h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

* Isolde nods and sits down at the desk. *

I see. Zen I'd better take a look at your hand, Leutnant.

*The card from Eli's pocket is this one*

http://gfx.tarot.com/images/decks/old_english/full_size/46.jpg

*On the reverse, it says*

A little learning is a dangerous thing.
Quaff deep, or taste not the Pierian spring.
Forbidden fruit gives juice this week,
Tomorrow buy, if clues you seek.

*MacAlpine snorts angrily*

Yes, I suppose you had better.

*He sits down, and lays his hand on the desk. It's neatly bandaged, because he's had a lot of practice*

* The card gives Eli a lot of food for thought, and he muses over it while sipping his tea. *

Another Tarot card? From the Minor Arcana this time... And Alexander Pope? I don't think he mentioned forbidden fruit, though...

* He takes another sip of tea, deep in thought. *

* Isolde carefully removes the bandage and examines MacAlpine's hand. The man is right, it's not healing as it's supposed to. She lets go of his hand and looks up. *

Have you been usink ze salve I gave you, Leutnant?

*MacAlpine looks exasparated*

Of course I have, ma'am.

*He averts his eyes from his palm*

It doesn't work, though.

* Isolde nods slowly. *

Yes, zat is obvious. I guess ve'd better take a skan, Leutnant, to see vat's goink on. Vould you kome vis me, please?

* She leads MacAlpine to the scanner room and gestures at the technician. The woman nods and starts to prepare for a scan while Isolde turns to her patient. *

Please take your shoes of and lie down, Leutnant.

*Saladin Larris turns to the invisible audience*

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you "Dead Ducks".

*He nods regally to Suleiman, and they both start playing - and Saladin sings along*

The Brontosaurus had a brain no bigger than a crisp.
The Dodo has a stammer and the Mammoth had a lisp.
The auk was just to awkward, now they're none of them alive,
Each one, like man, had shown himself unfitted to survive.
Their story points a moral now it's we who wear the pants;
The extinction of these species holds a lesson for us ants... </>

*Suleiman finishes with a flourish*

You should switch to clarinet, Sal...

*Saladin laughs*

Why? Want the piano to yourself?

*Suleiman grins*

No, you can't *sing* while you play a clarinet...

*He escapes the playful swat by standing up and thrusting the sheet music reader between himself and his assailant*

*MacAlpine thinks loudly that there are *three* syllables in the word "Lieutenant" - lef-TEN-ant - and anyway, he doesn't see why he has to take his boots off if it's his hand that hurts, but he complies, tugging at his boots with his good hand until they're finally off*

*He lies down on the scanner table without saying a word, though he's mentally composing a letter of complaint*

* The scan is completed quickly, as usual, and Isolde smiles at MacAlpine. *

Sank you, Leutnant. You kan sit up again and put your boots bak on, if you vant to.

* She studies the readouts carefully. *

It *is* hogweed poisoning, that much is clear. But something is blocking the energy pathways, interfering with healing. What... </>@

* She looks up at MacAlpine. *

Have you been takink any ozzer medisine, Leutnant? Ozzer zan ze pain killers I gave you, zat is?



@ For readers who may have forgotten: Isolde thinks in Romulan, and therefore has no accent when she does - thanks to the excellent thought translation devices provided by the authors of this game.

* Eli has the card from the gymnast and what it may mean still very much on his mind as he and Frankie walk back to the Mariposa. They make their way to his quarters, where Eli sits down behind his console to do some research. Frankie meanwhile takes the sensible approach and installs herself on the comfy spot on Eli's couch. *

*Suleiman and Saladin eat dinner at home, because they want to get to a console as quickly as possible when they're done*

*They are by now quite confident that they can pull it off, and now just need to make it official*

*Saladin types the letter, with Suleiman looking over his shoulder and adding bits he thinks it needs*

To: Lt Alleyne Devereaux
From: Cpl Saladin Larris
Re: Theatre use

Sir,

My brother Suleiman Larris and I would like to ask your permission to give a piano recital in the theatre, open to the general public. We are planning to show a short film as well, provided we can get it filmed. Does the theatre have any recording equipment we could use? (Audio equipment will not be required) Thank you in advance for your time - and please forgive us if you're the wrong person to ask in this matter.

Yours respectfully,

Cpl Saladin Larris

*It should be formal enough to pass muster, so they send it off and then go back to their epad*

*In the wendy house, the Gaels - still twelve of them, since nobody's picked up Kevin and Cuchulainn yet, and they're enjoying the visit, and no regular duties other than Fourth Watch - are lounging around the pool*

*In a reflective mood, Kevin strums a guitar, and Mairin sings*

'The tree of life my soul has seen, laden with fruit and always green...'</>

http://www.christmas-tree.ca/music/mp3/apple.mp3

*Jamie floats alone in the centre of the rock pool, making the Vitruvian Man, and smiles to himself*

*MacAlpine remains right where he is, staring obstinately at the ceiling*

Just my regular medications, they *are* mentioned in my file... And I took some other painkillers once or twice when the ones you gave me ran out. But I've done my research, they aren't a problem.

* Isolde glances at MacAlpine, just managing not to make it a sharp glance. *

Vat kind of pain killers, Leutnant?

*Lt Devereaux is sharing a quiet glass of apple wine (sent by a friend on the Orion) with Lt von Koestler, when his console pings*

*He excuses himself, still humming the tune von Koestler's playing on the guitar, while he reads the message*

*He smiles to himself, and answers*

To: Cpl Saladin Larris
Re: Theatre Use

Cpl Larris:

I'm sure there's no problem with the theatre, as long as you check the schedule with Communications.

Rory Donahue's the tom you want to talk to, and he can probably get you use of a camcorder as well.

The Gaels can set up your projection equipment, as well.

Best of thespian luck to you,

Lt Devereaux

*He send this off, singing quietly along*

'The trees of nature fruitless be...'</>

*MacAlpine finally sits up, but remains on the scanner table, dangling his stockinged feet over the edge*

Just paracetamol, Doctor. I don't use anything illegal.

* Inwardly, Isolde rolls her eyes, but she keeps her facial expression professionally friendly. *

I vasn't implyink zat you did, Leutnant. But zat does eksplain why your hand hasn't healed. Ze parasetamol is inhibitink ze healink properties of ze salve I gave you.

*MacAlpine snorts*

What it's doing is making it worse than it would've been left to itself! You could've warned me, ma'am.

*He gets the feeling she doesn't take his concerns seriously*

I can't function at my job if I'm in pain.

* Isolde frowns. *

I *did* tell you to kome and see me if you needed more pain killers, Leutnant. You should have done so.

* She takes a deep breath. *

Listen very karefully, for I shall say zis only once. In zis Sickbay ve praktise holistic medisine. Zat means zat ve look at ze *whole* body ven treatink a patzient, and ve karefully plan ze medikatzion, so zat different types of drugs don't interfere - and ideally *strengsen* each ozzer.

* She gives MacAlpine a stern look. *

StarFleet offizers should know better zan to self-medikate, Leutnant. If zose pain killers I gave you veren't strong enough, I kan give you different ones - but ze ones I gave you are stronger zan parasetamol.