h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

shagbark walks in. Captain, kes, Alec.
Are we getting everything ready to go so we can head for the pacific?
What route do you thinki we should take?

first things first, mr. shagbark

the 'livet if you please, mr. trician. no rocks, no ice, no water no nothing but whisky

I'll have a large one of those too, please!

i'm afraid it'll take more than that to make me forget about the dreadful 'eastern garbage patch'

ever seen it in real life, mr. trician?

*serves some serious scotchto Capting Porton who Downs it in one swift swallow*

Mr. Navigator ? what can i get for you ?

Babycham for you wasn't it Schlaubart ?

Actually...if we are going to clean up the eastern Garbage Patch, then this device i'm working on might help...

*on the bench is something that looks just like a table leg wrapped in brown paper would to an armed policeman*

*alec unwraps the device and it is in fact a long rubber glove with sensor patches all wired up to the 'Blood's ethernet port.

Now, with this on my arm, i can control that big yellow hydraulic grabber thingy that we use for launching the vast array of excursion vessels available to us in ...er ...one or the other holds in the belly of this mighty vessel.

I got the idea here :

http://www.poptech.org/popcasts/PopCasts.aspx?viewcastid=13

much easier than moving those little levers to try and make the thing pick stuff up, now i only have to THINK about picking something up and the hydraulic grabber starts to do the same...might come in handy.

er.......it just needs a little more work doing to it...er

...perhaps i shouldn't have used that old processor chip from the remains of the talkie toaster project...still, we can try it out when we get there.

SOMEBODY should clear it up.

More Scotch Capting Pedersen ??


alec.

yes please

*grabs the bottle with his good arm*

...Gosh !
that must be so difficult for you Capting Peasnrice....

erm, i mean ...going through life with one good arm...







...and one evil arm.


I bet you have to immobilise the good arm sometimes eh sir...??

...in your er 'line of work ' as it were sir...erm

Would you like a glass with that bottle Capting Peasouper ??

alec.

for a couple of reasons i never drink while w*rking - so in order to catch up i drink straight from the bottle, thank you

*meanwhile, alec has put on the hydraulic grabber control glove thingy to demonstrate the possibilities...*

*salutes back, smartly*



! Aye Aye Capting Poirot!

*There is heard a sound that is dread to all mariners...that of metal scraping against metal...coming from somewhere up on the boat deck.
This sound is followed by another distinct one...splintering wood.*

Well...as i said, it still needs a little work...erm

We should get a damage report thingy Cap'n Piper...that was either your private launch sir, or we now have a new and interesting view into the lady pirates showers sir...

*alec shakes his hand in a european gesture...a scream is heard from the direction of the lady pirates showers *

...maybe a spot of luck with the private launch there
Capting Peripatetic...

alec........

*Pulls several USB cables out of the patch board before discovering that the blue one is for the grabber arm.*

It's safe to salute now, Alec!

shagbark grabs surfboard. Well, I guess i will fly out and personally inspect the damage

webcam from surfboard-







Looks like we are going to need some shipwrights.
I see 42 towels where thewood should be.
those won't keep out the rain.

No they won't and there are a number of either things they won't keep out either have 42 more surfboards:

7(6)

*other

So alec do you expect to have all the kinks worked out and safetys installed on your grabber before we reach the Pacific

....ohhhhh....probably



probably not actually Shagheart...it depends how quickly we get there really, doesn't it?

In any case, the 'kinks', as you so amusingly name them are actually meant to be there.
The processor is part of the same batch as was used on the talkie toaster... the 'humanising function' comparators are a bit er overzealous, that's all.

I mean...how difficult can it be to program the thing to pick up rubbish?...erm

Another Babycham for you Sharkbreath??

alec.

No, thanks, alec. I have to go check on the pelican.

Looks left and right and watches out for flashing lights

*fiddles with a thermostat*

~ring ~ring~ incoming message from Pelicans nest---
Alec, please check your thermostats. It is getting cold up here!!