h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

us pirates get that a lot when pillaging a ship or a port



Santa Claus has issued an emphatic denial of his nonexistence.

oh thank you thank you both

and actually yes i had confirmation of Santa Claus' existence about 5 years ago in California when i asked Santa for snow and... what fell twice Christmas day wasn't exactly snow... snow never falls where my dad's house in Carmel Valley was... it was slushy hail but so much and kinda melty and looked snowy all over the ground and i ventured out in it and scooped some up and it smelled just like snow !!

there IS Santa Claus!

Of course there is! You could populate a small country with Santas in December. Then they take a ten-month rest, and you see nary a one.

so when was the last time we visited Santa's workshop


... . . ...

. .... . .


. ... . .there's a Santa's workshop we can visit?!

Sure there is. this ship has been to atlantis and a lot of other hard to reach places. I bet kes could get us there any time he wanted.

really?!

Of course first we would have to locate kes.

i found kes!! U139239

. ... .after doing some research... . .fluffykerfuffle uncorks a bottle of some nice port and pours a glass... . . .then waits. ... .

hopefully kes will smell the wine and show up
maybe a few more glasses would help

he got us to christmas island all right

and through the australian desert as well

Even from Cuba to Australia via the center of the Earth

his skills are certainly - er - remarkable, to say the least...

Was Kes a kestrel in a previous life?

you might want to go to U139239 and pose that question.

I don't actually expect an answer to that question. Just imagine if Kes answered it, depriving me of one more thing that I might say to pass the time until he returned.

will you look for him on the kes-trail?

I thin he's gone to Kestrailia.

Fancy leaving all that wine, it'll go off, waste not want not.

right you are we don't want it to waste