h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi everybody, I just thought I'd look and see what this battle's like, since the Evil Army guys were going on and on about it in our invasion thread...
Really nice tactic you had there in the beginning, Red Dog!

Don't worry, we won't be attacking you, I think, we had some sort of a vote and there were some people against, though they could of course change their mind and come here to spread some insanity. Like TB said, we're rather good at wreaking havock - my personal expertise is what some refer to as "godmoding" and I refer to as "spotting when the battle goes too ordinary and doing weird things in order to get it silly again".
And folk songs too.

Anyway, I'm off now, you guys have a nice day, and don't stay out too late, the nights are still a bit chilly!

*blows a kiss in the air, tosses her scarf in a dramatic way, and disappears*

*Comes out of the back room, munching pizza*

Wow. Bovines and cats...since when were they ever a match for a dog?

*waves at their retreating a**es * Look at em go.

I can't believe they fell for it.

*Looks around to give the ghost a high five, but she's busy puttering around with the "big gun looing thingies".* Um..mom, save that huge one for me.

Better watch her, Red Dog. I hate it when Mom gets ahold of weapons of mass destruction.

Makes you wonder whether the day will ever dawn when we see REAL opposition....** Stepping from behind a reflection**

Neatly done, RD. Of course there`ll be the usual disclaimers, but WE know, and that`s all that matters..

erm, would you care to point that thing the other way?

Hay, I can see teh golf course from here!

*accidently pushes a button...*

*Fire erupts and a huge projectile shoots out of some kind of a barrel...*

Oopsie!

The full fury of the swarm bears down upon the dogs...
[Hunter Killer]
Thhe swahhhrm hahhhs ahhhrihhhved...

[Among it forces is the re-encarnated Death Bringer, an assemilated archon, several ultralisks, hydralisks, lurkers, hoards of zergling, a coule of defilers, the swarm is so thick in the air that it turns day into night. The *lone* arbituar retreats back behind the lines and a huge fleet of Protoss units *materialize*, or really they uncloak due to the arbituar's cloaking feild, amoung these is three fleets of carriers, each containing a total of 98 intercepter for a grand total of 288 intercepters, a large number of scout ships, some obsevers, which are always cloaked and can detect hidden beings, some cosairs, and several shuttles transporting units. These shuttles unload revealing the ground forces consisting of archons, dark archons, thousands of zelots(much stronger than the zergling), several high templar, a few dark templar (who, like the observer, are always cloaked ), some dragoons, and a few reavers...all in all a very formidible force when combined.]

[in an awsome show of force that rocks the entire battlefeild, Death Bringer, who is in charge of my Protoss forces, blows a whole through the wall of the dog house.]

Hmmm interesting ...... they're now shooting at one of the Holographic projections of the Dog House. Now don't anyone tell them of the real location will you

By the way I just thought you all should know that the sandwich that Draco ate had a little something "extra" in it . He'll be hopping mad when he finds out. The patented ACF formula psycho-control drug will have kicked in now and he faces the unpleasant prospect of a lifetime under our control or a withdrawl of the Evil Forces.



It's so nice to be back in business everyone, there has never been the like of us remember that even the cat fiends likened us to "an Imperial War Machine" F73287?thread=20

To TB and Lady Pennyhistle of the MotMV thank you for the compliments on our game plan and for popping by - unlike the last set of visitors in your case it was a genuine pleasure to see you here and you are always welcome. May I offer you the prospect of some high level discussions about future cooperative activities ?

Now can someone keep sea quiet in the cells for me please - that catwailing is really irritating ?

*Comes up from the dungeon, where he has been "attending" the prisoner.*

Well, I gotta hand it to you Red Dog. Never thought anyone would fall for that trick.

And the new holographic dog houses seem to be working too. Of course, coupling the holograpic dog houses with the mobile, semi-submersible, quasi-edible real dog house means that it's almost impossible to tell which dog house is the real one. Which, er, explains why I'm a bit late.

Oh, so THAT`S where I`ve been!!!
Good, Innit ?

Unfortunatly for you and draco... I command the evil army. Me.
Revenge is sweet and so are funnel cakes, with sugar, and cake.

Anyway: you can't control a dragon without very strong magic and unfortunatly for you you can't control the Supreme Dragon Lord. He's the most powerful dragon and proof against your schemes.

He also said the sandwich was a wee bit dry.

Before I forget: the acronym portion of the evil army appears: Lardwarriors and evilminions. And FFSTs (flying flaming septic tanks)

*EvilClaw waves an arm and blows a hole in the real doghouse wall*
I know where it is.

Set random dog on fire. I don't apreciate certain substances of an illicit nature on the premises.

You're puny attempt to control me has-

must... obey... dogs... no ... matter ... what (que?)...

