h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hello... We have come to ivade the doghouse and force our dominance over you and the rest of h2g2. Muhahahhahahha.
So either surrender or face the consequences you cheese-eating surrender monkey!!
Wait... are you sure that monkey bit was on the script.... Oh okay...
Ummm. Sorry what I meant was: surrender or else!

Lord Draco

Come now don't be bashful, just make yourself at home old gel. We've most of the refreshments you'd expect a tip top establishment like ours to have.

What about your charming friends, what would they like ?

Most impressive array of weaponry might I add. Most impressive. I might like to inspect the Guard later if I may. Brings back memories of our glory days you know .

*eyes moisten slightly*

Just out of curiousity (since i'm not a cat) WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??!
*Begins to hyperventilate*

Do you treat all megalomainacal leaders of armies like this or did i catch you on a good day?

By the way: I will never forget being curiotisized. You don't forget that kind of thing, ya know.

And I NEVER forget reading about him being curiositized...

Well, I'm not sure how to put this since you've gone to so much trouble to invade and all that and you've got all those catapult thingy's built and, well it's just that we're not the force we once were you see.

All the Dog Troopers were discharged once we'd defeated the Cats and we mothballed all the weapons. Even the Chiuahauitzer was withdrawn from service and the hen grenades were given an honourable discharge. We're completely out of Catnip rounds and the Drool Bombs were decommissioned last year.

We're operating on a care an maintenance basis only.

It's such a shame as you have all that shiney pyrotechnics ready to launch and you've nothing to launch them at. I don't know what to say - if only I'd known I could have had something ready for you

Now can I get you a cup of or something.

We're here to take over and stuff...
[FFSTwhim: continue flying around dumping "mud"]
[zergwhim: chew on random things]
[LWwhim: launch EM at doghouse walls]
[SWIMMINGwhim: Don't do anything b/c there's no water and you're not here]

Red Dog, I should apologize for invading with army and stuff, but i'm not going to

Well just help yourself old boy. I could pretend to struggle a bit if that would help.

I blame myself

Ummmm... When were the cats defeated. I don't recall that (i haven't been on in a while but...) They seemed pretty good when I just visited...

Oh well... If you're not in the state to fight then surrender to the awesomely coolness that is the EVilClaw dramatic pose *dramatic but cheesy pose*

Oh, I mean surrender to the might of the Evil Army of H2G2!

Ummmm... Supermoo? What do we do now? This isn't quite what i planned...

THere goes invasion target number 2. Man...

ing

I'm sorry but I thought I'd made that clear - there's nothing to surrender. Feel free to just help yourself. No one here to put up a fight and all that malarky so you're in no danger whatsoever.

You must feel dreadfully put out by the lack of resistance for which I can only apologise once again. If you'd have dropped me a hint or two I could have got a few chaps out of retirement and we could have made it more fun for you.

I am really quite sorry and genuinely distressed for all the inconvenience we've caused you. I mean the cost of shipping all those munitions alone must have been prohibitive.

Would your invading evil army like some refreshments ?

Well, this has been turning out to be a weird day. For example this morning this strange George fellow tried to kill me. Obviously I'm stronger and win but he goes back to the castle and claims he slew me and rescued a princess and even manages to convince the king that he had a daughter...
Oh and for lunch i had and . See, a day...

I think we all like ... What a day...

Splendid idea !

*brews some *

Coincidentally, thats the same thing that happened to the house. No one talks to me anymore so its just me. Also, we were never really big to begin with.

I've been trying to revive the dragonhouse but... mumble mumble mutter mutter talk to one self tightly fitting clothes...

You know how it is...

Tell me about it ! You toil long and hard all day trying to build up alliances and support and you close your eyes for ten minutes and everybody sods off. I mean really !

No one appreciates the difficulties of leading an elite force of researchers these days moan whine whinge ........

Draco are you talking to yourself?

*In a state of shock**sits on a spamapault*
I guess when you invade a place you expect that it is invadeable... Hmmm time to think of target number 3... Bugger.
*eats random *

I just wanted to lead an organization of flying, flame breathing reptiles! Is that too much to ask?

I AM talking to myself... whoa... *also sits down*
*nibbles on *

... *sips *
Well this didn't turn out at all how i expected...

[LWwhim: funny walk]
[EMwhim: get out of spamapaults]
[FFSTwhim: make rude noises]
[zergwhim: I don't know, go assimilate something...]
[EvilClawwhim: Why'm I ordering myself?]

*sigh* Well, tommorows another day... And out invasion of the masters of the multiverse went off sortof succesfully...

This is all terribly confusing... I remember back in the day when i first joined...... no wait, i don't remember at all... I'll just make up some memories: I was poor and starving and red dog fed me... wait thats not right...

I know: I'm secretly unbeknowenstly a prince of some exotic country without indoor plumbing... Or maybe not...