h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[Morgas]
Sorry, has anybody seen Boris?

OK, who posted what that needed moderating?

[Lady of Shalott]

I'm sorry, who's Boris. Maybe we could look for him on our travels. Please don't , here is a silk handkerchief to dry away those tears

[Morgas]
He's my husband and I haven't seen him since my visit at Ye hiding place for illicit lovers. You can imagine that he didn't escort me there
Then I went to the shady glade -with lake- in the forest with somebody else who's gone, too. *sniff*
Could I have another handkerchief, please?
Oooh, perhaps even one made of velour?

*this reminds her of Sir Dragonet, her knight at Ye hiding place for illicit lovers and the shady glade -with lake- in the forest and she bursts into tears*

[Lady of Shalott]

Oh dear, please don't . Hear, have some of this hash- and you'll soon feel better.

Have you though about asking the for help locating your missing men? She does a good line in potions if you want revenge too

Opps:: my post// moderated:: which was something like (minus the moderated lyrics I guess)

(Sandra/Sharon?)

Of course I shall give you a quick trim, here; follow me into the Hovel and we shall sort out your short ends: On one condition::
I may be allowed to join you on your quest to slay the mighty dragon that sleeps? in the forgotten Elf kingdom under the mountain, and have one piece of the treasure to allow me to procede to the Retirement Home for hairdressers and be set up for the rest of my retired life::
Is that alright::

(Sir Knight)

It is fine by me, your expertease will surely be needed for our slaying of this dragon with as little as possible sheding of our team of dedicated Dwarfs, Hourses and others...
As long as the Lady agrees..

*The lady and Sharon/sandra? go into the Hovel for a quick!!!! Hair cut/trim*

*The Knight sits down with the dwarfs*

Right, lets sing a different song.....



*Percy and Pressilla move into the edge of the forest*

[Morgas]
The ? You mean my lovely sister Morgan? Forget it...
But revenge sounds fine and the hash- tastes mmmmmmmmmyummmmyummmmm

You naughty boy. What song lyrics did you post?

[Lady of Shalott]

Of course you may join us and get one piece of treasure to set you up in the retirement home. I think a hairdresser is almost essential on a quest such as this. We don't know how long we will be or whether they'll be any salons on the way so we definitely need someone who's handy with the scissors and conditioner.

Perhaps you could give Morgas a shampoo and set, she needs cheering up.

Queen Stealin' its a B side from a single, mmmm; can't remember which single now..

(Sandra/sharon?)

Sure thing::
How about you Sir Knight?

(Sir Knight)

Well, perhaps a quick trim..

(Sandra/sharon?)

Sure thing, but I have to do the Dwarfs; just look at the state of their beards!!

(Dwarfs 1-10)

Great!!!! About time;; beard trimming is our least favourate thing, it will be a great change to have such a proffessional as yourself do it.

(Dwarf 11)

Can I have a perm, set and cut, please::
its no fun being the only female Dwarf out of a band of 11!!

(Percy&Pressilla)

Any chance of a quick trim of our manes and a shampoo?

(Sandra/Dharon)

And I thought I was ment to be retired...
Of course::
all line up..
I shall deal with you one at a time::
But it won't be quick to do.

I wonder why that was moderated but not anything else.

[Lady of Shalott]

Here's a long felled log. If the dwarves all sit on that in a line it should make it easier for you Sandra.

[Dwarf 11]

Yes, I would like my beard cut, layered and permed.

[Morgas]
Yes, some shampoo would be great.
Seaweed can be very stubborn...

(Dwarfs 1-10)

*line up on log*

(Dwarf 11)

But wasn't I a female dwarf without a beard?

(Percy)

Nay

(Sir knight)

Ok lets get going

(Sandra/sharon/lisanda)

snip snip snip snip snip snip snip snip pins pins pins snipsnip snips nips snip/..

[yeah; why haven't the other ones been moderated?]

[Lady of Shalott]

I would imagine that seaweed is as awkward as river weed.

(Sandra/Sharon/sabbrina/sue)

snip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snipsnip
snip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snipsnip
snip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snipsnip
snip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snipsnip

Right, that is you dwarfs done, now dwarf number 11


snip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snipsnip
snip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snipsnip
snip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snipsnip
snip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snipsnip
wash wahw wash waw wash wash wash wash wash washwash
blow-dry blowdry blow-dry blowdry

Right that is now all the Dwarfs, Sir Knight, you are next..


snip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snipsnip
snip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snipsnip
snip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snipsnip

nasil-hair trim, nasil-hair trim nasil-har trim!!!!!!


snip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snipsnip

Oh, you wouldn't believe it, a few days ago I did the nose hair of a majition and he made such a fuss...

Right, Percy, pressilla, wait, I shall do the two Lady's first::

snip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snipsnip
snip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snipsnip
snip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snipsnip
snip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snipsnip
snip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snip snipsnip snip snip snip snipsnip

(Narrator)
To be continued, so tune in next time to see how the hair of our intrepitid travelers turns out.

BWAHAHAHAHAH!(SNORT) I shall fix your hair problem with my hair removal gas bomb deluxe mark 8! It will remove the nails, teeth, and hair of every one within an effective of - 2 MILES!

Kiss all of those unsightly hair folicles, teeth, & nails - GOODBYE!!!!
GODBYE....FOREVER!!!!


BWAWAHAHAHAHAHAH! (WHEEZE) (HACK)

Hooo...Haah...

I, of couse, will be saved from hair loss by a combination of duck-and-cover techniques, and hoooh...haaah..with my anti- GAS MASK!

MU HUHAHAH!

(Sir Knight)

Fear not, my intrepid adventures:: Dwarfs/hairdressers/wizzard(map reader)/Lady/hourses(cammmel?::

(Narrator)

The knight holds aloft his mighty weapon! (That is a sword, so no trubble there!)
Flashes of blue, white and black sparks emerge from the end of the Knights mighty majical sword, surrounding the Hovel and the area around the stream containing the travelers in a dome of silver/black light, which cuts into the fabric of space time, passing through at least 41 different dimensions, allowing phantom images of terrifying terror? to appear in the midstof the mist that falls over the travelers, then::
The majical Sissors of Sandra, take to the air; cutting long streaks through the WSOGMM, time doesn't stop, but neither does it exist within the protective bubble of missing matter::
A large quantity of party poppers explode, and a dozen small lizzards, a rather wooly bat and a hairy dog materialise in mid-air; only to transform into an image of a dragon in a very large church.
The Knight continues holding the now-glowing incandescent sword, and the evil hair-removing figure[s] disipear, through a gap in space time, to go to some unexplored dimentsion, from wence they will be unable to return..

All becomes rather quiet, not the quiet formed by an absence of sound, but rather a quietness produced by the abalution of sound..

(Percy)
cool!

[wooly bat and hairy dog]

Oh no, not again!

(Party poppers)

Oh, no, not again!

[Lady of Shalott]

Bl**dy hell, what was that? Nice weapon knight!

(Sir Knight)

So glad you like my mighty Weapon now we are protected here::
But the vision of Dragon In Church, might not bode well for our quest.
Which reminds me, anyone seen the dwarfs?

(Whale)
Wow; what is all this stuff rushing past what i am suddenly going to call my head?
Big, round:: Ground!
splat!