*Picks up Evilclaw and swallows him*
*Kills hunter killer*
*destroys armies*





FOOOLED YOU!!
If you believe that i have some swampland in florida to sell you... or panama...

NOne of the above happened!

Lord Draco!

Well Hello and welcome back to the Dog House Evil people. I see we're going have to spell things out for you a little more clearly aboutthe situation you're in.

It took us a day or so to formulate our strategy against you hence the delay in responding to your original incursion. Frankly we're not in an aggressive phase at the moment as we consider ourselves to be locked in an aeon long perpetual struggle with only one kind of creature .... the thing known as a C-A-T

*shudders*

As you'll know we achieved total battlefield dominance over them some time ago and they are no longer able to field forces of any capability. As a consequence we are in purely defensive mode although on occasion we do have to bring the old "Imperial War Machine" out of mothballs as you just witnessed.

We were rather hoping you'd take the fact that you were the victims of a top-dog scheme and seriously outmanouvered in good humour and with the fun spirit with which it was meant and catch on to the underlying metaphor to quote a Vogon I once knew .

Now you haven't taken the hint and have blown another hole in another dummy holographic Dog House .... now these are rather expensive to maintain and we'd really rather you didn't do that anymore - it's a frightful bother when all we want to do is to watch re-runs of that super film Cats vs Dogs. We particularly like the scene where Mr Tinkles gets what he deserves

So, we had a little confab with the Lads and we think it'll be best for all if you could call back in a few years when you have a greater offensive capability than that which you enjoy at the moment. Trust you understand the decision - it really is best for us all and we sincerely hope you won't be too disappointed.

So we'll be saying goodbye and wishing you all the very best in your future endeavours. Cheerio !

*nods to Rambling who activates a powered spirit generator which has the effect of phasing the Dog House into another dimensional plane into which only the ACF and we mean only the ACF has access*

**No look, really, only the ACF. You can't get to it by any amount of Godmods. Due to being the wrong species. And changing yourself into a different shape, heck, altering your genetic code won't help. Cos it has the 'special*' imprints of all ACF members put a special 'puter which will zap you into outer space if you aren't a really an ACF member or lurker. Really. This is god-mod proof. Really. We mean it.*

*'Special' in this instance meaning, if you're not a member of the ACF, actually a member of the ACF, not a copy that is for all intents and puroses the same, actually a member of the ACF, you'll suffer the consequences.

Or you could always check out what's on the other side of the curiousitizer.**

I hope you enjoy it in there...

With a huge feedback of psyonic energy the powerful overmind seals the gap between this demension and the dementsion that the dog house has fled into...they are now stuck...

Overmind:
Via Hunter Killer

*more unhappy feline mewling from the dungeon in another dimension - yes, it's that loud!*

"attending" the prisoner, BBW? Pardon my dirty mind, but... I *DO* hope you all are keeping with the Geneva Convention...

Decides that at some point in time someone will break through the seel on the portal and that he will be ready for them...
He has a number of drones start morfing into the various zerg structures...

After a while...
One of the drones completes it's change into a hatchery, which begins to secrete a gel-like substance known as the creep...this substance is what gives the drones materials for the creation of more complex "buildings". As the creep advances the other drones start creating the definsive structures, which also secrete this creep, some of these colonies, the defensive structures, morph into sunken colonies, attack ground forces, while others morph into Spore colonies, attack air forces, next to the hatchery, which has begun it's mutation into a Lair, a Nydus canal opens up with a direct connection to the primary hive clusters

Once this canal opens up I will have near intantaneous transportation of zerg ground troop to and from the battle feild.

Several Infested Terran Command Centers are aproaching


On the other side of the previous location of the dog house a protoss probe, a worker that opens warp rifts to warp in buildings from an offsite location, begins opening the warp rifts and buildings begin to materialize.

Overmind:
Via Hunter Killer

Remembers about the 'out manuvered claim'...decides that this is as good of a time a any to tell Red Dog that all of that strategy was for naught

I care not of being out manuvered, my minions are absolutely loyal to me, nothing can rip them from my grip with the exception of death. They will attack until I order them to stop, For they are part of a species that will soon aquire the purfect power that they deseve.



Overmind:
Via Hunter Killer

*Whittles little wooden dogs*

Glad you're enjoying the role playing.

*decides these poor boys look bored.
*picks up cellphone, calls the god of the dog-cat wars and asks him to hold off on the fiery retrobution thingy

*pops out of weapon of mass destruction thingy and tucks it in her pocket, then opens pocket wider.

*the army of the dead begins to pour out...*

ad infititum, ect., ect.,...

Hey, evil army guys. Look!

target practice!

*Whittles a little wooden ghost*

*Drinks lemonade*