h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Jamie and Cuchulainn are both on wheels, one on the Mariposa, one on the Intrepid*

*The two ships have arranged their orbits so that they are now on opposite sides of the planet*

*Jamie and Cuchulainn lock minds, sharing their vision of the energy patterns*

*This is what they see*

http://zapatopi.net/themes/dactylfractalzoom.html

*Jamie winces - and Cuchulainn laughs in Jamie's mind*

Close your mind to that. Too many humans...</>

*Jamie does so, and sees*

http://www.embege.com/fractals/index.php?f=ifsapi.html

*Cuchulainn's mind-voice is encouraging*

Good. You've got the humanoid element out - that's caused by human arrogance. They think everything's about them, d'you see?</>

Now, work with me. You take one side, I take the other. Make the pattern turn in on itself.</>

*Jamie works with Cuchulainn, and they close the pattern*

*Jamie smiles to himself*

Good thing I've got you to teach me.</>

*Cuchulainn smiles back - smiles can be felt*

You're doin' fine, mo buachaill. Now we just play Goth baseball with 'em - and sing a bit.</>

*Jamie laughs*

*And they play with the FCE*

http://www.ababasoft.com/fun/physics/030215.html

*Cuchulainn and Jamie sing*

'Hey, Mr Tambourine Man, play a song for me...'</>

http://www.jacquedee63.com/mrtamborineman.html

*Sabian rolls his eyes in exasparation, but decides it's just as well - with Castlemaine gone, they can probably work more efficiently.*

*Of course, he'd looked at Billy's results as soon as they came in - and quickly ordered the same tests for all new suspected cases - and has stopped the antibiotics treatment, as it is not effective against viruses.*

*However, the vaccines he has replicated are.*

*Unfortunately, this strain is hardier and more infectious than the usual, isolated cases of viral meningitis, but as long as the symptoms are adequately treated and the patients kept comfortable, there should be no casualties or lasting damage.*

*Sharpe sits at his chair on the bridge and calls Nurse Larriss on the comlink while keeping an eye on von Koestler who is monitoring Jamie and Cuchulainns progress with the FCE.*

Nurse Lariss report please. How is it going down there?

Where is that smegger Castlemaine?</>

Have you located Dr Castlemaine yet, by the way? What is he up to?

* Eli's conversation with the Maha Mahout ends with the King agreeing to allow the establishment of a Confederation embassy or consulate on Myeyesore. After some final pleasantries the Maha Mahout allows Eli to leave, and, as he hasn't seen Professor Mukherjee, he goes back to his quarters to store the second bottle of ta'al-ta'al potion. *

* In his room he finds Sharpe's message. He momentarily contemplates warning Kyra first, but as there would be nothing she can do, he pockets the letter and goes to his shuttle. *

*After a quick round of the patients, all of whom seem to be resting peacefully, Sabian returns to his console to write another message, having had an idea*

To: Dr Radu Popescu
Re: Meningitis

Sir,

The cause of infection has been determined to be a virus. This should be fairly easy to contain, but we must move fast, lest the strain mutate and grow resistant. To this end, I would like to take you up on your offer of assistance. There is some personnel aboard this vessel whose duties prevent them from going to the mess halls to be inocculated. May I request that you or your team seek out these crew members and ensure that they are indeed vaccinated? I am enclosing a list of likely candidates.

Respectfully,

Sabian Larris

*He carefully puts together a list from the records, including Jenkins, those Security personnel guarding the shuttle bay and sickbay, and, after a moment's consideration, Quirinus, who is unlikely to show up at any mess*

*Billy stirs, feeling thirsty, yet unable to lift his head nor open his eyes.. He lets out a quiet groan*

*Sabian Larris quickly opens his com to take the incoming call*

Only one new patient, sir, and we've got the vaccinations for the whole crew set up. I would request that you make a tannoy announcement to the effect that all crew members who have not yet been innoculated and do not have truly pressing duties proceed quietly to their respective messes.

*He wonders briefly what to say about Castlemaine without making him sound bad, but then decides he's making *himself* sound bad.*

Dr Castlemaine was just here briefly, sir, to confirm the outbreak of viral meningits and order us to commence treatment and vaccination.

