h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Inside the Centre a distant rumbling is heard. A squadron of Sopwith Pups flying overheard is seen to discharge several parachutists and a who float to the ground inside the compound. A Red Dog barks out some commands and the elite ACF Commando force scatters into the facility, breaking opens doors and seizing important Cat technology*

Heh heh heh heh heh ...... we`re back, and they didn`t expect us

*adjusts mask, starts popping anti-dog gadjets into her pocket*

Look over here Guys. The fools they left the plans for a feline version of our Robodogs out on this desk *shakes head in disbelief*

*locates files on anti-dog intelligence*

*leaves a collar with a on it--my new calling card *

Wow ! Very Apollo ...... gonna have to steal that idea.

Now somewhere round here should be the personnel files ......

*Spots bank of filing cabinets at the back of the office. Breaks locks off with trusty bayonet and starts to rifle through the folders*

Strike me just struck Gold. Here`s sea`s induction file, and Clelba, and Sgt Mushroom`s ...... the whole of the Cat House is here *gasp*

Lets have a look at the Sgt`s first ........... hey guess what - she`s only really a Corporal, masquerading as a Sgt. Well I`ll be blowed

Waa Hoooo ... *jumps up and down* I found it, I found it

*waves buff coloured folder in the air*

sea`s file - conclusive proof that sea is really a 6' 6" 300lb lumberjack called Frank who lives by himself in a log cabin in Montana. I just knew it - the S*T*A*T*S rumour was right all along.

Hey! Let me see that.

*Takes folder from Red Dog. Reads it carefully. Sighs.*

Red Dog, it doesn't say that at all.

It says she is 297 pounds, not 300. Geez!

*Wanders around the facility, poking his nose into various nooks and crannies. Idly wonders what a cranny is.*

* a cranky granny?*
OOoo! Sea lost 3 pounds! That diet really worked!
I heard the garlic and onions diet was good for shedding pounds, but I figured with breath like that, I'd be losing more friends than weight...

*wanders in, carring a cup of and a piece of paper. She obviously hasn't noticed the dogs*

*putting the on a desk, she opens a cabinet and puts the paper in*

*she picks up her and wanders out*

*suddenly, her head appears around the door*

What are you lot doing in here?

*quickly jumps behind the file-cabinet, pulling Red Dog with him*

*whispers* I don't think she saw us...

*watches Ex-R and BBW, keeps an eye on the paper*

*wanders into room. Shuts door*

I really don't think you should be in here

*raches towards red button mounted on wall*

[A shadow appears on the ground next to Red Dog, and Cat Clipboard ries up out of it. Cat Clipboard lens over to Red Dog and says, "So, did you finad anything good?"]

*Grabs Red Dog and dives into shadow*

O, I'm just dropping off a bascket of goodies...

*Rumages around frantically in her pocket. A secret File falls out. Kicks it under the desk.*

Heh, Heh, I seem to have misplaced the basket...

*abseils in. lands on SM*

*falls to floor. thrown through ex-, the mug smashing on the floor*

*struggles to get UH off her*

Ooh, now you've made me angry. I really like my

does any one know where I jumped to? Did clipboard come from another forum somewhere?
also, the reason I'm dragging Red Dog around (and why he isn't responding) is because he is gone for a few weeks

[Cat Clipboard] :

Those shadows are meant for people to sink into them and be sent to the place of my choice as an attack, but I never expected for you to jsut dive in, so I hadn't set any coordinates... Anywhere you feel like giong?

surprise me

I'm not sure where to send you... Oh, I've got it!

[A second shadow appears at : http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A618257
(the two are connected, of course)]