h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ah, sixties jokes. I'd tell a few myself if I had a clear recolection of that segment of my life

yes...well, thankyou for your contribution spotbark.

We all know just what you are referring to when you speak of "the *weed* in your pyjamas"
...and your need to make up for this inadequacy by making multiple consecutive postings to yourself.

However, we have no wish to know what you were doing in someone ELSES pyjamas, even if it was during the sixties.

thankyou
alec.

Hello all, just popped in to check the ship wasn't about to explode, some of those creaks sounded a bit ominous. Wondering if i could join the crew, i'm a dab hand with a spanner, i get seasick, and if there's ever a problem i'll be the first man overboard!

Hello Theone, and welcome aboard, er not quite sure how you found your way down here to the generator room, but you are welcome to lend me a spanner wielding hand...

*rolls out 'Slap-On' rollaway steel punch cabinet, pulls out two icy bottles of gr*lsch from the 'shackleton' compartment*

Care to join me ??

Now, here's what you need to do to become a crew member...

1. Take a tour of this mighty vessel, the Blood of the Zaphodistas :
All the various cabins are listed here : F70774?thread="/h2g2/forum/70774" >F70774?thread=182209 and apply for a position

4.Alternatively you can just hang out for a while to get the feel of the place, here's a couple of good places

F70774?thread=192585 : The Lighthouse Bar, where Lighthouse Girl will make you feel most welcome.

F70774?thread=195918 : Shore Leave in Margaritaville...This mighty vessel is currently lying at anchor off Fort Jefferson in the Dry Tortugas in the Florida Keys...We've taken over the Fort and will shortly be starting training courses for new pirates.
Just grab some shades, your towel, and one of these garish shirts with the tropical flowers all over it.

Don't worry about being seasick, everybody is, it will soon pass.

You might like to start with step #4...

alec.

*in order to prepare the power plant for the perilous passage we are about to partake, alec decides to do the most important items of maintenance first :

1.Selects clean cotton rag from the pile beneath the chute from the sewing room

2.Rolls out the rollaway 'slap-on' steel punch cabinet.

3.Checks exterior temperature gauges

4.Pours two pints of Adnams.

5.Polishes the slightly dusty chrome cylinder-head covers.*

nearly ready!

alec.

Ah! The smell of diesel fuel, the throb of the pistons the warmth that radiates from the exhaust manifolds. Oh.. the Blood is a sailing vessel. That is wholely different set of romantic images. Need a hand sorting clean rags here Alec? I could tap all the gauges and nod signficantly too if required.

:: sits in his usual chair in the far corner of the room, nods and ::

*Consumes one of the Adnam's s*

*pours more *

*nods significantly*

*polishes quietly*

*Nods, drinks ... recalls ancient Yorkshire adage*

"Hear all, sup all, say nowt!"

'eat all...drink all...pay nowt.'

must be yorkshire blood in me veins

...or maybe ancestral Danish blood in Yorkshire veins? Who knows? Let's have another round of s

'sfunny...could have sworn the third monkey just stirred from his usual chair and said summat.

During which time, 't second Yorshire monkey has sold 't chair from under 't third monkey .....

what's with the monkey busines?

*given 'The Blood's present position, (about 20 miles North of Havana)
alec is keeping a close eye on the weather:
http://www.ssd.noaa.gov/PS/TROP/WATLIR2.html

...with the impending arrival of the outer bands of Hurricane Isidore,
alec carries out several important items of maintenance:

1. Rolls out the 'Slap-On' rollaway steel punch cabinet and lashes it to the forward bulkhead.

2. Refills the 'Shackleton' compartment with fresh ice.

3. Juices fresh mangoes, cashew fruits and ananas, adds a full bottle of Mildenhall Grenadan Rum to make a large pitcher of extremely potent punch

4. Polishes shiny chrome cylinder head covers.*

er...hold tight everyone, and remember the rule : 'one hand for the boat, and one hand for yourself'


alec.

... and one hand for the ....

so i guess this is not the proper time to yell

ALL HANDS ON DECK!

is it?

*Obedient as always, Kes puts one hand over the pack of cards.*