*As the two starships continue to orbit the planet Reda, keeping the planet between them, Jamie and Cuchulainn - turning in their respective wheels - knit up the connectors of the FCE, making the energy dance*

*The energy which they alone can see*

*Jamie mind-calls to Cuchulainn*

Hey, Ard Ri, any chance we can get this one to hook up?</>

http://www.ababasoft.com/fun/mindconcentration/011225.html

*Cuchulainn laughs softly in Jamie's head*

If you've got the time, I've got the angle of inclination.</>

'I danced in the morning when the world begun...'</>

*Jamie joins him*

'I danced in the moon, and the stars, and the sun...'</>

*On the Mariposa bridge, Liam mans astrogation with Lt von Koestler*

*Rory and Toirdhealbhach monitor progress from the Astrogation Office, while Ilya - declaring that unless they want to make rain, he's useless this trip - shuttles back and forth to the warren, bringing food and coffee*

*Dr Popescu gets Sabian's message, and sends back*

To: Sgt Sabian Larris, Sickbay
Re: Emergency

Sgt Larris -

My people are on it now.

Popescu

*He delegates some of his staff to go to the shuttle bay and Sickbay to innoculate Security, while he himself heads first to the bridge - just to make sure the crew there have been innoculated - and opting to go to the engine room next, and then to find Quirinus Fieldman*

*Before he leaves his lab, Popescu sends a message to Dr Herriot*

To: Dr Herriot
Re: Emergency on board

Dr Herriot -

I and some of the staff will be assisting with innoculations against the meningitis outbreak aboard the Mariposa.

Please make sure that you and your staff - as well as Dr Tanna - have been innoculated.

Otherwise, please be on call for veterinary emergencies, as we will be about the ship containing the threat to humans.

Radu Popescu

*Sharpe still gazing over at von Koestler, catches the implication in Larris's communication, and snorts.*

Got you, smegger. One time to many that is</>

Thank you Nurse Larris, carry on, good man.

*Sharpe turns on the tannoy and announces*

This is your Captain.
Will all crew members who have not yet been innoculated please go to your respective messes. Members of the the medical staff will meet you there. There is plenty of vaccine for everyone.

Please be orderly and calm as you proceed through the halls. Please remember to wash your hands with soap every two hours for the time being.

End of communication.

*Herriot both hears the announcement and reads the message, so he goes up to the apartment to collect Tanna*

*They walk to the junior officers' mess together and patiently wait in line.*

*Herriot quietly explains that this time, he really will need to be on call - he's not just staying at work late again.*

*The tannoy announcement startles Quirinus, who was almost dozing off again, staring at the console screen.*

*He's not sure what's meant by it, but decides that since he's not a crew member and all his vaccinations are up-to-date, it's likely not anything that concerns him.*

*Soon, he is once again forcing himself to concentrate on his work.*

* When Eli reaches the airfield, he takes a good look around. There are no Mariposa shuttles at the moment, but most of the regular groundcrew are there, taking it easy in the shade of the control tower and the buildings. Eli enters his shuttle and writes a reply to Sharpe. *

To: Captain Sharpe
Re: Meningitis outbreak

Captain,

Thank you for the warning. We hope everyone on board will be alright. I'll try to find out - discretely, of course - if there are any cases of mysterious illness among the Bangle-or ground crew, as they would run the greatest risk of infection, and let you know ASAP.

Lt. Christopoulos and I have not been in contact with any Mariposa crew for several Redan days, and my shuttle is fully fuelled. If necessary, and if there are no cases of infection here, I can do a few shuttle runs between the two islands.

There are no Mariposa shuttles on Bangle-or at the moment. Are there any stranded on Myeyesore? And has the disease been identified?

Please let me know if there's anything we can do.

Best wishes for all on board,

Eli Charognard

PS. A little good news: The negociations have been completed succesfully. Reda has agreed to allow a space station in orbit and the establishment of an embassy or consulate on each of the two main islands. With that, it would seem my mission is completed. If DIA HQ agrees, we can return to the Mariposa at any convenient time.

* He reads it through and sends it off. He then thinks for a moment and smiles. He gets his tablas and walks over to the workers under the tower. A little later, they are singing and playing, which gives Eli the opportunity to discretely observe the men and ask where that particularly good flute player and sweet-voiced singer are at the moment. *

*Walking down the corridors, Castlemaine hears the tannoy announcement*

*He snaps his fingers and hisses through his teeth..*

.. Frell, I knew there was something I should have done!.. I need my own innoculation!.. D*mnation and high water!

