h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*raises his right hand, a golden eagle leg with a white pearlescent ball appears in its claws (the Occulus). The ball glows and a white light encompasses HDS, just before the spell hits, HDS activates his level 24 "Thorns" aura, it returns 990% of damage done to him to the caster. and the spell smashes into the shield, ripping it from HDS's body, the rest of the damage is diverted to HDS's mana pool, taking it down by 17% (that of course begins to refill due to "Warmth"*

but you have no idea what I find interest, or if I have seen anything more interesting than that (bet I have, I am inter-galactic and inter-dimansional vagabond I bet I have seen things more interesting than a midgy little bomb

oh hell...

*casts antimagic field*
*stops spell with it*
*brings it down.*

<Fine, the bomb didn't work>

*casts an epic spell he just made up, "aura of spell-less-ness"*
*all protections are down and no new ones can go back up, since you started having these damage returns and random vs. undead spells, and yet never let yourself take any damage(which is[not at all] what I call being a sport), most of the fun has left this, so lets jsut get back to the weapons. And no goofy interdimensional transformations and multiversal powers either, that'll ruin it. Magical weapons, sure, though.*

*draws a black blade and a small dagger*

this will be rather hard against an incorporial thingy, but I shall try

*presses shadowy hands together, then spreads them apart, as they spread, a black runed pipe apears, at five feet apart, HDS's hands stop, clasped in one hand is the handle, and in the other a mace head with 6 blades radiating from the center mass.*

Prepare to meet Grond, the Hammer of the Underworld

*Presses the mace head against his right breast, then sweeps it away in a respectful salute, as he does, he takes form, nine feet tall, wearing glowing, translucent gold and blue runed armor, which glows in stark contrast to the eternal black core of the "body" within it. On the right arm a translucen blue kite shield with gold tinging and runes (similar to the armor) appears. HDS steps forward and swings his mighty mace at Spectre*

[3 is your roll-you ignore the incorporealness]

*knocked into a tombstone, a bit, but blocks most of the blow with his sword(odd as it may seem)(undead are quite strong, you know)*
*pulls out his fireseed blowpipe*

phhtphhtphhtphhtphhtphhtphht
*6 glowing marble-sized orbs fly toward HDS, and explode in 6 fireballs, setting the dead foliage around into bright flames*

never played D&D

*HDS raises his shield to the marbles, not realizing what they where going to do, he also lowers his head and cannot see the fire rushing towards his feet, but boy does he feel it. HDS gets quite a hotfoot, he leaps backwards and tumbles over a tomb stone, with Spectre obscured by the fire HDS does his best to aim his wrist crossbow at him and fires an "Immolation bolt" which explodes on contact and releases a man-sized patch of fire that burns for about 10 seconds before disipating*

as some one, somewhere observed, most of my magic comes from Diablo II

I figured you haven't played D&D, that's alright, you seem to have plenty of spells... If you were talkign about the d4, its just a pyramid that you roll and right now, if you get a 1, you miss me.
[4]

*struck by your bolt, and some of the flames, and dodges to the side... half inside a stone block.*
*steps forward, out of the stone.*
*throws 2 throwing axes at HDS...*
*1st axe hits the tombstone he stumbled over, shattering it to pieces*
*2nd?*

*the second axe handle strikes HDS on his left wrist, knocking Grond from his hand. HDS tries to load his wrist crossbow again, but it jams, he'll need more time than he has now to fix it. He picks the throwing axe up and throws it back*

[3]

*axe grazes Spectre, though it does not do much harm, it slices one of his pouches of fireseeds, and they drop to the ground, like little orange pebbles.*
*picks up some pieces of stone and throws them at HDS, and runs in some direction after throwing the last one*

*one of the pebbles strikes HDS on his shield, it bursts into flame and the fire begins to creep around to the side HDS's arm is on, HDS throws the shield down abd pats the fire of of his arm.*

Argh!

*HDS picks up his mace and runs after Spectre, in the process unjamming his wrist crossbow and firing a lightning bolt after Spectre.*

*looking back, Spectre sees HDS launch the lightning bolt and goes incorporeal just before it goes through him... BUT...
While looking back, he fails to notice that he's running towards a stone mausoleum wall, and when he become material again, he sticks himself on the bolt, which is stuck in the wall*

*swings up teh wall, and knocks a statue onto the ground where he had been standing*

*HDS follows the mausoleum wall, trying to find the gate*

*falls through the ground into an underground tomb and hides somewhere*

*reaches the gates, knocks the lock off with the Mace and kicks the doors in. HDS enters the first mausolium he sees, cautiosly looking and scanning, and searching through mind and sense to find his crafty undead adversary*

*a wraith comes out of a wall and lunges at HDS, hinting that Spectre is very close by...*

*HDS leaps backwards and swings at the wraith with his Mace*

*the wraith is flung into a wall dead*


*another Wraith, thsi one IS me, comes out of a wall and quickly goes the other way, turning a corner not leaving time for it to be fired at*

*HDS, not realizing that the other wraith was infact his adversary, presses himself against the wall. HDS inches to the corner, and goes the direction opposite of the wraith that he does not know is Spectre. He taps the mace in his right palm, the head shines a beam of light on whatever it is pointed at (like a Mag Lite) HDS follows the beam, looing for Spectre*

*Spectre is somewhere inside the ceilings*

*the place around HDS shakes a bit, and dust falls off the walls and ceilings to the floor, and a few pebbles*

*looks up and around*

oh this is not a good omen

*turns and starts running towards the exit*

*ceiling where HDS had been collapses*

*comes out of the rubble*
*wielding his black sword*
*chases*