Corrupt. Who is now surrounded by a small forest. Birch trees.*

Oooh...

*Corrupt's hair dies down to a more manageable level. She collapses the staff to a wand-sized contraption and climbs one of the trees.*

The view from here is lovely.

*She idly lobs a small fireball at each player on the field, whistling contentedly. A little bird lands on her shoulder, and she grins warmly at it.*

I could almost take a nap up here...

*inter's hull dents under the rapid bullet fire, it trabsforms back into mecha form and, after a hiss of escaping air, sinks to the bottom of the water. it then points it's remaining laser blaster at rays mecha and begins firing*

*all the activity in the water causes a rogue wave to hit a corner of the vendor's box. A port hole opens and out pours a plague of locusts, thousands upon thousands of clacky insects*

*the locusts swirl in a dense cloud as if surveying the field, then head for the birch forest and settle on the trees, consuming everything green*

Oh no! There go my profits.

Get your samosas here! Nathan's genuine hot dogs here! French fries! Popcorn! Eight varieties of potato chips! Soft pretzels with mustard!

Fried locusts is off.

This post has been removed.

Whoops, wasn't quite done.


[The blade then breaks off from all the abuse it's been recieving, and the next shot causes his mecha to shudder.] AUGH!

Oh what the heck. Rough approximation:

[Ray blocks the laser-blasts with his mecha's blade-arm, and lets out an irate yell as Corrupt's fireball hits his mecha.]

[Ray] ... oh for ... Hey, chief, we're in this for three days, right?

(wow, sure am glad to be underwater with all this going on )

*inters mecha holds it's arms out and begins rotating rapidly, cusing the water to whirl around it and up into the air, taking the other mechas with it*

hehehe, im so cool

*the vendor activates jets and gains altitude then backs away until she feels her feet back on the stairs*

*lifting the lid and ferkling around inside the box, the vendor pulls out a small manual titled YOUR HOMING LOCUSTS, lets the lid fall, and begins reading while waiting for customers*

*The sad remains of the forest (and possibly the locusts) are consumed by the Mother of All Fireballs, slowly and devastatingly making its way across the Stadium.*

*sensing the heat, about a third of the locusts take advantage of the thermals and rise above the fireball*

*as for the others, the fragrant and irresistible aroma of fried locusts pervades the air*

*seeing the fireball, the vendor's eyes widen and she jets quickly backward up the stairs, ready to duck into a pedestrian tunnel if the fireball reaches that far*

'Ere! I hope you're going to pay for those locusts! They're top quality gourmet locusts, innit!

*The Krylma Leader, now completely covered in netting, is incapable of leaving his current place in the stands to pursue the vendor. He may experience slight scorching from the fireball that the vendor avoided. He rapidly tries ripping at the netting as fast as his claws and teeth and sword can muster*

KL-Curses, curses, death and drek!

*Meanwhile, the Whirling Dervish of Cresh realizes another potential venue for product destruction, and ambles over to one of the many (still present) machines that was used in the quick construction: a CLI hover-truck designed for the deployment of CLI Patented Ultra-Fast Drying Cement(tm). The Colossus-sized dervish folds one of its blades into a hand and stops the constant spinning of the four arms so that it can pick up the truck. It then ambles over to the flooded quarter of the field, and begins emptying the cement into it, a tactic that should cause massive damage to the flooding systems of the stadium's environmental control (not to mention the mechs in the water)*

*with a blast of laser at the floor, inter's mecha rockets out of the water, the damage to the floor causes all the water to drain out into the lower levels of the stadium. inter's mecha hangs in the air on a comically tiny proppeler coming out of its head*

alright, im cool sometimes, other times i'm efficient!

[Ray glares at the oncoming cement.]

[Ray] That's it! Time to break out the Super Mode!

[He climbs out and stands on top of his mecha, drawing his sword. Accompanied by a heavy metal soundtrack, a shadowy aura surrounds him and then the whole mecha, which then rises out of the water more easily. The aura also momentarily forms wings behind him.]

[Ray] [with a demonic edge to his voice] By the power of the Not-Quite-So-Legendary Demon-Blade, SHADOW SECANT!

[The aura recedes so that it merely makes him look extra-shadowy and evil, and then he notices the draining water.]

[Ray] Oh why do I even BOTHER.

[He points his sword, shadowy energies filling the cockpit. The mecha swings around, much more quickly than it was designed to do so, and switches back to cannon-mode, lobbing several fireballs at interspark. He then points his sword at the Whirling Dervish of Cresh, and the mecha swings around with an unpleasant groan, firing several more fireballs. He has a crazed look in his eyes, and this "super mode" is clearly running him and his mecha ragged.]

*Decides that sitting in a defenseless mecha is a bad idea. Dismounts and makes his way through the water towards the area where Lil is selling her wares.*

*starts jabbibg controls in a panick*

aaaaah! i cant manouver in flight mode!!!

*the mecha takes the full blow of the fireballs, which destroy its proppeler and one of its arms. inter's mecha falls out of the sky like a rock*

..... well, anything you can do....

*stands on top of his mecha and transforms into his lightning form, the mecha becomes shrouded in crackling electricity and its eyes glow yellow, it stands up and launches a ounch at ray whith more speed than physically possible for something of its size*

*The Whirling Dervish of Cresh, deciding that it's damaged the pool system enough even though the cement didn't get into it, throws the cement truck aside (towards the stands), spins the hand back into a fourth blade, and resumres spinning in a Tazmanian Devil fashion (the cartoon one that can be a tornado, not the cute cuddly little ones that eat out of your hand)*

*Meanwhile, the Krylma Leader has finally extricated himself from the netting. He just barely manages to leap out of the path of the mother of all fireballs, landing on another, less fiery, section of the stands*

KL-This will...take some time to repair. At least I got out of that without*Cement Truck!*

[Ray's mecha's "warning, I am overheating and am about to explode" klaxons start to go off. He leaps off his mecha and onto the remains of the stands next to the cement truck, and points his sword at his own mecha ...]


Hmm ... lemme toss a coin here ... heads, he's too late and intespark hits, tails he shoves it away.

... Aahh! It escaped and rolled away! But it ended up on tails.


[... which hurtles towards the Whirling Dervish of Cresh at fantastic speeds. Whether it actually collides with it or not, it then explodes mightily.]

[Ray's shadowy aura fades, and he wobbles a bit as he re-sheathes his sword.]

[Ray] [sounding a bit like Yar Kramer, and a bit like Dark Helmet after they come out of Ludicrous Speed] I don't think I caused enough destruction there ...

[He faints.]

*realizes the cement truck is heading directly toward her*
*realizes the pedestrian tunnels via which she had intended to escape are now full of cement-infested waters*

*realizes her umbrella is still giving off wisps of smoke from its recent incineration and will provide no protection whatever*

*pulls a long thin plastic whistle out of the box and blows twice*

*Although no sound is audible to most of the entities present, the remaining locusts, still a considerable horde, immediately form a meaningful dense cloud and head toward the vendor on a course that will intercept the cement truck*