h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Anselmus hands his camera off to the biker and calls his friend over*

Jorge!

*They stand in front of the group, in the middle of the alley, Anselmus' arm around Jorge's shoulders, grinning like loons and making the hand gestures they've practiced to look cool on photos*

*The bikies look at each other incredulously, and ham around for the camera. The first biker takes several pictures, then sits back down again. The camera disappears*

*For the moment, Anselmus doesn't notice the loss of his camera*

*He's too busy being fascinated by real bikers*

*Jorge, who is more confident of his language skills, begins to question them*

You can take us to party, yes? You like leather, yes? We like the leather, too!

*Kyra almost groans out loud*

*The biker with a snake tattooed on his neck grins like a predator*

Sure, we can take you to some parties. With leather.

*His friends laugh*

*Jorge grins back, still relaxed about this*

With leather! Yes!

*Anselmus has been examining the bikers closely, marvelling at their gear*

*He turns to a particular hairy specimen and points at another*

You have his tattoo, too. You are lovers?

*All the bikers except the two with snake tattoos laugh. Kyra almost laughs as well. She's stuck between horror at what's most likely going to happen and hilarity of the ignorance of these two tourists*

*The hairy speciman stands up. He towers over Anselmus by almost a foot, and he's almost as wide as he is tall*

*He lifts Anselmus up by the front of what is left of his shirt*

What did you say to me? </>

*The buttons on Anselmus' leather waistcoat threaten to pop off, and his voice is rather strained*

The same symbol. It has meaning?

*Jorge's voice, too, is suddenly rather high*

We go now, yes?

*The biker drops Anselus heavily*

You're going nowhere.

*Kyra stands up. She hadn't wanted to get involved, especially as even the smallest man there is probably twice her size, but she can't let these two get killed just because they're idiots. She squeezes into the circle*

Hey guys. Listen, as much as I'd love to watch these two idiots get the crap beat outta them, it'd be more trouble than it's worth. See, they're part of a group of diplomats. I overheard them talking before. If they die, the Guard is going to be all over this place, and I mean *all* over. I for one don't need them sniffing around.

*She doesn't look around at the tourists, but beneath her casual exterior she's desperately wishing she knew of a god she could pray to that they will have enough sense to either play along or keep their traps shut*

*Anselmus and Jorge exchange startled looks - this isn't entirely how they'd planned it*

*Jorge draws himself up*

Yes! Diplomats, yes.

*Anselmus presses the ear bud close to his ear again, to make himself look more important*

* As Kyra has been absent from the tardis for quite a while, Eli and Lucy decide to go and look for her - dressed to impress@ and armed to the teeth, of course. Fortunately, Eli's knowledge of Westhaven is still pretty thorough, and they find their way around easily, without getting lost or encountering trouble. *

* As they can't find her out on the streets, they decide to check a couple of bars, starting with the ones close to the tardis. In the third bar they enter they see Kyra, surrounded by a gang of bikers. Frankie starts to growl, but one word from Eli's enough to make her stop. She does remain tense, however, flattening her ears and baring her teeth. *


@http://img5.allocine.fr/acmedia/medias/nmedia/18/35/23/92/18376389.jpg
http://jamesbond.ugo.com/girls/my/yeoh.jpg

*The hairy specimen looks suspicious for a few seconds, but then his face clears, possibly as he remembers the camera. A diplomat's camera must be valuable*

Heh, whatever.

*He sits back down, and the rest of the gang looks disappointed*

*Kyra turns back to the tourists*

If I were you I'd scurry off home now </>

*She doesn't bother hiding the disgust in her voice*

*Before the brainless wonders can answer, Kyra sees Eli out of the corner of her eye, and grins. She slips out of the circle again and heads towards him*

* Eli flashes a smile at Kyra, but keeps his eyes on the group of bikers - as does Frankie. Lucy smiles at Kyra as well, and bows a little towards her as she reaches them. *

Problems? </>

*Kyra shakes her head slightly and sits down at a nearby table*

Hopefully not </>

*She keeps a casual eye on the gang and the tourists as she orders another beer*

*Anselmus considers making a fuss over his lost camera, but it's not that important - their mission has been delayed enough*

*The tourists edge out of the circle, giving the bikers vaguely hopeful smiles, and disappear into the bar proper*

* Eli, too, leans in a little closer. *

What was all that about? </>

* Lucy orders beer for both of them. *

*Kyra briefly outlines what happened while rubbing Frankie's ears. When she's finished she laughs*

Idiots were trying to get themselves killed.

* Eli sighs and exchanges a glance with Lucy. *

Tourists... And they haven't even *left*. They went into the bar. If those bikers hang around until they come out again... </>

*Kyra looks solemn*

Yeah. I'd lay pretty good odds on them not leaving the planet alive. Whoever keeps making brochures and travel books about this place should be shot.

* Eli glances at the door to the bar and takes a sip from his beer. *

Still, you'd have to be very naive to believe those... Let's hope they wise up in time.

*Kyra smiles faintly*

I've learnt that there are a lot of very dumb people in the world.

*She shrugs*

Hell, the bikers are nearly as bad for believing me.