h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Errr, I'm not sure. Wasn't any of mine. Refresh my memory?

It were a dark and stormy night on the pirate ship Rusty Scupper, sometime before the war. Pegleg O'Houlihan was trying to keep his balance in what passed for a dining room, but the lurching of the ship kept making the tin plate slide back and forth on the table. The bottle wobbled so much that he had to clutch it with one hand to keep it from spilling. With the other hand he used the ship's only fork to shovel beans and hard tack into his mouth -- this had to be done quickly so the fork could dart back at the plate and keep it from sliding off the table. A particularly high wave made the table jump. The bottle and plate had had enough by this point. They scuttled together across the table before O'Houlihan could stop them, and dashed into hiding. They were never seen again on the Rusty Scupper. Some say that they turned up in Nebraska seventeen years later, but this may be an urban myth.

This tale was later turned into a song, familiar on many a pirate ship:

Houlihan Houlihan what's for supper?
what's for supper on the Rusty Scupper?
The fork has vanished the beans have split
The bottle's gone and the drink with it
Houlihan Houlihan what yer gonna do?
catch a rat and cook some stew?

We were half way across the Pacific when the first mate spied Mopey Dick, the great white whale that had done such a job on Captain Ahem. Well, Mopey was nothing if not resourceful. He realized that white was a bad color for a creature as large and well-known as he, so now he spent a couple months a year disguising himself as an island covered with vegetation. He was so well-disguised by now that several shipwrecked pirates were camped out on him without realizing that he wasn't a real island. As long as they were harmless, he didn'tmind.

However, one day he felt something sharp being driven into his side. The pirates were digging a hole so they could dig for treasure that they assumed some earlier pirates had buried there.

As we watched them dig, we were surprised to see the "island" submerge suddenly. The pirates were left floundering in the water.

"Should we rescue them?" The first mate asked.

"Well, they are pirates," the captain said. "But that isn't really an island, is it? I suspect its that great white whale we've heard so much about."

While the captain considered the situation, the whale resurfaced several knots away. The first mate examined it with his telescope and exclaimed, "Actually, the whale does have a treasure chest under his fin."

That was all we needed. We set off in pursuit.

You want anything to eat with that drink, Lighthouse Girl?

Probably should but only if it has a drink with it! hic

There's a bottle of rum baked into this

works for me!

*hic*

'ning everyone. Is the international toaster working today?

If it does I'll drink to it

re 13187:
I bet that whale treasured its chest

I think the whale was on its way to deposit the chest in a sperm whale bank.

Is that one of the banks of the Ohio?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmwLUhejboo

* Plugs the internet toaster back in *

Lets see if it works now ...


* a very large explosion follows *

Now where is the ships engineer when you need him ...

* decides to have a drink while she waits *

I'll drink to that

I should get back to working on this one of these days:
A87741507