....That means I'm going to miss that classic version of Quatermass on Galactovision!..

*He turns back to return to Sick Bay.. Stops, thinks a bit more..*

..Nah! It can wait until later.. I prefer Quatermass!

*So he returns to his quarters and turns on the viewing screen*

*Sgt Patrick Harper is waiting in the Sgt's Mess for his innoculations*

*He is concerned there is no sign of Billy. He hasn't seen the boy for a few days now*

I do 'ope the tinker is be'avin' himself </>

*He nods his head to Sgt MacPerson as he passes on his way out of the Mess*

*Dr Popescu arrives on the bridge, and begins innoculating the bridge crew*

*He glances at Capt Sharpe - aware that the Captain is displeased with him for 'losing' Liam on Reda - but makes an effort to remain calm and professional, as people need reassurance during an emergency, and not personality clashes*

Captain, if I may?

*He innoculates Capt Sharpe along with the others, with a quick applicaiton of a hypospray*

*As he gives Lt von Koestler the innoculation, Popescu nods to Liam neutrally*

And Liam, you Gaels do not need innoculation. You are immune to this disease already.

*Liam nods his understanding*

*Before leaving the bridge, Dr Popescu turns to the Captain*

Sir. Some of you may feel fatigue as a result of the innoculation. I recommend that you rest, if you can, and drink liquids.

*He salutes the Captain, and departs the bridge, heading for the engine room - for, with the current state of engineering, obvious even to a non-expert like Popescu from the large bridge complement, and the presence of Liam on the bridge - any illness in the engine room might have terrible consequences*

*Not only for the Mariposa, but also for the planet of Reda*

*Sabian Larris doesn't know how long he's been working, or when he's last eaten, or when he'll get to do either of those again.*

*But that isn't important at the moment.*

*He may appear to be lazing about in front of the console, but he's the eye of the storm, really, directing the whirlwind of sickbay activity.*

*Nonetheless, he takes time to vaccinate the few who feel the need to come to sickbay instead of their messes, reassuring and informing them, and sometimes goes to glance at his quiet patients.*

*Sharpe sees Charognard message and groans.*

He is still acting like the legend he is in his own mind</>

*He grimaces when Popescu gives him the hypospray*

Thank you Doctor.

*Sharpe writes the Ambassador*

Dear Mr Charognard,

The planet currently has other larger problems than a minor epidemic, but two excellent astral engineers and a terrific astrogation team is working on it. The initial victim had never been on Reda.

So please do keep an eye on the unloaders in the shuttle bay area and report any instances of illness there immediately. The Intrepid will send aid for victims and family members.

The disease is viral in nature and drastic symptoms include soreness in the neck, inability to withstand brightlight, extreme stomach cramping and vomiting.

There are NO Mariposa shuttle pilots down on the planet, thank you for asking.

I am glad your mission turned out successfully. Hopefully we won't lose the planet to some catastrophe in the meantime.

Richard Sharpe Captain CSS Mariposa

*Jamie and Cuchulainn are on the home stretch*

*Jamie sends his thoughts to Cuchulainn*

There's one more thread, mo chara.</>

http://www.ababasoft.com/fun/gravitation/020408.html

*Cuchulainn chuckles*

Let's do it.

*And they do*

*After awhile, the fields are steady, and the fields are holding, and Jamie and Cuchulainn relax and see the results of what they've made, in what they call cleartext*

http://www.interviewwithgod.com/lovemovie/index.htm

*When they are done, Cuchulainn weeps softly in Jamie's mind, spent from the energy*

*Jamie sings a little song for him*

'My master was so very poor...'</>

*Cuchulainn receives the energy in the song, and is strengthened*

Thank you, mo buachaill. It's been nice working with you.</>

*Jamie grins as the wheel slows*

Same here, mo chara.</>

*Sgt Harper reaches the head of the queue*

*He is still looking about for Billy when he gets his hypospray*

Ye snuck up on me with that one! </>

*Everyone grins, Harper is well known for his phobia of injections and suchlike!*

*Hunching his shoulders, he glowers and stomps off*